X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • God_Loving_101
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Dec 2013
    • 3
    #1

    Hello there

    I was just setting the microwave for my sons time in the praying closet when I remembered that I need to join another church forum. So I checked and apparently I joined this forum years ago, and I guess I was very stupid. But I'm back to spread the everlasting love of god.

    Tags: None
    • Brother Temperance
      Senior Usher
      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
      A very nice young man
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 15621
      #2
      Re: Hello there

      You're not doing a great job of it so far, friend. Why not tell us about your favourite Bible verse?
      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

        Comment

        • Phil Ander
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Jan 2016
          • 626
          #3
          Re: Hello there

          Originally posted by God_Loving_101 View Post
          I was just setting the microwave for my sons time in the praying closet when I remembered that I need to join another church forum. So I checked and apparently I joined this forum years ago, and I guess I was very stupid. But I'm back to spread the everlasting love of god.


          How old is your son? Once my son was older than 6 months I could no longer fit him in the microwave. Before then, whenever he cried, I'd give him a 10 second blast in the microwave to give him a "hell sampler" for disobedience. I know that 10 seconds is a mere slap on the wrist, but I didn't want to cook his ability to create soldiers for Christ in the future.


          Future proofing Phil
          58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


          Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61

            Comment

            • Kill_The_Jews
              Self-Hating Jew
              Unsaved trash
              • Jun 2016
              • 6
              #4
              Re: Hello there

              Originally posted by Phil Ander View Post
              How old is your son? Once my son was older than 6 months I could no longer fit him in the microwave. Before then, whenever he cried, I'd give him a 10 second blast in the microwave to give him a "hell sampler" for disobedience. I know that 10 seconds is a mere slap on the wrist, but I didn't want to cook his ability to create soldiers for Christ in the future.


              Future proofing Phil
              Your technique of cooking children is ingenious, our Lord's delegate Hitler used the same practice to cleanse Europe of the Jewish and dumb chicken-eating ***racial slur removed by moderator***. Unfortunately the Atheist communist scum and the ignorant buck-toothed Brits stopped our Lord's delegate. The Holocaust was merely a guise to justify stopping Hitler from helping the world. Look at the results today - Jewish children allowed to live in God'a world, ***racial slur removed by moderator*** making America terrible and in need to be sent to death camps, and disabled children who were born that way with no way to control it allowed to evenI've one second. We must take God's advice and purge these heretics.
              This space reserved for Scripture only -- admin

                Comment

                • Mary Etheldreda
                  Gushing for Jesus
                   
                  • Sep 2011
                  • 23775
                  #5
                  Re: Hello there

                  Nonsense. Hitler was a cracker-munching Catholic who believed Mary was his ghost-mother, and Jesus lives in a monstrance. He was partly Jewish himself, which was probably why he was such a gifted liar (John 8:44).
                  Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                    Comment

                    Previous template Next
                    Working...