Howdy, hello, and good day!

[Gary Templeton]

Before I say anything more, I just want to tell you all how jazzed (please excuse my language!) I am to find a community like this in the secular cesspool that is the Inter-Nets. You should all give yourselves a hearty pat on the back!

Well, shucks, what can I say? I'm just a humble pilgrim trying as best I can to live my life as God commands. That's not an easy thing to do in today's world, as you well know. Some time ago my "son" came out as a homo-sexual to my wife and I, and it took years of prayer and barrels of Oxycontin to get us through it, but by golly we made it! You can read my wife Virginia's account of our struggle here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A3JJ8SC2XV13AD/ref=cm_cr_auth/102-6196384-7781740

As you can see, our former son's suicide took an enormous burden off our shoulders, and we're much happier now knowing that his soul is roasting in the bowels of Hell, receiving all the sodomy he ever wanted and then some from the yard-long barbed penes of Satan's minions. Though we've retired from our full-time jobs, we've recently begun a new business venture in our lovely Christian™ bookstore, which is really blossoming under the guidance of the Lord! Sorry if I'm rambling, but I just thought I'd let you know a little about me before I began to share my little pearls of wisdom.

Your brother in Christ,
Gary Templeton

[Brother Love]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Well....well...well....I see ya buy into the "therapy" garbage of the SECULAR HEATHENS who live tryin to do all things themselves and without GOD. And it all ended up with your youngin blowin his brains out in the woods behind your house. Why didn't ya taken him to a GODLY FAITH HEALER like ME? Why didn't ya bring him to one of my SALVATION SHOWS? I see these SSA types all the time and during the HEALING and PRAISING part of our SERVICES the LORD JESUS casts the DEMONS right out of these HOMERSEXUAL SODOMITES!! I've seen it time and time again so next time I suggest you bring him to a HEALER and EVANGELIST of the LORD and forget the "therapy."

Sorry to be so forward with ya but that's jist the way I am when it comes to things like this. I feel sorry for your loss and pray that the LORD comfort ya'll. But, then again, I see where you feel a great burden was lifted off your shoulders.

[Gary Templeton]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Well, that's a different way of looking at it! Unfortunately, we were living in godless New Jersey at the time, where the churches are run by liberals and the holy water stinks of sodomite semen. A loving sancshuary like Landover was simply not available to us.

The only "loss" we suffered was the cost of his funeral! And our dignity. But thanks none the less.

Gary

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Your brother in Christ,
Gary Templeton

Welcome aboard, Brother Gary. Without wishing to sound too forward, I trust you have set up arrangements for your tithe?

[Enobarbus]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Well, that's a different way of looking at it! Unfortunately, we were living in godless New Jersey at the time, where the churches are run by liberals and the holy water stinks of sodomite semen. A loving sancshuary like Landover was simply not available to us.

The only "loss" we suffered was the cost of his funeral! And our dignity. But thanks none the less.

Gary

Holy water? You used to go to a Cathylick Church? Your background reeks of hidieous sin, my friend. You will need to do a lot of repenting an tithing to expiate this sort of vile background.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Well, that's a different way of looking at it! Unfortunately, we were living in godless New Jersey at the time, where the churches are run by liberals and the holy water stinks of sodomite semen. A loving sancshuary like Landover was simply not available to us.

The only "loss" we suffered was the cost of his funeral! And our dignity. But thanks none the less.

Gary

I'm a little concerned too, about your name, and the fact that the DOF's computers have down as a female. Perhaps there has been some clerical mistake? Perhaps it's your wife Virginia who is the wanton and lustful tart?

[Ixi]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Well, that's a different way of looking at it! Unfortunately, we were living in godless New Jersey at the time, where the churches are run by liberals and the holy water stinks of sodomite semen. A loving sancshuary like Landover was simply not available to us.

The only "loss" we suffered was the cost of his funeral! And our dignity. But thanks none the less.

Gary

Don't become Christain Gary! Can't you see what you'll sacrifice to do this?

[Brother Love]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Well, that's a different way of looking at it! Unfortunately, we were living in godless New Jersey at the time, where the churches are run by liberals and the holy water stinks of sodomite semen. A loving sancshuary like Landover was simply not available to us.

The only "loss" we suffered was the cost of his funeral! And our dignity. But thanks none the less.

Gary

God-LESS Jersey!! Ain't that where that HOMERSEXUAL Episcopal bishop is and his SODOMITE lover?

[Brother Love]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Don't become Christain Gary! Can't you see what you'll sacrifice to do this?

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!

GET BEHIND ME SATAN'S HARLOT!!

[Enobarbus]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Don't become Christain Gary! Can't you see what you'll sacrifice to do this?

You be quiet you Godless little witch. You simply want to take Gary down to the pits with yourself and Satan. With The Lord Gary will eventually enter the pearly gates of Heaven and live for all eternity in Bliss. With you and Satan it will be an eternity of excruciating pain. It's not that Gary is going to enjoy an eternity of sodomy!

[Gary Templeton]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

I'm a little concerned too, about your name, and the fact that the DOF's computers have down as a female. Perhaps there has been some clerical mistake? Perhaps it's your wife Virginia who is the wanton and lustful tart?

I don't have any idea why it says that I am a woman. I can most assuredly state that I am not. Of course all men are woman-like compared to the perfect masculity of GOD. But I do infact posses, pardon me, the male parts of the body.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

I don't have any idea why it says that I am a woman. I can most assuredly state that I am not. Of course all men are woman-like compared to the perfect masculity of GOD. But I do infact posses, pardon me, the male parts of the body.

I don't think the name Pussywhipped helps... But well see about changing it later.

You are not an Hermaphrodite or anything like that, I hope?

[Gary Templeton]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

No, like I said I have only male body parts. The name that I chose was supposed to be funny, "pussy whipped" is what young people say when a man devotes him self entirely to a woman. Of course we know that is wrong, the only one to whom we should devote our selves to is JESUS. Hence, my name. I am sorry if it offended you, some one can change it maybe, if you want. It's OK with me.

Gary

[Enobarbus]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

No, like I said I have only male body parts. The name that I chose was supposed to be funny, "pussy whipped" is what young people say when a man devotes him self entirely to a woman. Of course we know that is wrong, the only one to whom we should devote our selves to is JESUS. Hence, my name. I am sorry if it offended you, some one can change it maybe, if you want. It's OK with me.

Gary

Oh, yes, I have heard that before, now you mention it. I have to leave now, but if you are to progress in the faith we may need to look at a name more suitable to the tone of these Godly boards. Someone else may discuss this with you, or I will when I get back.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Howdy, hello, and good day!

Using slang is one of the most trusted ways to identify atheists, whether they be druggies, homers or even ignorant city-dwellers. I suggest you learn to speak the way God speaks, as delivered in the 1611 King James Version....