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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552
    #1

    The Latest on The War on The Big Gay Agenda

    The DOF (Department of Faith) always keeps me informed on the latetest tactics in the War on Homersexurality. I have decided, given the imminent election of Donald Trump to the Presidency of the USA, that I should pass them on to you, once they are unclassified.

    I want to warn all True Christians(tm) to stay clear of fire ants.

    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
    • Alvin Moss
      Serving Jesus
      True Christian™
      • Aug 2013
      • 4468
      #2
      Re: The Latest on The War on The Big Gay Agenda

      There are plenty of fire ants in my vicinity. They came here illegally from the Mexican country of Brazil. In these parts, they have taken all the jobs formerly done by American ants, except for the getting into the sugar. That is still done by those little black ants, but I digress. Fire ants both bite and sting and they hurt. I can attest to that. If they have been co-opted by the homosexuals, they might cause a lot of trouble.
      God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

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        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23768
          #3
          Re: The Latest on The War on The Big Gay Agenda

          I spray DDT liberally around my home and the parameters of the windows and doors of my children's bedroom. Those Sodomites won't take my children! Christ claims dibs on their souls the very moment they are conceived, and I'll be darned if I let scroungy little bugs penetrate my Fortress of Blessings!
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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