Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

[Poetic Peter]

This is a thread for aversion training

We will install photographs of utterly handsome Christian Men,
describe them a bit,
and then note that if you make a pass at them,
they will drop you dead, you homers,

dead.


Yes they will. God says so!

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

To kick it off from my vantagepoint, what better way than with an ex-gay's
file photo:


plus! for no charge, this poet offers custom-crapped
averse:

"My name is Ted, and I'm not gay.
If you touch me anyway,
I'll meth your head and stone your ass,
but, please go on, and make that pass!




Here I am reformed today,

Handsome, Het'ro, Male-as-May"

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

Attention coffee-lovin' homer "boiz",

This is

God's Own Nigra Great Big Tim

Note the muscles He gave him.
Note the velvet dusky flesh?
Note he dunkz big balls the best.

Note if you came onto Tim
He'd hash your head right through the rim.

We don't advise to tempt the guy.
Hard's a stare with a squint eye:

"Well, you know, I hate gay people.
I let it be known I don’t like gay people.
I don’t like to be around gay people.
I’m homophobic.
It shouldn’t be in the world, in the United States,
I don’t like it."

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

I was thinking about that wholesome red blooded American boy, Eminem (not to be confused with Sister M&M). Anyway, I was so proud of his un-gay lyrics . . . especially when he promised to beat up the New Kids on the Block. Hopefully, my son Skeeter and Eminem can get together some day and do some homer bashing for Jesus!

[Talitha]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

Mother Glendora, a question if I may please?

I am hoping this whigger emineminem fellow hasn't got both his hands on his Choo-Choo?
He may BASH for Jesus but perhaps he's not a good role model for Skeeter?

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

I say this with an unblemished record of heterosexuality, that if I could look like any man, it would be Oliver North.

[Talitha]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

I say this with an unblemished record of heterosexuality, that if I could look like any man, it would be Oliver North.

You were testing us there weren't you Brother?
I think that's really a picture of you not many years ago!

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

Mother Glendora, a question if I may please?

I am hoping this whigger emineminem fellow hasn't got both his hands on his Choo-Choo?
He may BASH for Jesus but perhaps he's not a good role model for Skeeter?

Oh, Sister Talitha! I had assumed that Eminem was proteting his wedding tackle from the evil stares of homers. But he might be Mming right in front of the camera

[Larry Lee]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

To kick it off from my vantagepoint, what better way than with an ex-gay's
file photo:

"My name is Ted, and I'm not gay.

It's good of you, PP, to highlight one of the most heterosexual men in all of American Christianity, but unfortunately, despite Brother Ted's incessant rutting – nowadays – after females of ALL ages, ALL races and ALL free-market-affirming backgrounds, his former Church has abandoned him. They couldn't care less that he's been washed anew in menstrual blood, so to speak – and they're laying off massive numbers of staff, to staunch the deficits that result when your founder and spiritual leader confesses to taking it up the ark. We all need to pray for Brother Ted, that he might pull off a David Letterman and sire an heir, despite the troubling side effects from that medicine he's forced to take to control his high blood pressure.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/03/04/church-hit-by-haggard-sex_n_42601.html

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

It's good of you, PP, to highlight one of the most heterosexual men in all of American Christianity, but unfortunately, despite Brother Ted's incessant rutting – nowadays – after females of ALL ages, ALL races and ALL free-market-affirming backgrounds, his former Church has abandoned him. They couldn't care less that he's been washed anew in menstrual blood, so to speak – and they're laying off massive numbers of staff, to staunch the deficits that result when your founder and spiritual leader confesses to taking it up the ark. We all need to pray for Brother Ted, that he might pull off a David Letterman and sire an heir, despite the troubling side effects from that medicine he's forced to take to control his high blood pressure.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/0...x_n_42601.html

Brother Larry, I am sure that a great deal of Jesus' money had to go to the intensive training that he endured. Those gay-reform camps cost money! What are 30-50 "employees" (and, in all likelihood they were just Mexican janitors who vacuumed up after their services were over) compared to the ministry great Rev. Ted Haggard who has proved once and for all, that homosexuality is a choice, just like drug addiction!

[Larry Lee]

Re: Drop Dead Gorgeous Christian Males

You people should be ashamed of yourselves for not IMMEDIATELY posting an image of our savior:

P.S. That's our Godly President, if you're were having a bit of difficulty -- as I did at first -- in placing the face.