Stop Washing Your Hands Before You Eat

[WWJDnow]

With all of the hand washing going on these days, I feel like I'm watching Macbeth being performed by the inmates of an OCD treatment facility. Please stop!

Washing your hands before you eat is a hoax, and amounts to nothing more than a cheap political statement against President Trump. There is absolutely no evidence from any properly controlled clinical trial to prove that it protects you from the virus. In fact, ingesting the small amounts of coronavirus on your hands is probably the best way to develop immunity short of a COVID party.

Unless you watch Fox News, you're not going to hear about this.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Stop Washing Your Hands Before You Eat

With all of the hand washing going on these days, I feel like I'm watching Macbeth being performed by the inmates of an OCD treatment facility. Please stop!

Washing your hands before you eat is a hoax, and amounts to nothing more than a cheap political statement against President Trump. There is absolutely no evidence from any properly controlled clinical trial to prove that it protects you from the virus. In fact, ingesting the small amounts of coronavirus on your hands is probably the best way to develop immunity short of a COVID party.

Unless you watch Fox News, you're not going to hear about this.

Verily, handwashing is a transgression against Jesus Christ our Savior™ and thus against the God-chosen President of The United States of America, Donald Trump!

Matthew 15:2-3
Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread. But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?

Here Jesus also exemplifies in His usual, logically flawless manner the argumentative strategy of whataboutism - a fallacy when used by the common sinner but a strong piece of evidence when employed by True Christians™. I am happy to tell you that I usually only wash my hands when I have been in contact with the AIDS contagion, e.g., flying on a plane that has suspiciously comely fragrant men, sodomites, sitting in the same fuselage.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Stop Washing Your Hands Before You Eat

I've just eaten some delicious lamb ragout with cumin & star anise, wrapped up in dry-fried wheat pancakes with a suitable aniseed wine.

I Timothy 5:23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.

I did not wash my hands after preparing that food.

Proverbs 23:31 Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright.