Landover Baptist COVID Pool

[WWJDnow]

Anyone who wants to enter the Landover Baptist COVID pool should send me a private message ASAP. The rules ares simple--you put $5,000 in the pool, then get a negative PCR test to show you don't already have the virus. After that, the first person to get a confirmed positive PCR test wins the entire pool, less, of course, a 20% tithe that will go to the Pastor Ezekiel Flint Parsonage Swimming Pool Renovation fund. It really is time that we stopped making the good pastor's Filipino poolboys walk all the way from the west side of the pool to get to the cabana on the east side. The new west side cabana is a critical need!

Good luck to all of our entrants!

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Landover Baptist COVID Pool

The rules ares simple--you put $5,000 in the pool, then get a negative PCR test to show you don't already have the virus.

If an entrant tests positive on the initial test do they get the $5,000 they put in back?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Landover Baptist COVID Pool

If an entrant tests positive on the initial test do they get the $5,000 they put in back?

They won't test positive if they're Christians.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Landover Baptist COVID Pool

Congratulations to Brother James MacDonald on winning the $1.7 million payout from the LBC COVID pool with the first confirmed positive COVID test!

Unfortunately, Brother MacDonald is no longer with us, having passed on two days ago from what appears to have been a very bad case of the flu. However, we will distribute the winnings to Mac's heirs once his will clears probate. I'm sure that Mac is in Heaven now, basking in his victory as he sits at the right hand of Jesus.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Landover Baptist COVID Pool

However, we will distribute the winnings to Mac's heirs once his will clears probate.

Hang on, Brother Dnow - was that in the small print? Because we read it very carefully and there was no mention of heirs benefiting in the event of death. This is very worrying indeed - can we be sure that all the heirs are True Christians(tm)?


My husband suggests that it might be less controversial to return the $1.7m to the pot or, better still, add it to one of Pastor Zeke's funds. (He's still waiting for that new aircraft, you know.)

[WWJDnow]

Re: Landover Baptist COVID Pool

This is very worrying indeed - can we be sure that all the heirs are True Christians™?

My husband suggests that it might be less controversial to return the $1.7m to the pot or, better still, add it to one of Pastor Zeke's funds. (He's still waiting for that new aircraft, you know.)

Great idea! With any luck, Brother MacDonald will have specified exactly that in his will. Otherwise, we'll have to run this by our Jewish lawyers.