Anointed cakes

[Jim Farmer]

Q. How do we convert all gays to straight in a matter of weeks and at the same time fund Pastor Zeke's aircraft?
A. Sell anointed cakes to all the queers.
Ladies, get busy baking.
And pastors, get ready to anoint these cakes.


Lance Wallnau has proven that if gays eat anointed cakes, they are instantly find God and become straight.

A conservative preacher and vocal supporter of President Donald Trump shared claims an “anointed” cake “saved” a gay bartender.
Lance Wallnau was answering a question via a Periscope session from a viewer who wanted to stop her son from being gay.



In response, he shared the story of “hookers” who got “saved” and wanted to help a bar owner “who was gay and very adamantly anti-Christian.”
So they baked him a cake and prayed over it, he said.



“It was an anointed cake,” Wallnau said. “The power of God hit him while he was eating the cake.”
Wallnau claimed the bar owner felt “the presence of God” while eating the cake and underwent some kind of transformation and was eventually baptized.



“The spirit that was working him got broken off,” he said. “I’m telling you, it’s a story.”
He’s not sure if a magical cake will “save” others, he added. He also did not mention the flavor of the cake.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Anointed cakes

Q. How do we convert all gays to straight in a matter of weeks and at the same time fund Pastor Zeke's aircraft?
A. Sell anointed cakes to all the queers.
Ladies, get busy baking.
And pastors, get ready to anoint these cakes.

Lance Wallnau has proven that if gays eat anointed cakes, they are instantly find God and become straight.

...He also did not mention the flavor of the cake.

Brother Jim,

This is excellent news. By conducting an instant research project in Creation Science I was able to determine the flavor. It has to be the flavor of figs.



In addition, it might be of importance to serve this dish on a suitable surface.

1 Samuel 25:18
Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses.

Abigail became the wife of Godly King David who definitely was not gay, so this must have worked.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Anointed cakes

I've just got in some flour and other ingredients. I'm doing some little butterfly cakes but to my chagrin have noticed the jelly is BRIGHT BLUE.

Will these be suitable or I could make some yeast buns.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Anointed cakes

Brother Jim,

This is excellent news. By conducting an instant research project in Creation Science I was able to determine the flavor. It has to be the flavor of figs.



In addition, it might be of importance to serve this dish on a suitable surface.

1 Samuel 25:18
Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses.

Abigail became the wife of Godly King David who definitely was not gay, so this must have worked.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

I was thinking of any cake except for this one:

But I think that as usual, Brother Elmer, you may have hit the nail on the head.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Anointed cakes

I was thinking of any cake except for this one:

But I think that as usual, Brother Elmer, you may have hit the nail on the head.

Dear Brother, I totally agree. My post-menopausal spouse (praise Jesus!) only makes that colorful cake on the days when we gather in remembrance of Noah's Flood!

Genesis 9:16
And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.

I'm also expecting to be served That cake by Jesus (Revelation 7:17) after the Glorious Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:17) while looking at the sinners writhe in the agony of Tribulations on the last remains of the Earth before Jesus comes for the second time.

Revelation 10:1
And I saw another mighty angel come down from heaven, clothed with a cloud: and a rainbow was upon his head, and his face was as it were the sun, and his feet as pillars of fire:



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Anointed cakes

I'll make sure to bake some cakes -- a good white cake will remind the world of the beauty and purity of being a Christian. Naomi, sweet sister, would you bake some? You are such a wonderful baker and this would be just another jewel in your heavenly crown.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Anointed cakes

I'll make sure to bake some cakes -- a good white cake will remind the world of the beauty and purity of being a Christian. Naomi, sweet sister, would you bake some? You are such a wonderful baker and this would be just another jewel in your heavenly crown.

I have a marvelous idea: why not fly to Dallas and we'll bake together in my professionally appointed and spiritually anointed kitchen/studio? Maybe you can even be a guest on my new cooking show! Oh, darling I hope you will consider this. If you need financial assistance to get here, just let me know. What day would be best for you? I'm able to rearrange schedules until the Thursday before Easter, which is the women's conference.


Your most loving sister in Him,
NRL

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Anointed cakes

Dear Brother, I totally agree. My post-menopausal spouse (praise Jesus!) only makes that colorful cake on the days when we gather in remembrance of Noah's Flood!

Genesis 9:16
And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.

I'm also expecting to be served That cake by Jesus (Revelation 7:17) after the Glorious Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:17) while looking at the sinners writhe in the agony of Tribulations on the last remains of the Earth before Jesus comes for the second time.

Revelation 10:1
And I saw another mighty angel come down from heaven, clothed with a cloud: and a rainbow was upon his head, and his face was as it were the sun, and his feet as pillars of fire:



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Oh Brother Elmer,
To the wise in Jesus, this post speaks volumes about you, doesn't it?
May all the colors of the rainbow glorify our God and continue to spread your message.
I'll say no more, except isn't Jesus fabulous?
Prayerfully,
NRL

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Anointed cakes

I have a marvelous idea: why not fly to Dallas and we'll bake together in my professionally appointed and spiritually anointed kitchen/studio? Maybe you can even be a guest on my new cooking show! Oh, darling I hope you will consider this. If you need financial assistance to get here, just let me know. What day would be best for you? I'm able to rearrange schedules until the Thursday before Easter, which is the women's conference.


Your most loving sister in Him,
NRL

Hi dearest Sister, my father gave permission so I'll be free any time that works for you starting next week; I'll bring my limousine and chauffeur if that's ok with you. Wouldn't that be wonderful to evangelize the masses and live out Mark 16:15 while enjoying ourselves in a Christian fashion!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Anointed cakes

Hi dearest Sister, my father gave permission so I'll be free any time that works for you starting next week; I'll bring my limousine and chauffeur if that's ok with you. Wouldn't that be wonderful to evangelize the masses and live out Mark 16:15 while enjoying ourselves in a Christian fashion!

My Darling Elizabeth, Fair Sister in Christ,


My heart leapt as I read your message. Please know that any day of your choice is fine. And of course you may bring your limo. Say, I was wondering about asking Sister Kate to join us since her husband is going to South America with his friends. Would you mind? I have scads of room. Shall I plan for accommodations for your chauffeur? I'm simply longing to see you soon! Please call so I'll know when to expect you; I've sent you the number by PM.


In Anticipation,
NRL