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  • LizzyWorship
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Jan 2015
    • 3

    #1

    Greetings

    Dear members of the forum,
    My name is Elizabeth Worship Smith, but I go by the name of Elizabeth or Lizzy Worship, as it sums up basically my whole life.

    I was born in Ireland but lived in America for 6 years, where I met my husband, we now travel the world spreading the word of the LORD to all the sinners out there. I am 33 years old and my husband felt I was slipping away from the LORD so made me register here to enrich myself in the ways of the LORD once more.

    I hope you will accept a humble sinner like me into your midst,
    Lizzy

    Note: If you ever see a "Note" at the bottom of the page, this means Elizabeth's husband is writing. I found her having a conversation with a Mudsline recent,y and needed to take action, prompting me to register at Landovef (I've been active for a couple of months now)
  • Jim Farmer
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2014
    • 2293

    #2
    Re: Greetings

    How many children do you have Mrs Elizabeth?
    And by what name do we know your husband?
    sigpic

    Comment

    • Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Jun 2014
      • 1330

      #3
      Re: Greetings

      Mrs. Elizabeth Smith,

      Welcome and will you tell us your favorite Bible verse and walk with Jesus (it tells you to do so in the instructions, really it's not too hard to read them )? How many children do you have? I know you are Irish and therefore I want to check, are you a Cathylick? I hope not!!!

      Yours in Christ,
      Elizabeth
      "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

      Comment

      • Alvin Moss
        Serving Jesus
        True Christian™
        • Aug 2013
        • 4468

        #4
        Re: Greetings

        Are you an Irish Traveler?
        God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

        Comment

        • LizzyWorship
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Jan 2015
          • 3

          #5
          Re: Greetings

          Originally posted by Jim Farmer View Post
          How many children do you have Mrs Elizabeth?
          And by what name do we know your husband?
          Two children, sir.
          And my husband isn't registered on Landover, but his name is James Smith.

          Dear Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson,
          It's so hard to choose from all the verses in the bible, but Corintians 6:9 is currently one that speaks to me quite clearly.

          Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

          I am not Catholic, unfortunately most of my family are on my side.

          Dear Alvin Moss,
          No, and I never intend to become one, they've given the whole nationality the name of drunken louts who do nothing but drink, which is quite untrue for the small Baptist community in Ireland.

          Comment

          • Des
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Jun 2013
            • 2718

            #6
            Re: Greetings

            Lizzy sounds an awful lot like lezzy. Are you sure you aren't trying to lure us into sin by watching you wallow on an oiled drop mat with a Japanese schoolgirl and several vibrating eggplants?
            Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

            Comment

            • LizzyWorship
              Unsaved trash
              Under Investigation
              • Jan 2015
              • 3

              #7
              Re: Greetings

              Originally posted by Des View Post
              Lizzy sounds an awful lot like lezzy. Are you sure you aren't trying to lure us into sin by watching you wallow on an oiled drop mat with a Japanese schoolgirl and several vibrating eggplants?
              Brother Des,
              I can assure you I am not a lesbian, I find myself insulted by the fact that you could compare me to such awful sinners, though I understand, I could be an awful mudslime or Joo for all you know. As for the last part I don't really know what you're talking about, no offense to you, it's just my ignorant mind.

              Note:She is no lezzy, My wife is a pure baptist woman with love for her children and husband, though she does need to be punished regularly.

              Comment

              • Tree of Woe
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Jan 2015
                • 20

                #8
                Re: Greetings

                Awfully liberal of your Husband to allow you to post here.

                Not in my house! My wife's hands are for Scrubbing dishes, frying bacon and washing my feet nightly... as God intended.

                If your husband is not up to the task of giving you a good healthy beating I can be reached by PM, or email ***personal contact info removed***
                Last edited by Elmer G. White; 01-22-2015, 05:03 PM. Reason: No personal contact information. Jesus can reach you everywhere.

                Comment

                • James Hutchins
                  True Christian™
                  Just a Regular Nice Guy
                   
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 29453

                  #9
                  Re: Greetings

                  Welcome Mrs. Smith. Please try not to fill the forum with female poofery.
                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                  Comment

                  • Artofburning
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Sep 2012
                    • 62

                    #10
                    Re: Greetings

                    My dear, from the tone of your introduction it seems that your husband's forcing you to come here was a bad thing. Fyi, there's not a tittle of wrong in his decision in doing so! After all, he clearly cares about your salvation and doesn't want you frying next to the secular trash that frequents Our Lord's Holy Web Forums for the rest of eternity.
                    Revelation 20:10
                    And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown.

                    Comment

                    • Faith_Machine
                      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Mar 2011
                      • 10050

                      #11
                      Re: Greetings

                      Welcome to our humble forum, Lizzy. I would love to speak with you privately about your walk with Jesus.
                      WARNING:
                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                      Comment

                      • Jim Farmer
                        True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2014
                        • 2293

                        #12
                        Re: Greetings

                        She's married, FM. Anyway, where's Mistress Cookie? Huh?
                        sigpic

                        Comment

                        • Naomi Ruth Lamb
                          True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Nov 2013
                          • 999

                          #13
                          Re: Greetings

                          Hello, Lizzy Worship:

                          Your handsome, manly, and Godly husband was so sweet to allow you to learn more about our beautiful Savior through the pages of Landover Baptist Church. God has blessed our congregation with inspired men of faith; these men explain the Word in a way that even women can comprehend (slightly). I would like to offer my services to your husband as a tutor to you in the ways of Jesus.

                          I am able to travel to you if your husband would allow me to do so. I am a woman of some means and no financial support is necessary. I would, however, require some alone time with him just so He can test me to be sure that my spirit witnesses with His spirit. I can also allow him to sample my pie, which is well known in Freehold and many cities across the country!

                          I encourage you to read the thousands of Spirit-filled teachings that you'll find throughout our forum - each of them straight from the Holy Ghost's dove-like wings as the writers were inspired (as were the authors of the Bible).

                          May Jesus bless you with great knowledge!

                          Lovingly,
                          NRL
                          1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                          Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                          Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                          Locations in 50 States and Canada
                          !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                          Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                          Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                          Comment

                          • Faith_Machine
                            Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Mar 2011
                            • 10050

                            #14
                            Re: Greetings

                            Originally posted by Jim Farmer View Post
                            She's married, FM. Anyway, where's Mistress Cookie? Huh?
                            Brother Jim, I'm quite certain I have no idea what you mean by that!
                            WARNING:
                            In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                            REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                            Comment

                            • Marko Loimaan-Aho
                              Forum Member
                              Forum Member
                              • May 2014
                              • 709

                              #15
                              Re: Greetings

                              Originally posted by LizzyWorship View Post
                              I am 33 years old and my husband felt I was slipping away from the LORD so made me register here to enrich myself in the ways of the LORD once more.

                              I hope you will accept a humble sinner like me into your midst,
                              Lizzy

                              Note: If you ever see a "Note" at the bottom of the page, this means Elizabeth's husband is writing. I found her having a conversation with a Mudsline recent,y and needed to take action, prompting me to register at Landovef (I've been active for a couple of months now)
                              Hello, Note Worship. One question - what kind of man you are if you can not control your wife?

                              1 Corinthians 11:3
                              1 Corinthians 14:34-35

                              Note Worship, how can you expect US to make your wife learn anything? Women do not learn without punishment. It is impossible to do in internet. It is your duty, as a Christian husband.

                              Are you one of these sissy irishmen?
                              PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY!
                              Revelation 21:8

                              Animal Rights - A Christian Perspective
                              Satan’s new technology – Black is even darker than before

                              Comment

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