[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

Pastor Ezekiel

Your sacrifices know no bounds. I am in the process of writing out my monthly bills and included in with my regular tithe check I put in a second check,something extra just for you. I have recently read that you were looking to purchase your ''Miss Daisy'' something in ''diamonds'' for the Stoning Festival this year. Well I figured i can do without those new glasses and my roof isn't leaking too bad yet so I sent you that $2164 I had saved up. I hope you are able to buy her the biggest diamond she ever saw and she will wear it forever. Bless you Pastor Zeke!

Thanks, pal.

My fiancee isn't going to wear it. She wants diamonds to throw. For stoning sinners. Your 2 grand will give her great pleasure for a few seconds one day, so thanks.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

Pastor Ezekiel

Your sacrifices know no bounds. I am in the process of writing out my monthly bills and included in with my regular tithe check I put in a second check,something extra just for you. I have recently read that you were looking to purchase your ''Miss Daisy'' something in ''diamonds'' for the Stoning Festival this year. Well I figured i can do without those new glasses and my roof isn't leaking too bad yet so I sent you that $2164 I had saved up. I hope you are able to buy her the biggest diamond she ever saw and she will wear it forever. Bless you Pastor Zeke!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

As part of my duties as a True Christian(tm) Pastor here at Landover Baptist Church, I have spent hundreds if not thousands of hours researching this subject. I can't even begin to count the number of times that Rev. Jim and I have sat up in my pastoral study and watched filthy, disgusting lesbian porno films into the wee hours, all in the name of Jesus. I can't even venture a guess as to how many young, nubile lesbian couples we've hired off of such sites as "Craig's List" to come to my estate to perform for Rev. Jim and I, all the better to protect the congregation from rampant lesbianism, in Jesus' Name.

The stench! The stains! The language! The abominations we endure, all in the carrying out of our Pastoral duties! You people have no idea.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

I must say that this thread is a real eye opener

I always thought that lesbians became lesbians because they hated sex. They wanted the "relationship" without all the dirty sex stuff.

Oh no. Lesbians are all sexual predators actually.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

I must say that this thread is a real eye opener

I always thought that lesbians became lesbians because they hated sex. They wanted the "relationship" without all the dirty sex stuff.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

I am heading to my prayer closet as you speak, prayer, a long slow incantation to God, is what is called for after hearing a story like that.

Brother, if you are going to be in there for a while, perhaps some lubrication may be in order. I have at times been in there for so long, that certain parts.. like my knees and hands...for example.. become a little dry. I have found taking a small jar of petroleum jelly in (or something like that) with me helps. That way you can enjoy a long hard slogging session of prayer without distraction.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

Several years ago, I witnessed my nieces, Tammi and Mandi engaged in lesbian activities several times. A few times they were in the pool during late October, steam rising from the heated water. I noticed their skin reacting (making goose pimple and stiffening) to the cool air when Tammi held Mandi. Another time, I caught them in the shower. Why even at Rev. Osborne's party last spring, both the Rev. and I caught them 'going at it'. Rev. Osborne took Mandi aside for a gratis one-on-one all night prayer session that only yielded a rash on Mandi's knees and an exhausted Rev. Osborne. I myself have attempted to pound the love of God into Tammi on many occasions but she she still has lesbian tendencies. Perhaps she will grow out of it. I'll have to keep an eye on them.

I am heading to my prayer closet as you speak, prayer, a long slow incantation to God, is what is called for after hearing a story like that.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

Having never witnessed this behavior myself I will defer to your extensive experience.

From now on I will do background checks on all the women in my wife Ethel's sewing circle.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

Several years ago, I witnessed my nieces, Tammi and Mandi engaged in lesbian activities several times. A few times they were in the pool during late October, steam rising from the heated water. I noticed their skin reacting (making goose pimple and stiffening) to the cool air when Tammi held Mandi. Another time, I caught them in the shower. Why even at Rev. Osborne's party last spring, both the Rev. and I caught them 'going at it'. Rev. Osborne took Mandi aside for a gratis one-on-one all night prayer session that only yielded a rash on Mandi's knees and an exhausted Rev. Osborne. I myself have attempted to pound the love of God into Tammi on many occasions but she she still has lesbian tendencies. Perhaps she will grow out of it. I'll have to keep an eye on them.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

There is nothing more revolting than a bunch of otherwise attractive women together, naked, seeking to pleasure one another sexually.

Having never witnessed this behavior myself I will defer to your extensive experience.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

There is nothing more revolting than a bunch of otherwise attractive women together, naked, seeking to pleasure one another sexually.

[HTannor]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

I believe Reverend Jim is coming Down Under very soon so maybe I could somehow get these DVD's to him for safe and secure passage to your good self or indeed Sister Talitha who is also trying to help me cleanse my horrid past

Excellent idea, Brother Swish.

However, Rev. Jim's time will be best spent in ministering to the heathen's while there, so I suggest you carefully seal up the package so Jim doesn't waste his precious time in a needless diversion to his Godly Mission(tm). You can give the package to his Gulf Stream pilot so it can be locked into the plane's wall safe.

We will provide Rev. Jim with a thorough briefing after we review the material upon its arrival back here.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

Is there nothing that the LBC cant do??

This type of dedication, planning and efficiency ensures that True Christians™ are the only ones that will keep Satan at bay until Armageddon and ensure the path to eternal salvation

I would never think to speak for the Reverend but I would wager that he would be willing to minister to your wife and her friends if you only ask him.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

It is our Christian Pleasure

By the way, we provide a FreePost address for such emergencies.

Is there nothing that the LBC cant do??

This type of dedication, planning and efficiency ensures that True Christians(tm) are the only ones that will keep Satan at bay until Armageddon and ensure the path to eternal salvation

[Talitha]

Re: I HATE LESBIANS!

Brother HTannor / Sister Talitha

Just a thought.....

I will have to figure out a way in which to get this evil filth to you in the US for its secure destruction via you new patented technology

Obviously this is fraught with both expense and many security concerns

I believe Reverend Jim is coming Down Under very soon so maybe I could somehow get these DVD's to him for safe and secure passage to your good self or indeed Sister Talitha who is also trying to help me cleanse my horrid past

Would this be an unfair impost on Reverend Jim's valuable time and indeed am I yet even worthy enough to actually speak to Reverend Jim?

BTW - I would like to thank you both and Mrs Rogers for your counsel and support - Never before in my life have I encountered such an unselfish willingness to help - Praise you all and Jesus

It is our Christian Pleasure

By the way, we provide a FreePost address for such emergencies.