[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

How many were there, exactly, and whatever did the rest of them say?

There were 2 previous suitors. The first one broke off the courtship for a woman who was younger and had wider hips than Esther. He told me that he found Esther to be very Godly and extremely obedient. Her second courtship only lasted a few weeks because it was revealed that that suitor was into perversions that will not be mentioned so as not to cause you or any other woman any distress. I haven't spoken to him because I don't want to be exposed to whatever demons have control over him, but a Godly cousin of his told me that Esther is good at cooking and cleaning (which is true).

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

Thank you for the warning, Sister. I have heard from Esther's parents and from one of her previous suitors that she's very obedient, so I'm not too worried.

How many were there, exactly, and whatever did the rest of them say?

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

I'm sorry to announce that Naomi's pie shops have all burned to the ground.

What a shame! I was hoping for a chance to try a slice of her pie someday.

The Pastors and the DoF decide such matters in their own good time, Samuel. They might well be wary of giving such an award to an unmarried woman - indeed, in your shoes I would be extremely cautious about making assumptions. Many of our Brothers in Christ have married women who appeared, before the wedding, to be models of obedience, only to discover - too late! - the lesson of Proverbs 27:15-16

A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.

Not that I am suggesting that this might happen to you. I am just saying....

YiC
Joanna

Thank you for the warning, Sister. I have heard from Esther's parents and from one of her previous suitors that she's very obedient, so I'm not too worried.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

My apologies for double posting, but I have a question. Who should I message about getting Esther the Most Obedient award?

The Pastors and the DoF decide such matters in their own good time, Samuel. They might well be wary of giving such an award to an unmarried woman - indeed, in your shoes I would be extremely cautious about making assumptions. Many of our Brothers in Christ have married women who appeared, before the wedding, to be models of obedience, only to discover - too late! - the lesson of Proverbs 27:15-16

A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.

Not that I am suggesting that this might happen to you. I am just saying....

YiC
Joanna

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

I'm sorry to announce that Naomi's pie shops have all burned to the ground.

How unfortunate! Did it happen because after she refused to pay her annual fire insurance to the Freehold Insurance Company? I told her that this decision was like playing with fire!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

That would be lovely, Sister! I think Samuel should come so he can stop at Naomi's pie shop.

I'm sorry to announce that Naomi's pie shops have all burned to the ground.

[Esther B.]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

Samuel, may I kindly suggest that next time you speak to her father, that you send Esther to my house for a couple weeks! I have much to show and teach her -- books are good and such, but being in person is so much nicer! If you would like to come, you are welcome -- but clearly, I'd keep you and Esther in separate wings and I'd keep the key to her room.

That would be lovely, Sister! I think Samuel should come so he can stop at Naomi's pie shop.

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

My apologies for double posting, but I have a question. Who should I message about getting Esther the Most Obedient award?

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

Samuel, may I kindly suggest that next time you speak to her father, that you send Esther to my house for a couple weeks! I have much to show and teach her -- books are good and such, but being in person is so much nicer! If you would like to come, you are welcome -- but clearly, I'd keep you and Esther in separate wings and I'd keep the key to her room.

Her father is asleep right now, but I will definitely suggest it to him. Esther speaks quite highly of you, so I'm sure she will be pleased.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

Thank you, Mrs. Johnson! I will try my best. Also, thank you for sending her the recipe for the stuffed pork loins. They were delicious.

Samuel, may I kindly suggest that next time you speak to her father, that you send Esther to my house for a couple weeks! I have much to show and teach her -- books are good and such, but being in person is so much nicer! If you would like to come, you are welcome -- but clearly, I'd keep you and Esther in separate wings and I'd keep the key to her room.

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

Responsibility and accountability. Good things in a Christian. I wish more were.

As far as Esthers constant dumb clucking, I sometimes apply peanut butter to the roof of my wife, Mrs. Hutchins mouth. It stops the noise and is interesting to see her lick her dentures trying to get it off.

That's a great idea! I think I'll try it next time Esther starts rambling about her hair or her skin or whatever she rambles about.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

As far as Esthers constant dumb clucking, I sometimes apply peanut butter to the roof of my wife, Mrs. Hutchins mouth. It stops the noise and is interesting to see her lick her dentures trying to get it off.

I'm sorry to laugh about such a serious matter, Brother James, but that's exactly what my boys do to the neighbor's cats, to stop them doing their foul business on our land.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

Forgive me for not replying to your post sooner, Mr. Hutchins, I was distracted by Esther's yapping and didn't realize that you posted. That's odd, I remember planning out my tithing schedule last night. Perhaps the computers in Esther's house are too slow. I will get on it ASAP.

Responsibility and accountability. Good things in a Christian. I wish more were.

As far as Esthers constant dumb clucking, I sometimes apply peanut butter to the roof of my wife, Mrs. Hutchins mouth. It stops the noise and is interesting to see her lick her dentures trying to get it off.

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

Welcome Mr. Hubbard. I did not see your name on the 'Friends of Landover' Tithing schedule nor have I seen any line items reflecting a gift Of Godly Love to the Pastors Discretionary fund. I'd like to know, how much do you love Gods Majesty?

Forgive me for not replying to your post sooner, Mr. Hutchins, I was distracted by Esther's yapping and didn't realize that you posted. That's odd, I remember planning out my tithing schedule last night. Perhaps the computers in Esther's house are too slow. I will get on it ASAP.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel

I prefer the Smith and Wessons.

I favor the Smith and Wesson myself. In my youth, I used to carry around a heavy Colt .45, probably just to impress myself, but I have found that the S&W .38 Special/.357 Magnum will dissuade even the most recalcitrant wretch and even the odd unruly bear. It is lighter in weight and less expensive to replace, should it become necessary to dispose of the weapon. Many of the younger generation seem to carry around those new automatic pistols. Those are fine for target practice and fancy shooting, but they lack authority. I know attitudes change, but in my youth, only sissies carried around automatic pistols.