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  • Please Lord, Forgive Me! I Have Failed You! Gay Marriage is Now Legal! Woe to Us All!

    Brethren and Sistern, I have been conspicuous in my absence here at Landover. It is with a heavy heart that I return to you. You see, I have failed you all. Let me explain.

    For the past month, I have been on a Holy mission. I and several other Ex-Gays© traveled to our once great nation's Capitol to hold marathon Ex-Gay© only prayer circles and all night group ministering sessions to pray that the Supreme Court would follow God's law in making their decisions regarding fag marriage.

    And pray and minister I did, unceasingly for hours on end, sometimes with up to ten other Ex-Gays© by my side, praying until we were spent, resting for a few minutes, and then praying again and again, until our bodies could take no more. And even then, one of my Ex-Gay© brothers would recover his righteous stamina and become inspired yet again, pulsing with the power of the Holy Spirit, and then he would spread that Holy energy all over the rest us, and we would then begin yet again, praying and ministering, ministering and praying . . . It was truly a gorgeous sight to behold.

    But alas, it was all for nought. Satan was obviously involved, as the Justices put the US Constitution above God's Law. My only solace is that I know they will all burn for eternity, groveling at the feet of their unclean master in the Lake of Fire for the grave injury they have done God's Favorite Country®. I beg for your forgiveness.
    Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


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    Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

    Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

  • #2
    Re: Please Lord, Forgive Me! I Have Failed You! Gay Marriage is Now Legal! Woe to Us All!

    Well Prof, you and your Ex-Fag buddies really screwed the pooch on that one! Don't take this the wrong way Brother, but maybe some of your supposed Ex-Fag friends aren't as "ex" as they claim to be, if you get my drift.

    And we all know how much God hates queers, so I don't imagine he'd take too kindly to a big ol' group of rump rangers asking him for favors. Hell, this whole fag marriage thing could be all your gay buddies faults!
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    Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



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