[Black man]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

Masturbation don't cause covid

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

Masturbation don't cause covid

Mr. Black man, you need a crash course in science and in common sense. For the science, I'd recommend reading all the thread under the title Creation Science. You will learn basic science there and it will help you understand how we came to be here and how to continue living a Godly life without angering Jesus.

For the common sense piece, please read this entire thread. For example, if 13 nuns who are not having heterosexual relationships are killed by God's Coronavirus it is only common sense they were practicing masturbation.

I took the time to make this response because I want you to learn from being on this site.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

Masturbation don't cause covid

I noticed you provided no proof for your claim. You atheists like to say how superior and rational and intelligent you are when all the while all you do is spout some absurd claim and run away. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

Does masturbation still cause COVID if you use hand sanitizer first?

Just kidding. Everyone knows that the only fluid that can sanitize sin is the sweet smelling blood of Jesus.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

Does masturbation still cause COVID if you use hand sanitizer first?
Just kidding. Everyone knows that the only fluid that can sanitize sin is the sweet smelling blood of Jesus.

Here is something I don't understand. Why isn't the practice of masturbation banned nationwide? Anyone can see the harm it causes, Coronavirus being the more obvious these days.

Jesus is against it. Landover Baptist condemns it. That is reason enough to outlaw it across America.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

Why isn't the practice of masturbation banned nationwide?

It's because of liberal obstruction. Liberal judges claim there's a constitutional right to masturbate, though I've read the Constitution and can assure you that it isn't there. And liberal politicians want to promote sexual immorality because they hate America and want to bring it down.

This is why it is so important to vote for Donald Trump this year--he will appoint judges who will reverse the activism of the liberals and make it possible for states to recriminalize masturbation and other forms of sex that people engage in for enjoyment.

[handmaiden]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

It used to be legal to perform operations on children to nip this sort of behavior in the bud. But, nooooooo, that is considered wrong, somehow.

Since when is it wrong for parents to educate their children according to their beliefs?

[Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

I blame Obama! Lazy good for nothing would have endorsed it!

[Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

This is what happens when we fall asleep at the wheel fellow brothers and sisters. Obama should never have got into the oval and I for one cannot believe the scoundrel managed to find a way in. Probably used his minority tactics to tunnel in or slip through the A/C. Long live the MAGA reign in the oval!

[handmaiden]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

This is what happens when we fall asleep at the wheel fellow brothers and sisters. Obama should never have got into the oval and I for one cannot believe the scoundrel managed to find a way in. Probably used his minority tactics to tunnel in or slip through the A/C. Long live the MAGA reign in the oval!

Excuse me, to which "oval" are you referring? Are you reminiscing about the old-timey drink named "ovaltine"? Or perhaps you are making an oblique reference to a masturbatory practice? In that case, I thank you for your discretion.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

Excuse me, to which "oval" are you referring? Are you reminiscing about the old-timey drink named "ovaltine"? Or perhaps you are making an oblique reference to a masturbatory practice? In that case, I thank you for your discretion.

Dearest Sister,

I think that you definitely are unto something here. And that something is, as expected, sodomy. Ovaltine, especially when consumed before bedtime, has well-known and not at all uncommon side-effects that are irreversible and devastating.



It seems that this uccello-guy (as a Creation scientist I am well aware of the subtext of this Vaticanistic word, the vernacular translation of which is "bird") uses the association-lure "oval" to seduce our young youths into taking a disastrous dose of this spiritually fatal beverage that can make our unblemished young Brethren wake up with sodomistic cravings. This "Ovaltine" is one of the most potent extrinsic causes of sodomy right after prostate exams and water polo.

Romans 1:26
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

It is not a coincidence that this rousing verse contains the letters highlighted in red typeface. I say Russell's teapot is more likely to traverse the Solid Sphere of the Firmament right now than the sodomite to lose his spots. We must treat this newcomer as a Sodomite unless proven otherwise.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

It seems that this uccello-guy (as a Creation scientist I am well aware of the subtext of this Vaticanistic word, the vernacular translation of which is "bird") uses the association-lure "oval" to seduce our young youths into taking a disastrous dose of this spiritually fatal beverage that can make our unblemished young Brethren wake up with sodomistic cravings. This "Ovaltine" is one of the most potent extrinsic causes of sodomy right after prostate exams and water polo.

Add to that the original fake avatar photo of failed mass-murderer Raoul Moat (I don't think a body-count of two, including himself, was what he had in mind, do you?) and I suspect he may have been encouraging our sons to dose themselves with steroids, perhaps washed down with a bedtime drink of Ovaltine.

The result would presumably be that they would wake refreshed and with foul homosexualist desires, but so very much impaired by being wounded in the stones (by shrinkage) that they would be unable to do anything about it. This would avoid them falling foul of Leviticus 18:22. However, Deuteronomy 23:1 tells us that they would be unable to enter into the congregation of our beloved Lord.

Just Say No to Ovaltine. And steroids.

[Diesel Stanford]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

Very true. My younger brother is sadly still a heavy masturbator. He is the black sheep of our family. I blame him for this virus.

[handmaiden]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

So, so much masturbation. How does Jesus deal with viewing it all? My heart breaks with the thought of all the dirty deeds done in the dark that Jesus must bear witness to.

[Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate]

Re: Masturbation is Causing the Corona Virus

I was referring to the oval office brothers and sisters. Sorry for any confusion.