[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: An Introduction

Where do you get the completely idiotic idea that living as a True Christian™ is boring!? The Bible beats anything Disney every produced tenfold in entertainment value.

Disney's Avengers are no match for Jeremiah 51:1-58 and Disney's frozen doesn't stand a chance against Ezekiel 23:20.

Amen, Brother! Why, no where else can you find real-life stories of deception and speed the likes of which inspire stories thousands of years later! Ehud is one of my children's favorite heroes!

The story of Ehud (while the foundation of the popular movie The Matrix -Hollywood predictably got it all wrong) is the story of sin, spies, revenge, and liberation. The Israelites were under the illusion that they were under the protection of free will, but what they didn't know was that God had given Eglon, king of Moab, power over Israel. When they realized their fate was not their own, they cried out to God to help.

God sent Ehud, an ancient version of Neo but far cooler than Keanu Reeves could ever hope to portray, to fight the antagonist (Eglon) who was far fatter but no less dastardly than Agent Smith. Getting past King Eglon's crack security was accomplished by making Ehud crafty enough with his left hand to inspire him to hide his sword in his right hip. Getting permission to see the king privately to deliver a message was no problem with the appearance of being unarmed.

In a singular move of stealth, deception, and ninja-like reflexes, Ehud delivered his "message" to the king. Stabbing King Eglon right in the fat belly, emptying his bowels all over the floor, where he then fell, pushing the sword so far deep into his gluttonous mass that it was hidden from view. Ehud made a clean get away as the king's security team thought the king was busy with his afternoon constitutional and didn't go check on him for a long time. Needless to say, his constitutional had been taken care of with an 18 inch blade and the Wrath of God!
(Judges 3:12-30)

[James Hutchins]

Re: An Introduction

Welcome friend! You know, you do not have to be gaywise. You can be Christian instead. Wouldn't you rather have Jesus be you BFF instead of some sweaty leather clad muscular youth?

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: An Introduction

I know you think women are treated badly here. However, we get what we deserve, and are treated well. All we have to do is simple, obey the Bible and thus obey our husbands. As long as we do those two things, we get treated like queens. My husband gives me a large allowance in order for me to go shopping and do as I see fit (withing Biblical parameters). He's a kind, generous man who will make sure I go to Heaven, no matter what!

Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

[kussarojam]

Re: An Introduction

I'd like to take a moment and thank the True Christans for the icon. While I preferred my old one, I actually used to have one a bit like this on a different forum. Reminds me of old times.

Do you have your husband's permission to be here?

Having a husband would make me gay.
Just to make things clear, I am a male of an undecided sexuality, over the age of 18.

Where do you get the completely idiotic idea that living as a True Christian™ is boring!? The Bible beats anything Disney every produced tenfold in entertainment value.

Disney's Avengers are no match for Jeremiah 51:1-58 and Disney's frozen doesn't stand a chance against Ezekiel 23:20.

Are you sure? You sound like someone who hasn't went and seen either of those movies. This is exactly what I mean. You hole yourselves up and read the bible all day, and don't let yourself consume any media that isn't Christian-related. Which means you're missing out on things like enjoying this wonderful piece of art, as well as other perfectly fine pieces of media. which is my favorite game in the entire world. Please play it.

Amen, Brother! Why, no where else can you find real-life stories of deception and speed the likes of which inspire stories thousands of years later! Ehud is one of my children's favorite heroes!

The story of Ehud (while the foundation of the popular movie The Matrix -Hollywood predictably got it all wrong) is the story of sin, spies, revenge, and liberation. The Israelites were under the illusion that they were under the protection of free will, but what they didn't know was that God had given Eglon, king of Moab, power over Israel. When they realized their fate was not their own, they cried out to God to help.

God sent Ehud, an ancient version of Neo but far cooler than Keanu Reeves could ever hope to portray, to fight the antagonist (Eglon) who was far fatter but no less dastardly than Agent Smith. Getting past King Eglon's crack security was accomplished by making Ehud crafty enough with his left hand to inspire him to hide his sword in his right hip. Getting permission to see the king privately to deliver a message was no problem with the appearance of being unarmed.

In a singular move of stealth, deception, and ninja-like reflexes, Ehud delivered his "message" to the king. Stabbing King Eglon right in the fat belly, emptying his bowels all over the floor, where he then fell, pushing the sword so far deep into his gluttonous mass that it was hidden from view. Ehud made a clean get away as the king's security team thought the king was busy with his afternoon constitutional and didn't go check on him for a long time. Needless to say, his constitutional had been taken care of with an 18 inch blade and the Wrath of God!
(Judges 3:12-30)

Yeah, but that's only one part of the bible, and it's also filled with unnecessary drivel about how God made the world and whatnot. Why go read the bible, filled with more old, dated philosophies than action, when I can go read the Hunger Games or something like that, where I get a consistent, action-filled plot?
The Matrix isn't based off of that story anyways, it's based off of the concept of lucid dreaming. (Source, scroll down to #9)

Welcome friend! You know, you do not have to be gaywise. You can be Christian instead. Wouldn't you rather have Jesus be you BFF instead of some sweaty leather clad muscular youth?

A sweaty, leather clad muscular youth wouldn't just watch me suffer in hellfire just for not obeying his father's word. And they'd probably have a motorcycle.

I know you think women are treated badly here. However, we get what we deserve, and are treated well. All we have to do is simple, obey the Bible and thus obey our husbands. As long as we do those two things, we get treated like queens. My husband gives me a large allowance in order for me to go shopping and do as I see fit (withing Biblical parameters). He's a kind, generous man who will make sure I go to Heaven, no matter what!

Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

When did I say that? You guys sure do make a lot of assumptions. This one's true, though. The things said on here from and about women are really concerning.
That leads to horribly unhealthy possibilities, though. A lot of the men act like they could get less of a damn about you if you're not married to them, Pastor Ekeizel especially. I'm half-convinced he hates women and is really bad at hiding it, I swear. Would you seriously let your husband, the one you're supposed to be tied down to for the rest of your life, treat you like nothing? Are you even allowed to disagree with them? Is your only criteria for marriage to be that they are a True Christian, or that your dad decides he wants you to? What if he tells you to kill yourself, what would you do?

You've dedicated your lives to endlessly pleasing people, and it's not healthy. You have more purpose to your life than having kids and getting married. Before you're a woman, you're a human being, and deserve to be treated as such.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: An Introduction

When did I say that? You guys sure do make a lot of assumptions. This one's true, though. The things said on here from and about women are really concerning.

That leads to horribly unhealthy possibilities, though. A lot of the men act like they could get less of a damn about you if you're not married to them, Pastor Ekeizel especially. I'm half-convinced he hates women and is really bad at hiding it, I swear. Would you seriously let your husband, the one you're supposed to be tied down to for the rest of your life, treat you like nothing? Are you even allowed to disagree with them? Is your only criteria for marriage to be that they are a True Christian, or that your dad decides he wants you to? What if he tells you to kill yourself, what would you do?

You've dedicated your lives to endlessly pleasing people, and it's not healthy. You have more purpose to your life than having kids and getting married. Before you're a woman, you're a human being, and deserve to be treated as such.

Of course I'm a human being! I have dominion over the animals, since I'm created better. Don't you understand that I'm third in command here? First it's God, then my husband, then me? Thus, I have control, and it's like the military. There's a first, second, third, forth, ect. order that obeys each other for the success of all. God created an order, and I need to be obedient and follow it!

I'm not treated like nothing. I have nice clothes to wear, a nice house, servants to boss around, and a loving husband. I would happily do whatever my husband asks me to do; however committing suicide is against God's law and thus, my godly husband would never ask me to do so. I have standards, and they were created by me, my father, and the Bible. And I can disagree, but I don't have to voice it. My husband is the head of the household. Traditional marriage has worked for eons, throughout all sorts of change, and it shouldn't and won't change with the 21st Century. I'm happy and fulfilled in my marriage and isn't that what all of us want?

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

[kussarojam]

Re: An Introduction

Of course I'm a human being! I have dominion over the animals, since I'm created better. Don't you understand that I'm third in command here? First it's God, then my husband, then me? Thus, I have control, and it's like the military. There's a first, second, third, forth, ect. order that obeys each other for the success of all. God created an order, and I need to be obedient and follow it!

I'm not treated like nothing. I have nice clothes to wear, a nice house, servants to boss around, and a loving husband. I would happily do whatever my husband asks me to do; however committing suicide is against God's law and thus, my godly husband would never ask me to do so. I have standards, and they were created by me, my father, and the Bible. And I can disagree, but I don't have to voice it. My husband is the head of the household. Traditional marriage has worked for eons, throughout all sorts of change, and it shouldn't and won't change with the 21st Century. I'm happy and fulfilled in my marriage and isn't that what all of us want?

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

I guess if you're happy with being below him, then that's fine. Being third in command, instead of second in command just because I was a woman would probably make me upset. If I was in your shoes, I'd want to be treated as an equal to my husband, but I'm not a Christian or a lady. :shrug:

You're right. Being happy and fulfilled in your marriage is important, and if that's how you want it, then have it.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: An Introduction

I guess if you're happy with being below him, then that's fine. Being third in command, instead of second in command just because I was a woman would probably make me upset. If I was in your shoes, I'd want to be treated as an equal to my husband, but I'm not a Christian or a lady. :shrug:

You're right. Being happy and fulfilled in your marriage is important, and if that's how you want it, then have it.

Most importantly, though is that I'm serving Jesus and the Bible! "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." Matthew 22:37

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth