Yet Another Potential True Christian™

[Rev Lance Chambers]

I have just recently moved from Chester Baptist Church and must say that I am truly praying to the lord for my opportunity to be in the Holy Church of Freehold, Landover Baptist!

I am a studying Creation Scientist and I hope to prove myself as a great Reverend Brother-in Christ to you all. I was raised in a small town in Ohio by a loving and God-worshipping family, and have attended religious schooling all my life. However, I moved to Iowa in order to spread the good news and meet other pure-souls.

Every day and night, I finish the glorious gift of life the lord has gifted upon me with a quick Rosary prayer and reading from one of the Holiest books in existence.

I am also an active participant in the protests against the damned gay homosexual sinners, and am a well-known sign designer for such protests.

I have been a Prayer Warrior for God for 20+ years. Amen to you all, my brothers and sisters in God.

And until we talk again, Praise the lord and true saviour, Jesus Christ!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Yet Another True Christian™

Welcome to God's favorite forum, dear! I can see your heart is in the right place, but it appears the papists have duped you into believing that by mumbling along with their vain, repetitious, heathenish chants (they call it the "rosary"), you are honoring and glorifying God. The truth is dear, that prayer is to the goddes they call Mary, the fourth person of the Catholic Trinity, or Quadrinity if you want to be technical. There is ample proof to show Mary is really a compilation of many pagan goddesses. I suggest you put down those speed-beads an instead drop to your knees for forgiveness. You can learn more about Salvation in Brother Bob4God's wonderful resource, How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! You'll want to look through this information carefully dear, as God doesn't listen to the prayers of sinners.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Yet Another True Christian™

Welcome Rev. Chambers. Have you been contacted by one of the Pastors at Landover and offered an invitation to apply for an application to be considered for a permit to go home shopping?
What guns do you own? How do you think the peaceful solitude of a good long range rifle satisfies today's hectic lifestyles? Being you are a Rev., I'd love to hear you provide uninterpreted direct Bible verse to substantiate your facts.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Yet Another True Christian™

Hello and welcome. Leaving aside your obvious confusion about playing with childish beads, your signature reads:

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do." (Leviticus 21:6-7)

Is this some Cathlic version of the Bible that confuses Leviticus with Exodus?

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Yet Another True Christian™

I have just recently moved from Chester Baptist Church and must say that I am truly praying to the lord for my opportunity to be in the Holy Church of Freehold, Landover Baptist!

I am a studying Creation Scientist and I hope to prove myself as a great Reverend Brother-in Christ to you all. I was raised in a small town in Ohio by a loving and God-worshipping family, and have attended religious schooling all my life. However, I moved to Iowa in order to spread the good news and meet other pure-souls.

Every day and night, I finish the glorious gift of life the lord has gifted upon me with a quick Rosary prayer and reading from one of the Holiest books in existence.

I am also an active participant in the protests against the damned gay homosexual sinners, and am a well-known sign designer for such protests.

I have been a Prayer Warrior for God for 20+ years. Amen to you all, my brothers and sisters in God.

And until we talk again, Praise the lord and true saviour, Jesus Christ!

A Cautious Welcome to our Friendly Forums:

Most men I know named Lance have a partner named Bruce or Serge or Domingo. Have you renounced the obvious gayness of your given name? It is a quick and simple thing to change your name at any courthouse.

As for your being a True Christian™, that will be for the Department of Faith to decide upon completion of the necessary investigation. Until then, you are at the bottom of the pecking order here. We will pray for you and lift you up to Jesus until you are worthy of being treated differently.

I do not condone the use of rosary beads. Simply falling on our faces before GOD and speaking to Him with reverence and praise is sufficient. No amount of our fathers or glory be's will gain you entrance into Heaven, sir. Only the blood of Jesus, spilled on Calvary's cross, will wash you of your sin and make you a forgiven child of the King.

Lord, I just lift up Rev. Lance to you right now Father God and I ask you to melt those rosary beads just as you will do when millions of papists are cast into the fiery pit, Lord Jesus, and Father God we just believe right now that You will send Baptist ministers to Lance and a good attorney to help him change his sinful faggot name Father God, and that he will come to know You in spirit and truth and serve You all his days, Lord, and that one day soon this man will realize that it is only because of Your sacrifice temporarily dying for us and then popping out of that tomb like so much corn in a skillet, raising up back into Heaven, and returning for us one day that we have hope for eternal life with You, Father God. We just bless Your Holy Name, and stand believing in the gap for this man. Amen.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Yet Another True Christian™

We are quite used to the unsaved arriving here and making some bold announcement that they are saved, expecting us to believe them. They think us fools. This man, however, is not one of those. I believe he is a spy, sent by the Roman Harlot. He seeks to infiltrate our ranks with lies. He wants to move to Freehold. He may try sly tricks, so we must be vigilant. We may be able to catch him.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Yet Another True Christian™

We are quite used to the unsaved arriving here and making some bold announcement that they are saved, expecting us to believe them. They think us fools. This man, however, is not one of those. I believe he is a spy, sent by the Roman Harlot. He seeks to infiltrate our ranks with lies. He wants to move to Freehold. He may try sly tricks, so we must be vigilant. We may be able to catch him.

A papist stalking for "fresh meat", I bet. Doesn't the fool know there are no Altar Boys in Baptist Churches?