Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

[Bjorn Jensen]

As a part of the ex-gay pride week, Freehold straight bars now has decided to boycott Swedish vodka in response to recent heterophobic laws in Sweden that even allows gays to get married. Swedish Christians faces harsh persecution for speaking out against sodomy, Pastor Åke Green being one of them. We in Freehold finds this unacceptable, and as a form of protest, Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Absolut, the boycott also includes other Swedish brands such as Finlandia.

The first bar to proudly join the boycott was Drinkin' With Christ after that I told them about the ongoing heterophobic atrocities in Sweden. Now, just a few days later, more than 20 Freehold bars has decided to join the boycott.

[Ex-soccer player]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

It comes as a surprise to me that this eskimo hooch was allowed in Freehold until now, I suppose it was mostly used as aftershave or to disinfect gunshot wounds? Christians should buy American

[Nobar King]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

Normally I like to buy American vodka like Smirnoff but now I'm especially enjoying a Stoli and soda in the afternoon. Even though Stoli supports the homosexual agenda, I know that it's just for that part of the market. The taxes they pay go to oppress homers in Russia, so I'm happy.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

It has come to my knowledge that Absolut Vodka is actually owned by a French company, but the fact still remains that it is distilled in Sweden and uses Swedish ingredients, and thereby pays taxes to the hateful pro-gay regime of Sweden, AND Godless France.

Russian Vodka should have be given the full support by all Christians for Russia's brave and honorable Christian war against perversion. I for one will be enjoying the Winter Olympics with a glass of Stoli and a nice meal of Chick-Fil-A.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

I think all vodka should be banned in Freehold. It's long been scientifical proof that queers love it.

Gay guys sure do love vodka. At some point in the last 10 years, vodka surpassed whiskey as the most consumed hard liquor in America. At the same time, gay guys have gone from casual appearances on Melrose Place to two cable networks and Jimmy Kimmel pretending to date Ben Affleck. Coincidence? Doubtful.

There are two reasons gay guys like vodka: it mixes well with everything, and it has an aura of sophistication lacking in, for example, rum.
Vodka mixes well with everything basically because it tastes like nothing. And gay guys always like a new idea, so one year they’ll mix vodka with orange and cranberry juice, then move on to Apple martinis, then cosmopolitans, then lychee martinis. . .the list goes on and on. If vodka’s only attraction were its susceptibility to fad cocktails, that alone would ensure its high esteem among gay guys.

As an Ex-Gay, I won't disturb you with what it "mixes well" with, but I am certain you can imagine.

Hating God and choosing to be homosexual, it was quite common to down a fifth of vodka among two or three fags to "set the mood" for anal intercourse. And then a few bowls of crystal meth to get the courage and resolve to mount and impale the other strangers with reckless abandon as we attacked and ruined their rectums.

But the vodka was indeed the catalyst.

In Christ

[Ex-soccer player]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

Hating God and choosing to be homosexual, it was quite common to down a fifth of vodka among two or three fags to "set the mood" for anal intercourse. And then a few bowls of crystal meth to get the courage and resolve to mount and impale the other strangers with reckless abandon as we attacked and ruined their rectums.

The fags should get the booze injected into their wounded backsides with rectal syringes. That would teach them a good ex-gay lesson

A lot of talk goes on about another drug used by sex maniacs to facilitate homersexual intercourse. It was invented by and named after joo scientist Karl Popper. I'm sure you also used this one on a daily basis

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

My husband Gary has been putting down a bottle of Stoli a day to support Russia against the gay agenda.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

My husband Gary has been putting down a bottle of Stoli a day to support Russia against the gay agenda.

I've been having my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy wash my cars with Stolichnaya lately. He says it works wonders for cleaning my rims.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

I think all vodka should be banned in Freehold. It's long been scientifical proof that queers love it.



As an Ex-Gay, I won't disturb you with what it "mixes well" with, but I am certain you can imagine.

Hating God and choosing to be homosexual, it was quite common to down a fifth of vodka among two or three fags to "set the mood" for anal intercourse. And then a few bowls of crystal meth to get the courage and resolve to mount and impale the other strangers with reckless abandon as we attacked and ruined their rectums.

But the vodka was indeed the catalyst.

In Christ

I sympathize with your sentiments Brother Porter. One has to look no further than the drink names associated with the limp wristed practice of mixing Vodka with "fruit" juices - "Sex on the Beach", "Sex on Fire", "Woo Woo", "Safe Sex on the Beach", "Dry Humping on the Beach" and "Virgins on the Beach".

Distilled spirits like Vodka are a real man's drink meant to be consumed straight up.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

http://www.campussqueeze.com/post/Girl-Drinks---A-List-of-Drinks-Men-Should-Never-Order.aspx

Girl Drinks - A List of Drinks Men Should Never Order


1. Alcopop
A fruity flavored alcoholic beverage also known as bitch piss. Consumed in vast quantities by 15-yr old girls with way too much make up and nowhere near enough clothing. Things like hard lemonade, Zima and wine coolers.


2. White Zinfandel
This is a blush wine that women who know nothing about wine drink because it is fruity and sweet. For added pansy effect, ask for an ice cube.


3. Mai Tai, Fuzzy Navel, Screwdriver, Alabama Slammer, Sex on the Beach, etc.
Readers beware, all mixed drinks fall under this heading. Get real - A sweet, sugary, often fruity alcoholic beverage that is most often consumed by women and gay men. Do you really want to be the guy to say “I’ll have the same as her”?


4. Cosmopolitan (”Cosmo”)
A cocktail made famous by the show Sex And The City. It consists of cranberry juice, triple sec, vodka and lime. Yes, this could fall under the mixed drink category, but it gets its own because Sarah Jessica Parker drinks these when she’s horny.


5. Margarita
A gay man’s nectar of choice. It’s limey-taste is excellent for concealing rank breath after a “trip to the bathroom”. The fact that it’s frozen and comes equipped with an umbrella is not very macho. Group this with Pina Colada and Mudslide and reserve it for a night at Applebee’s with your lady.


6. Anything that ends in ‘-tini’ (Appletini, Flirtini, Chocolatini, and so on)
The only, repeat only, acceptable Martini is the dirty kind - a deadly cocktail which consists of a 2:1 ratio of gin or vodka and dry vermouth with olive brine added to dirty it up. Any other kind is defined as this: a drink known in the gay community as a drink to give to your partner for a sure Brokeback session later that night. PS-If you really want to impress your lady ask for your gin martini with a twist. Very sophisticated.

7. Did we mention mixed drinks?
Oh, that’s right, we did. Stay away, stay away. If the above evidence still isn’t enough to quell your curiosity, figure in the fact that these girly drinks usually cost twice as much as your standard draft.



And in case you’re legally defined as one quarter putz, here is a very basic no-no list. Feel free to print it out and stuff it into your wallet next to that unused condom.

1. Cute little umbrellas
2. Straws
3. Whipped Cream
4. Slushies
5. Fruit garnishes

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

Drink vodka like a fag


Or like a real manly man, and to get the True Christian™ 100% straight flavour, it will have to be from Russia

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

A lot of talk goes on about another drug used by sex maniacs to facilitate homersexual intercourse. It was invented by and named after joo scientist Karl Popper. I'm sure you also used this one on a daily basis

Every queer keeps a pocket full of amyl nitrite poppers, just in case he scores an evening with several dozen other anonymous sissies in a cheap motel or flophouse.

When one chooses to be a fag, they essentially sign the contract with the homo agenda; that they will inseminate as many rectums that are available on any given day. It is priority number one to constantly be locked together in sigmoid-deep rump pumping with men whose names you do not even know.

But the human body has limits, and after the 8th or 10th sodomy tryst, it can be difficult to "perform" yet again. Enter the popper. I cannot recall how many times I would sniff the little vials at 4 AM in order to pack mud with the last of the remaining homo rectums.

Praise Jesus for delivering me from such a miserable existance.

In Christ

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Freehold straight bars will no longer serve Swedish vodka

I am feeling a little miserable too, Mr Porter.
As I roasted some coffee beans this morning I checked the drinks cupboard and I had been using 3 suspect products

1. Aquavit
2. Icelandic sloe vodka
3. Tasmanian raspberry vodka (I know this last one is not Swedish, but am concerned, so included it)

Should I offer these drinks to guests?