[Brian Payne]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

Not a coincidence at all. It's more than likely that all the video game makers are working together to corrupt our youth.

You really think video games are made to corrupt and cause shcool shootings and homos and what not? no. its about the money, the fame, and the rep. Have you been keeping up with the world?

[Nobar King]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

It's a friggin' moon. How about we just nuke the moon, yeah, that sounds like a SPLENDID idea.

It's not just a moon. It's a deliberate attack on Christian morality. Microsoft is more interested in promoting a backwards 1500 year old moon religion than the one true faith.

[Yukon Silvermoon]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

It's a friggin' moon. How about we just nuke the moon, yeah, that sounds like a SPLENDID idea.

[Nobar King]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

I should have titled this thread: "HALO III: recruiting mulims, pagans, and bestiality sex addicts."

How could I have known?

[joucke]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

Hello, I'm a new user who discovered this forum today.

I have been in contact with these "Halo" games on the Xbox 360. I have written about what happened, so I want you to read it and help me, tell me what to do.
The latest Halo game is Halo: Reach, but it's basically the same thing.

Here it is:


I was living the life. I had a beautiful girlfriend whom I loved very much, a decent job, and plans to graduate from college after I got a degree in the fine arts and architecture. I had my own apartment and my own car. I wasn't rich or anything, but I was in good shape. Life was good.

My friends had been telling me about Halo Reach. I played some of the halo games before and they were alright. But I didn't really have time for video games anymore.

But after being pestered for so long to try Reach, I decided to give in. I borrowed a copy from one of my friends. The campaign was alright; It wasn't amazing, but I had fun. Multiplayer was alright too and I had fun playing matchmaking with my friends online. But then we played invasion and I enjoyed it a lot. I loved being on the elite team because the elites just kicked ass! Every time my friends got on, I would ask them to play invasion with me. That is all I wanted to play.

So after a few days of playing invasion, something weird started to happen. The grunting noises that the elites made when they rolled or sprinted, they began to appeal to me. They began to ....arouse me. I felt very uncomfortable about this because I was -blam!-ly attracted to my girlfriend. I did not want to think about elites like that, it was disturbing.

I began to have strange dreams about elites. I dreamt about the naked arbiter from halo 2. They disturbed me greatly and yet I just couldn't stop thinking about them! I tried to keep my mind off of it, I tried to think about my girlfriend in the nude, but my mind kept wondering back to the elites.

One day, when my girlfriend had to visit her family, I got on Halo Reach. The internet was down. so I thought I could mess around in forge or something. I still could not stop thinking about the elites and the grunting noises they made. Eventually, it became too much for me to resist.

I started up a custom game of slayer by myself and used the elite model. I set the sprint loadout to infinite use then I taped down the right bumper. My elite began to sprint across forge world and the grunting noises he made were so amazing!

I couldn't help but become aroused as images of male elites played in my mind as the growls emanated from the TV. So I closed my eyes , unzipped my pants and I began to pleasure myself. I began to imagine that I was being -blam!- in the ass by an elite. I hadn't been jerking off for 2 minutes when I came. It was fast! But afterwards, I felt so -blam!-...and so wrong.

A week had passed since my traumatic experience of jerking off to the sounds of an elite grunting. I could not get it out of my mind. My girlfriend was beginning to notice that something was wrong, as I was not up to my usual performance in bed. I told her that I was just thinking about work related problems.

Sadly, I found that I was no longer being aroused by my girlfriend. But I did not want to lose her, I still wanted to please her. So I imagined that I was making love to a male elite, that I was -blam!- the arbiter in the ass. This seemed to be working in the meantime, but it didn't last for long as it was a temporary solution.

When my girlfriend wasn't around, I'd jack off while thinking about the arbiter. Each time was more amazing than the last! But, it wasn't enough I wanted more. I wanted to FEEL the penetration. So I experimented with different things that could safely emulate the texture and shape of an elite -blam!-.

I tried many different objects: bananas, pears, the broken off handle of a swiffer mop, and cucumbers. I finally settled on cucumbers. It hurt at first, but I got used to it. My orgasms doubled in strength! I would turn on Halo Reach, go into a custom game, get the elite sprinting, lube up the cucumber with Vaseline, stick it in me, and then jerk off.

Eventually, the cucumbers got too expensive to buy and my girlfriend was getting suspicious about all the "rotten cucumbers" in the garbage can. So I had to find a more permanent solution. After some browsing online, I found a special toy store called PORNOGRAPHIC LINK REMOVED. It was a weird website that sold dragon dildos. I never knew that something like that even existed!

I was looking for something that could emulate an elite -blam!-, so I settled on something called the fusion, which was close enough. After making sure that the credit card statement would be discreet, I ordered it for over $100. It would take 2 months to arrive. Meanwhile, I had spent $120 on cucumbers and Vaseline.

When it finally arrived, I tried it out and it was amazing! The bumps tickled as they went in, the firmness was just perfect!I imagined an elite wang would feel just like this! My orgasms had tripled in strength! Sometimes I almost passed out from how intense they were! It was amazing! But...things went downhill.

I got fired from my job because my productivity went down. (I kept -blam!-ing while thinking about the arbiter instead of working). I started failing my classes because I would spend my time wanking instead of doing my homework.

One day, my girlfriend came home without me hearing her car pull in. I was too busy pleasuring myself with my new dildo. She must have heard my groans and my cries of "OH ARBITER!!!" emanating from my room, because she walked in on me just as I ejaculated all over The TV screen. She screamed as loud as she could and I jumped up. I can only imagine what the scene must have looked like to her as I jumped up, insanely feral look on my face, semen dripping from my dick, dildo up my ass, bottle of lube next to my chair, and elite grunting noises coming from the semen-coated TV.

My life has hit rock bottom. I have no girlfriend anymore, I only got a job at McDonald's, I had to sell my car to help pay for my rent. I am currently on Social Security and I had to drop out of college because I could no longer afford it.

This is how Halo Reach ruined my life.


Peace

[Beileiver]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

People post those emblems, but it's their right by American law, since they technically own the game they bought with their money.

So, let me reply to the OP.

1. No, obviously you haven't played the game. If anything, you looked at the cover and made some HUGE prejudice decision that isn't close to the awesomeness that is Halo.

2. No, you weren't "forced to play". Now, in the case you were, you were either:

a) Had some sort of lethal or great injury threatening you
b) Too wimpy to just tell your cousin, "No."

[Darshin]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

You complain that the cross is not an option as an emblem, but should one use the symbol of God's love and sacrifice to glorify themselves in online killing matches?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

I was blinded by my own idiocy

Realizing your limitations and that you will always disappoint God no matter how hard you try is an important first step to salvation!

God knows we will disappoint Him:

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God."

Romans 3:10 "There is none righteous; no, not one."

And that makes Him sad:

Ezekiel 33:11 "Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?"

[Microbrain]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

Grammar-picking a non-native English speaker's THREE AND A HALF YEAR OLD post? Just what are you trying to prove?

Shame. It seemed I missed the timestamp as I was blinded by my own idiocy.

[Didymus Much]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

a* pm button.

Grammar-picking a non-native English speaker's THREE AND A HALF YEAR OLD post? Just what are you trying to prove?

[Microbrain]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

God provided me an pm button

a* pm button.

[DaveTheGamer]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

Have you read their posts about proof of god yet?
Apparently flipping a coin and drowning by your own stupidity is a sign of god. Not the common sense of the hired lifeguard/help.

There's probably more fanaticism here then in the small small, extremely small amounts of extreme mulsims out there.

Wouldn't be surprised if this people actually tries to create an army of God to hunt down every last non-believer in this world.
Similar to Spacemarines in Warhammer 40k.
"Burn the Heretic!
Kill the Mutant!
Purge the Unclean!"

I'm personally more of a Khorne or Nurgle fan. But heck. What ever floats your boat.

[hudson_albornoz]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

Oh, yeah? I know for a FACT that humans are not native to Costa Rica. Where did your ancestors migrate from? MEXICO?

Also, I was referring to the other Know-it-all poster, Rawrman, who thinks ALL languages were created equal.

Get a clue!!

No You get a clue, Rawrman is right and you are wrong, All of you are wrong.
How do you know this is gods favorite church, huh? Has God created and account on your online site... if he even does exist. You dumb people call me a troll or a demon possessed person, but is there any proof of god's existance that might have not been framed?

[superLug]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

Not as far off as you. You're so far off you can't even get back on the map.

True, true.......

[Nobar King]

Re: HALO III: Recruiting Muslims and pagans

Not as far off as you. You're so far off you can't even get back on the map.