McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

[JennyD]

GLORIOUS NEWS!

In this world of ever-increasing depravity, there's a glimmer of hope.

The Christian boycott of McDonald's (supported by both Landover Baptist Church and the Paliban in conjunction with the American Family Association) IS A SUCCESS!

Today, the AFA posted this joint press release:

October 9, 2008

McDonald's has told us they will remain neutral in the culture war regarding homosexual marriage. We are ending the boycott of McDonald's. As you know, LBC and AFA called for the boycott in May after McDonald's joined the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). Other organizations, such as the Paliban and the Christian Coalition, joined later.

McDonald's said McDonald's Vice President Richard Ellis has resigned his position on the board of NGLCC and that his seat on the board will not be replaced. McDonald's also said that the company has no plans to renew their membership in NGLCC when it expires in December.

In an e-mail to McDonald's franchised owners the company said, "It is our policy to not be involved in political and social issues. McDonald's remains neutral on same sex marriage or any 'homosexual agenda' as defined by the American Family Association, the Paliban, and Landover Baptist Church."

We appreciate the decision by McDonald's to no longer support political activity by homosexual activist organizations. You might want to thank your local McDonald's manager.

Please join me in praising the Lord for helping McDonald's to see the Light!

[Nobar King]

Re: McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

That's excellent news. I may go to McD's today and enjoy a couple of double cheeseburgers off the dollar menu. Did you know that you can get the lettuce and tomato for free, and the sauce, and it's almost like a big mac?

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

Thank God I spearheaded the boycott back in April. Look here. AFA couldn't have done squat without Landover, or, more specifically, me.

This is a victory, but I want to stress that the boycott is NOT over. AFA is satisfied, but Landover is not. McDonald's still wants to turn our children queer. Here's the evidence:



Mayor McCheese has a girlish walk, wears a purple coat, and sports a sash and pince-nez eyeglasses. A sash and pince-nez eyeglasses, people.



Officer Big Mac spends a majority of his time chasing Hamburglar and Captain Crook (mentioned below). That's gay. He also struts around in leather boots and dainty white gloves. That's Liberace gay.

Both of these characters have highly-suggestive, hamburger-shaped heads. Hamburger meat stuffed into a pair of buns screams sodomy.



The "golden arches" resemble buttocks--clearly an endorsement of sodomy. "I'm lovin' it," indeed. It makes me sick to my righteous stomach.

Then there's the oft-forgotten Captain Crook. Here he is adorning a glass next to the bloated, purple tallywacker known as Grimace.



Let's look up the definition of "crook":

NOUN
One who makes a living by dishonest methods.

VERB
To bend.

No doubt McDonald's had the verb in mind.



Here is the twinkle-toed pirate again, this time gracing a Frisbee*. He is just about ready to depart on a gay cruise with the Fry Guys.

Until they replace the golden buttocks and use wholesome, Christian mascots in their advertising, you should not step foot in any of their restaurants (that doesn't mean you can circumvent the boycott by using the drive-through, Sister Victory).


*Frisbees are plastic discs that homosexuals enjoying throwing at one another at beaches and parks.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

Amen Brother!! And let's not forget the Ronald McDonald/Mario sodomy tag team!!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

BEWARE of the Hamburglar!

He is out to burgle your anal virginity!!!!!!!! If you see him call Bobby-Joe or security IMMEDIATELY!

[SUV]

Re: McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

I'll Believe it when they start wishing us a "Merry Christmas!" like Godly Walmart now does.
(Well, in December, anyway.)

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

As always, Mr. Hatchet is exactly right. Promising to "remain neutral" isn't much of a victory.

Matt 12:30 He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

They haven't come to Jesus' side yet, so they are still on the side of Satan.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

McDonalds has been putting meat between buns for so long that they can no longer recognize sodomy.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: McDonald's Kicks Queers to the Curb!

And now they serve salads. How gay is that! And they are foreign gay salads to boot!

McDonald's USA-Premium Asian Salad with Crispy Chicken

The queer chinks are trying to convert you! Just look at the ingredients!

Mandarin oranges - What's wrong with American oranges?

Edamame - Their called soybeans in the USA dammit! But they're still as queer as a three dollar bill!

parella, lolla rosa, tango, totsoi, arugula, mizuna, frisee, and radicchio - And this crap! I don't even know what this stuff is, but I bet faggots love it!


McDonald's USA-Premium Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken

The Homo Mexicants are at it too! They want to have a fiesta with your backside!

Cilantro Lime Glaze - That is the gayest sounding food I've ever heard of!

Chili Lime Tortilla Strips - I stand corrected!

parella, lolla rosa, tango, totsoi, arugula, mizuna, frisee, and radicchio - Same weird faggot crap as above!

Until McDonalds stops attempting to convert me to homerism, I'll be getting my burgers at God's Favorite Restaurant, Applebees!