[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Hello!

Well, some godly American and Biblical names: Mary (Luke 1:28), Elizabeth (Luke 1:39), Naomi (Ruth 1:1), Ruth (Book of Ruth), Esther (Book of Esther), Abagail (1 Samuel 25:39-42), Anna (Luke 2:36-38), Joanna (Luke 8:3), and Lydia (Acts 16:14). Hope that helps you stop lying and get on the right path to Heaven!

[Dolores de Barriga]

Re: Hello!

Dolores, I just have to know how your research is coming along and if the apartment I am graciously providing along with a generous scholarship is to your liking. Since there has been no contact, I can only assume you're well and that you have been adapting to life in our perfect little town. Do let me know if you need anything more. My handyman, Igor, tells me that you speak Russian and Spanish. Why?

Yours in Him,
NRL

Dear Miss Naomi, thank you for your interest in my research endeavors. However, I must inform you that I've got a grant for my research, and therefore will not need financial assistance nor a place to live. However, I would love to pass that offer to one of my friends. He's doing research on AIDS among sex workers*, but his grant proposal was rejected, and I'm sure he would graciously accept your money and the apartment. Should I give him your phone, so you can talk about the details? I took the liberty of showing him the apartment you've so kindly offered, and he seemed to be very enthusiastic. VERY enthusiastic, in fact.

As far my language skills, I'm sure it was a misunderstanding. I can say "hello" and "thank you" in several languages, but after exchanging greetings, that nice - albeit very large - man kept talking in Russian to me, and he did not take my "ni panimayu pa Russkiy" for an answer. How in the world do you manage to communicate with that guy, Miss Naomi?


________________
* I understand that is a profession that such godly people like yourself do not approve of, but I can reassure you that my friend will not be in any way imposing or invasive into your life and business.

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello!

We do not live in Hawaii.

You're right, I am from Hawaii. I used to be a sinful satanist. Recently, I have been questioning my ways and then found these forums. I hated Christians, however I realize what is said in these forums made sense. Me and ChicaChristian wanted to join you and worship Jesus, but we have not found a church. We lied and are sorry. We hope to leave our sinful ways behind and become good christians.

Girl, you and your little sister are giving me a headache. Pretty little liars!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hello!

...I am unfamiliar with the commandments...

So go read the Bible. 66 books, read two a day (maybe an hour or two), and you'll be done in a month. See ya then.

[bonniechristian]

Re: Hello!

I am sorry and I am a man. I am unfamiliar with the commandments and i'm trying to be christian. I swear I will never lie again, and I lied because I was afraid that you wouldn't accept me as a christian.

[BaptistBethany]

Re: Hello!

You're right, I am from Hawaii. I used to be a sinful satanist. Recently, I have been questioning my ways and then found these forums. I hated Christians, however I realize what is said in these forums made sense. Me and ChicaChristian wanted to join you and worship Jesus, but we have not found a church. We lied and are sorry. We hope to leave our sinful ways behind and become good christians.

My dear young lady named Bonnie, you are walking on thin ice when you lie. You are breaking the 9th Commandment of our Lord God! There are so many Bible verses against lying, that I have to take a moment and find them all - I will list them shortly. Why, dear girl, would you lie to such Godly people of Landover Baptist???

[bonniechristian]

Re: Hello!

You're right, I am from Hawaii. I used to be a sinful satanist. Recently, I have been questioning my ways and then found these forums. I hated Christians, however I realize what is said in these forums made sense. Me and ChicaChristian wanted to join you and worship Jesus, but we have not found a church. We lied and are sorry. We hope to leave our sinful ways behind and become good christians.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hello!

We do not live in Hawaii.

Dear person,

Obviously you must have residence in the Pacific. You know, your chosen name "Bonnie" dictates that. You must know ye olde sea shanty:

My Bonnie lies over the ocean
My Bonnie lies over the sea
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me...

Hawaii is, thus, by definition over the Ocean.

Did my argument seem foolish? Of course it did! It is the same with your idle ramblings here so far.

Proverbs 10:14
Wise men lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction.

That is where you are. Near destruction. Not by us but mediated by your foolish pride, wish to come and play with stupid Christians with your wit and superiority, your bafflement that it doesn't work out, eventually the degeneration into whining.

Where you live is totally irrelevant, because you are living apart from God and Jesus. They are in Liverpool and in Hawaii. But you are not with them.

This is Exodus 23:12-13
That thou shalt set apart unto the LORD all that openeth the matrix, and every firstling that cometh of a beast which thou hast; the males [shall be] the LORD'S. And every firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb; and if thou wilt not redeem it, then thou shalt break his neck: and all the firstborn of man among thy children shalt thou redeem.

Instead of Hawaii it is about this: Changing your ways. Examining these verses that seem strange and only remind you of heathen entertainment at the moment. Why do you think the movie was named after these Biblical words? It is God everywhere.



My advice. Stop trying to irritate anybody. Examine yourself. Find the ugly sins of pride and superiority. Submit to God. Study His Word. Let us talk again when you are ready.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[bonniechristian]

Re: Hello!

We do not live in Hawaii.

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello!

Naomi, chicachristian is my brother and we are both against faggots. Chica is the name of my brother's daughter, and he thought it would be nice to name his user after her, as he was having trouble with coming up with a username.

Why would a (supposed) guy use a nickname that means "girl," and (supposedly) is a girl's name???

Very suspicious.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello!

I perceive that the investigation has rooted you out and you are in Hawaii, among the Chinamen and pot smoking hippies. That is the home of President Barak Obama when he is not in Chicago or God forsaken Washington, D.C. Are you associated with him?

[bonniechristian]

Re: Hello!

Excuse me? We are very serious Christian believers, not that from 4chan.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

What do you suggest Chica be named?

I suggest you two go back to 4chan and tell your masters there that Landover Baptist Church is protected by Jesus, and that none of us are interested in turning queer, smoking the drugs, and worshiping satan with you.

[bonniechristian]

Re: Hello!

What do you suggest Chica be named?

[BaptistBethany]

Re: Hello!

Another Bible Verse about a good name:

Proverbs 22:1
A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.