Furniture - Satan's plaything?

[Gospel of Truth]

I am guessing that this is the work of Satan. Can I have some guidance on this please. Is it alright? Or is Satan really at work?

I only ask as I have a rather lovely antique chaise longue, and a free weekend.

(Sorry, don't know how to post a YouTube preview)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvJUUgq80B8

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[Nobar King]

Re: Furniture - Satan's plaything?

I don't think it's the furniture's fault that those nigras can't control themselves.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Furniture - Satan's plaything?

I am guessing that this is the work of Satan. Can I have some guidance on this please. Is it alright? Or is Satan really at work?

I only ask as I have a rather lovely antique chaise longue, and a free weekend.

(Sorry, don't know how to post a YouTube preview)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvJUUgq80B8

.

You don't know how to read your Holy Bible either, young man. This troubles me for someone that proclaims himself the "Gospel of Truth".

I have no idea if you lust for male rectums, or female quim in your question. Regardless, you would be comitting serious sexual sin.

If violent rectal sodomy is what you fantasize, God hates you and wants you dead.

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

If it is lust for a woman that is not your wife, God will also take action.

Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

In either scenario, I can only assume that the spilling of your seed will be the outcome of such a wicked and lewd exercise. God will slay you for this as well.

Genesis 38:9-10 "And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also."

The KJV1611 Holy Bible. Learn it. Love it. Live it.

In Christ

[Gospel of Truth]

Re: Furniture - Satan's plaything?

Thank you Brother Harold.

I don't know my Bible which is precisely why I am here. I have Tourettes Syndrome, (ie - I am possessed by Satan), so I cannot go to regular Church.

So I need to learn.

Is it partly the fault of the furniture and should it be beaten and spanked?

Secondly, if I was in prison, and it was a choice between sodomy with another inmate and "knocking one out" myself, what should I do?

By the way, how can I tell which version of the truth I have at home? The covers of the book are gone and I don't know if it is the KJV or some other version.

Finally "Gospel of Truth" is what I seek. And I thought it might make me sound cleverer.

Thanks. Please help.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Furniture - Satan's plaything?

Thank you Brother Harold.

At least you are respectful of your Betters.

I don't know my Bible which is precisely why I am here. I have Tourettes Syndrome, (ie - I am possessed by Satan), so I cannot go to regular Church.

The more you read the Bible and pray (believing), the more Satan flees (I John 5:18). With the help of some Pastors and Elders praying over you and counseling you (see James 5:14-16), it won't be long before you'll be able to obey Hebrews 10:25 and Acts 20:7, which demand going to church.

You have to help yourself first and then God will come right along and put a spring in your step.

So I need to learn.

Yes, you do.

Is it partly the fault of the furniture and should it be beaten and spanked?

No, but if you use the knobs on your couches or bedposts to pleasure yourself like some hellspawn sicko, then you can only blame yourself.

Something tells me you enjoy talking about it. We'll not be apart of your fetishes.

Secondly, if I was in prison, and it was a choice between sodomy with another inmate and "knocking one out" myself, what should I do?

Neither. The Bible says if we offend in just one point, then we are guilty of all (see James 2:10)

By the way, how can I tell which version of the truth I have at home? The covers of the book are gone and I don't know if it is the KJV or some other version.

Much of what you say sounds hard to believe, but turn to this passage; if the Wording matches, it is the KJV...

Genesis 24:20: "And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels."

Finally "Gospel of Truth" is what I seek. And I thought it might make me sound cleverer.

Thanks. Please help.

Then you lied for your own ego. Not good.

Regards,

Pastor Ed