Save me!

[AXavierB]

I am new here, and I have been tempted towards the sin of homersexuality since a very young age. I know that this is an abomination and that as a filthy sodomite, I shall burn for eternity in hell.

So I ask all of you to lend me your prayers and cast this evil, vile demon out of me. Along with it, I need exorcism of the demons of polyester, shellfish and crop rotation.

PRAISE BE TO THE LORD.

[Billy Ram]

Re: Save me!

I am new here, and I have been tempted towards the sin of homersexuality since a very young age. I know that this is an abomination and that as a filthy sodomite, I shall burn for eternity in hell.

So I ask all of you to lend me your prayers and cast this evil, vile demon out of me. Along with it, I need exorcism of the demons of polyester, shellfish and crop rotation.

PRAISE BE TO THE LORD.

Hate to break it to you but Homo Lust is a sign that God has rejected you.Enjoy hell.With love.Billy.

[Nobar King]

Re: Save me!

I have to give you credit for posting in the right forum. Tell us more.

[Bob4God]

Re: Save me!

Somewhere in your life satan got a hold of you and convinced you that you were a gay. Perhaps he has tempted you in the school locker rooms, or while you were watching sports on TV.

Regardless on when the devil started pounding you with homosexual temptations, the thing to do is to get down on your knees and invite JESUS into your heart immediately!

Tell Him that you are a disgusting sinner worthy of nothing more than eternal damnation in the Lake of Fire He has crafted for all who reject His love. Tell Him you do not want to be a dirty homo and that you are willing to give up this vile lifestyle in order to be pure and receive everlasting life!

Once you've give your heart to CHRIST, start going through your house and throwing out ANYTHING that will lead you back into temptation. Start with long cylindrical things like pencils, carrots, zucchini, hot dogs, baseball bats, straws, just anything that you might be tempted to sodomize yourself with, or would even remind you of the pendulous male genitals for which you crave.

I will pray for you!

[AXavierB]

Re: Save me!

I have to give you credit for posting in the right forum. Tell us more.

The enemy began trying to sway me with these vile, nasty thoughts when I was a preteen.

I am indeed willing to embrace the love of God, for I am a terrible sinner worthy of nothing but suffering and damnation.

Thank you for your prayers.

[Nobar King]

Re: Save me!

This is your introduction thread, Dr. X. Keep going. We want to know all of your dirty secrets.

[AXavierB]

Re: Save me!

Dr. X? And X-Men reference? Brother Nobar, the X-Men are demonic figures put in the media to entice our children toward the sin of genetic engineering. Allowing our children to think such things are possible could open the doorways to turning them into EVILutionists.

[Nobar King]

Re: Save me!

He's just a cartoon character. I was joking with you, as I suspected that you were joking with us. That's a style of writing called sarcasm. I'm sure you're familiar with it.

Since this is your introduction forum, I'll get out of the way and give you the floor. What else do you want to confess to tonight?

[AXavierB]

Re: Save me!

I was joking too, I thought it was obvious. Then again, I've never been good at using sarcasm.

But no, no other confessions than that, to be honest. This awful homersexual perversion is really the only thing I feel causes me to fall short of True Christianity.

[Nobar King]

Re: Save me!

Please, tell us more. What things have you done to help gratify your sexual perversion?

[AXavierB]

Re: Save me!

The deadly sins of pr0n and masturbation have infested my life like a virus. The unsaved around me insist these things are normal, but being worldly like them only serves to further ruin my sense of salvation.

[Nobar King]

Re: Save me!

You're not giving us very much to go on here, AXa. You need to be more specific.

[AXavierB]

Re: Save me!

How exactly can I do that? Those things seem pretty self-explanatory.

[Nobar King]

Re: Save me!

Look, AXa, this is YOUR introduction thread. Are you going to introduce yourself, or not?

[AXavierB]

Re: Save me!

Well, sure. If you want more specifics, I'll start by saying that I've been Christian all my life. My family are mostly True Christians, except a select few who are inevitably damned to hell.

I started having these perverse feelings when I was younger. Seeking to gratify them I turned to the horrible disease known as internet pornography. I knew this was especially abominable to God, so I tried to repent. Unfortunately, this did nothing to purge me of all these evil spirits.

If all else fail, I'd planned to go have myself stoned if I could find anyone willing. But hopefully these demons can be exorcised eventually. Perhaps this affliction has something to do with the fact that I haven't been baptized, because my parents didn't care about my salvation.

There, I've been introduced.