Keep Your Backs to the Wall, Brothers and Sisters

[HTannor]

This weekend is one soaked in homerism.

All the queers are observing Gay Fag Pride Weekend today and tomorrow.

Beware, Brothers and Sisters, should you venture forth this weekend you are in danger of being attacked and violated by roaming bands of queers and lezbos.

Brothers, protect your butts by staying in your cars when you have to travel somewhere. When you have to leave your car, keep your back covered by sliding along walls, leaning up against telephone poles, and finding park benches to sit on.

Sisters, protect your cooters by stuffing a telephone book into the bottoms of your lady undergarments, wrapping your legs around light poles, and carrying pepper spray to shoot at those herds of bull dykes approaching you.

"Be Prepared and Be Spared" is my watchword.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Keep Your Backs to the Wall, Brothers and Sisters

Actually, keeping your back to the wall is good advice for any time. It means that people won't be tempted to stare at your bottom, and commit adultry (and worse) in their hearts (Matthew 5:28).

"Point your butt somewhere else" should be as deeply enshrined in the rules of etiquette as not picking your nose.