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  • Repentant James
    Unsaved trash
     
    • Nov 2010
    • 26

    #1

    How should an ex-gay be punished?

    Landover, I have a problem I need your guidance with.

    I decided to stop being a homer three years ago and I turned my life to Jesus. However, we all know the Bible demands that homosexuals be put to death and there isn't a statute of limitations to Gods law. My Christian duty would be to turn myself in to the authorities to be executed, but none of these evil secular judges think homosexuality should be a crime. I can't execute myself because suicide is a sin as well.

    So now I have to ask Landover what I should do: I stopped being a homer, but am I supposed to be punished for my sinful past? And if I am supposed to be punished, how do I do it?
  • Billy Bob Jenkins
    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
    Hates anal sex. And trees.
    True Christian™
    • May 2010
    • 8337

    #2
    Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

    Originally posted by Repentant James View Post
    Landover, I have a problem I need your guidance with.

    I decided to stop being a homer three years ago and I turned my life to Jesus. However, we all know the Bible demands that homosexuals be put to death and there isn't a statute of limitations to Gods law. My Christian duty would be to turn myself in to the authorities to be executed, but none of these evil secular judges think homosexuality should be a crime. I can't execute myself because suicide is a sin as well.

    So now I have to ask Landover what I should do: I stopped being a homer, but am I supposed to be punished for my sinful past? And if I am supposed to be punished, how do I do it?
    Unfortunately, James, I'm afraid you will just have to live with yourself. These are dark times.

    I only ask that you conceal the truth about your past, so as to not give others the impression that they can get away with being a homer.

    Once we establish a theocracy in America (you are an American at least, aren't you, James?) then we will be able to stone you. I urge you to vote Republican to hasten the approach of this proud and inevitable day. Glory!

    Have I answered your question satisfactorily?
    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

    Comment

    • ExGay Alex
      Helping boys become upright model citizens
      True Christian™
      • May 2008
      • 1295

      #3
      Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

      If you cast out the demons of homosexuality in Jesus's name, you can still get salvation. Acts 2:38.

      Of course, from this moment on you must obey God's law. You cannot lie with another man or even think about it.
      "Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).

      Comment

      • BelieverInGod
        Fourm Member
        Forum Member
        • Feb 2010
        • 9269

        #4
        Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

        Did you go through an ex-gay ministry?
        Drama queen

        Comment

        • despising david
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 144

          #5
          Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

          You can atone for your sins if your homosexual demons are cast out of you and you adamantly persist with the teachings of Christ for the rest of your days. Just remember that if you haven't already had your demons exiled from your body that it will take some force from a strong Christian hand. I would recommend finding a Gym that is owned and operated by True Christians, there are a few that I know of that would be able to achieve the act of re-establishing yourself to the lord.
          Deuteronomy 6:5
          Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

          Comment

          • Repentant James
            Unsaved trash
             
            • Nov 2010
            • 26

            #6
            Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

            Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
            Did you go through an ex-gay ministry?
            Yes! Godly Betty Bowers and her BASH program saved me from evil homosexuality!

            I was raised in a Catholic house, which is probably how the demons found their way to me. I was probably molested by a priest but I just don't remember it. When I was 18 I started having sinful relations with other men. I didn't think there was anything I could do about it and that I was doomed to be a homer whether I wanted to or not.

            Then I found this and this and realized the sinful lifestyle I was involved in. I knew then that I had a choice and I didn't want to be gay.

            Upon reading the Bible, I realized God wanted to punish me for my homersexual lifestyle so I attempted to find Godly Christians to punish me. Unfortunately, our liberal police and courts don't think homosexualit should be a sin and the churches I asked about this wouldn't say any punishment was necessary. But I still had to be saved.

            That's when I got into Betty Bowers BASH program and found my way to true heterosexuality and Jesus. The program is about a full lifestyle change! I used to be a vegitarian but now I know eatting red meat keeps the homer demons away so I have a serving of beef with every meal. I found out I needed to stop doing work in creative fields like as a hair stylist or as an interior designer and do good blue collared work, so I gave up my hair salon and became an auto mechanic. I stopped drinking fruit juices and started drinking beer. I stopped watching shows like Dancing With the Stars and now only use my television to watch sports and Fox News (Fox News is still a bit too liberal for my tastes, though).

            And God has fully appreciated how I've turned my life around for him! I used to be infected with the AIDS but now that I've repented, Jesus has found it fit to cure me! Praise!

            This is to the other homers out there: You can be saved, too! Don't believe the liars who say you can't! You don't want them to lead you to an eternity of hellfire!

            Comment

            • HTannor
              America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2009
              • 2612

              #7
              Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

              Originally posted by Repentant James View Post
              Landover, I have a problem I need your guidance with.

              I decided to stop being a homer three years ago and I turned my life to Jesus..........
              At this point you are Unsaved Trash and we have only your words to judge by.

              Please provide evidence of the depths of depravity you fell into. Photos or videos of your actions will allow us to judge just how bad and rotten you were in those earlier days.

              Only then can the Reverends and Pastors outline the proper forms of punishment that should be inflicted upon you.
              The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

              "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

              Comment

              • MitzaLizalor
                Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2010
                • 14270

                #8
                Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

                When you were in the Sol Invictus cult, did you ever join Opus Dei?

                Comment

                • BelieverInGod
                  Fourm Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 9269

                  #9
                  Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

                  Why would an ex-gay need to be punished?

                  If you've left the sinful lifestyle behind and turned your life over to Christ, then that's it.
                  Drama queen

                  Comment

                  • Rev. M. Rodimer
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Forum Member
                    • May 2008
                    • 13996

                    #10
                    Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

                    Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                    Why would an ex-gay need to be punished?

                    If you've left the sinful lifestyle behind and turned your life over to Christ, then that's it.
                    Well said, Sister!
                    Bible boring? Nonsense!
                    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment

                    • Lonwol
                      Unsaved trash
                      • Dec 2010
                      • 2

                      #11
                      Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

                      Originally posted by Repentant James View Post
                      Landover, I have a problem I need your guidance with.

                      I decided to stop being a homer three years ago and I turned my life to Jesus. However, we all know the Bible demands that homosexuals be put to death and there isn't a statute of limitations to Gods law. My Christian duty would be to turn myself in to the authorities to be executed, but none of these evil secular judges think homosexuality should be a crime. I can't execute myself because suicide is a sin as well.

                      So now I have to ask Landover what I should do: I stopped being a homer, but am I supposed to be punished for my sinful past? And if I am supposed to be punished, how do I do it?
                      James, do not listen to these oblivious, and blind bastards.
                      Jesus will always forgive you. He died on the cross to forgive our sins.
                      Be a republican... Just not a baptist republican.

                      Comment

                      • Rev. M. Rodimer
                        Honorary True Christian™
                        Forum Member
                        • May 2008
                        • 13996

                        #12
                        Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

                        Originally posted by Lonwol View Post
                        James, do not listen to these oblivious, and blind bastards.
                        Jesus will always forgive you. He died on the cross to forgive our sins.
                        I will give you the benefit of the doubt and not assume that you are intentionally lying to James in an attempt to lead him into Hellfire.

                        Tell me, what makes you think Jesus will continue to forgive your sins if you keep sinning?
                        1 John 3:6

                        6 Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
                        If you keep sinning, you are not saved. Jesus will turn you away, and cast you into eternal torture in His Lake of Fire.
                        Matthew 7:21-23

                        21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

                        22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

                        23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
                        Bible boring? Nonsense!
                        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment

                        • Levi Jones
                          Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                          Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                          Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                           
                          • Jul 2009
                          • 13930

                          #13
                          Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

                          Originally posted by Lonwol View Post
                          James, do not listen to these oblivious, and blind bastards.
                          Jesus will always forgive you. He died on the cross to forgive our sins.
                          Of course He did, but only for those who believe and do what the Bible says to.

                          How are we blind? And we are not bastards neither metaphorically in a

                          Hebrews 12:5-8 way.

                          5And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
                          6For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
                          7If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
                          8But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

                          Or in a literal way. As in Deuteronomy 23:1-2

                          1He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
                          2A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

                          God hates liars, son.

                          Proverbs 6:16-19 16These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
                          17A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
                          18An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
                          19A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
                          Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                          Comment

                          • TC Patriot
                            AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
                            True Christian™
                            • Oct 2008
                            • 1060

                            #14
                            Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

                            If your eye or hand cause you to sin, cut if off, pluck it out.
                            "If thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." Matt 5:29- 30

                            Clearly you have looked at men with lust so for starts you should pluck out your eyes and then cut off your tallywacker. If you don't you will be riding Satan's pitchfork for all eternity.

                            Jesus loves Dick



                            Cheney/Palin 2012

                            Comment

                            • MitzaLizalor
                              Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2010
                              • 14270

                              #15
                              Re: How should an ex-gay be punished?

                              @Repentant James . Acts 2:28 . I have also found helpful

                              @Lonwol –> Matthew 12:32

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