Greetings to All

[Brock Landers]

Until recently I was a long-haired, pot smoking, alcoholic. One night, I came home in a drug addled drunken stupor and passed out on the couch with the TV blaring. When I awoke, there was a 700 Club marathon playing and I could not find my remote control anywhere.


I was far too inebriated to get up and change the channel myself, so I lay there for hours watching and listening. At some point I feel asleep again, and when I woke up I was a changed man. I immediately got a haircut, changed my voter registration to Republican, and joined the National Rifle Association.


My favorite Bible verse is Luke 22:36 ”Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.”, because I really like weapons.


I have not found a suitable church to attend yet, because the only churches around her are either Papist or some kind of creepy Jehovah's Witness thing, and I know I will burn in Hell if I set foot in one of those places.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Greetings to All

Welcome, Mr. Landers. We rejoice that you have shed Satan's jeweled crown and come to Jesus. I grieve with you that there are no True Christian churches in your area, but sadly, that is the case in many areas. Where do you reside? I assume it is California or some where else on the northeast or west coasts of America. Those places are overtaken by Satan. I suggest you move away from the Yankee areas. You will find that most of America is quite different than the wretched hell hole you are forced to live in.


God Bless.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Greetings to All

Hello Mr. Landers, and welcome to our friendly forum! You sound quite responsible, and earnest in your search. If you have indeed been made into a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), then no doubt you'll be on the lookout for a young bride! Tell us, what do you think you can bring to a Christian home?

[Brock Landers]

Re: Greetings to All

Thank you both for the warm welcome.

@Alvin Moss
I'm not in California, but I'm in a place almost as bad. I'm trapped behind enemy lines in heathen infested Illinois.


@Mary Etheldreda
I would very much like to get married and teach many sons how to shoot. It's a dream of mine to open a machine gun range for preschoolers.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Greetings to All

Greetings Brock. I know how you feel being trapped behind enemy lines. I am also trapped here in Babylon among white people who hate the Black man. I am working hard to make America a better place by disarming the police and keeping them out of Black neighborhoods. Since you live in the hometown of President Barak Obama I am sure that you know about the brutality of the police toward the Black man. Black people are very peaceful if left to their own business. These Baptist people here are the least racist of all the white people in America and I am trying to help them to a better overstanding of Black people. I am not a Baptist but I am a Christian. I am Rastafari. I am sad to hear that you have given up the ganja. It is very valuable for illuminating the slavish mentality.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Greetings to All

Until recently I was a long-haired, pot smoking, alcoholic. One night, I came home in a drug addled drunken stupor and passed out on the couch with the TV blaring. When I awoke, there was a 700 Club marathon playing and I could not find my remote control anywhere.


I was far too inebriated to get up and change the channel myself, so I lay there for hours watching and listening. At some point I feel asleend when I woke up I was a changed man. I immediately got a haircut, changed my voter registration to Republican, and joined the National Rifle Association.


My favorite Bible verse is Luke 22:36 ”Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.”, because I really like weapons.


I have not found a suitable church to attend yet, because the only churches around her are either Papist or some kind of creepy Jehovah's Witness thing, and I know I will burn in Hell if I set foot in one of those places.

Welcome young man!

You are fortunate that you still have your health.

3 John 2: "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."

Myself, I was not so lucky. It was only after my choice to be gay, and the impact of decades of homo-rectal intercourse, that I turned to Jesus, when mortal death was to be the outcome of my lifestyle.

It took looking at death, face down on a seedy motel mattress, to change my mind and my choices.

I always thought that being gay was fun. Lots of drugs, dozens of homosexual partners every day. There was some pleasure when I had ten men in my bed at any moment. Oh, the thrusting and ejaculations. I thought I was on top of the world.

Then, the diagnosis of rectumosis. My surgeon gave me a Bible before they put me under. What I remember most is how much God hated me for my filthy choices.

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

And I have been fag-free now for almost 30 years. Praise God!

In Him

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Greetings to All

Welcome, Brother Landers


Are you related to the feminist Ann Landers, who dished out godless advice in newspaper columns for many years? While this woman had already died and gone to hell before I was old enough to be influenced by her lies, my parents were always reading and making fun of her. I hope that you are not of the same lineage.


I trust you were moved by the testimony of Brother Harold Porter. I long to be taught by Brother Harold; to be at his feet learning how to be a real man of God would be a unique privilege and blessing.


The Bible tells us to not forsake the assembling of ourselves to worship the LORD, so I urge you to travel to the nearest city with a Bible based Baptist church very soon. (Hebrews 10:25) It is so important to fellowship with other men on your knees and receive the bread of the Word. (John 6:33)


Hallelujah, Brother: you have found a friendly, welcoming place where your soul can profit much from sound Bible teaching and your heart can be warmed by the friendship of like-minded men. I pray that you find a submissive woman, young of age with child bearing hips to supply many soldiers for Christ's kingdom.


COME, LORD JESUS!,
BrotherLarry

[Brock Landers]

Re: Greetings to All

@I Man Rastafari
Thank you for the welcome. I am sorry you have to be a Negro. One of your ancestors must have done something very bad for you to be so afflicted.

@Brother Harold Porter
Thank you for the welcome and the beautiful testimony. I am so glad that you were delivered from your life of butt piracy and were able to put all of your problems behind you.

@Brother Larry
Thank you for the welcome. I am glad to say that I am not related to that evil columnist Ann Landers. That was just a pen name to conceal her true identity. In real life she was a joo named "Eppie" Lederer.

I will continue my search to find a Bible based church in my area, but I must say I am getting discouraged. I thought I had found a good church a couple of weeks ago, and I showed up 20 minutes before the service with great anticipation. Imagine my shock and disgust when I saw that the "Pastor" was a woman.

She had one of those sneaky first names that could belong to either a man or a woman. If I had been paying closer attention, I would have been tipped off by the fact that one of the cars in the parking lot had a 'Rubio for President" sticker on its bumper.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Greetings to All

I will continue my search to find a Bible based church in my area, but I must say I am getting discouraged. I thought I had found a good church a couple of weeks ago, and I showed up 20 minutes before the service with great anticipation. Imagine my shock and disgust when I saw that the "Pastor" was a woman.

She had one of those sneaky first names that could belong to either a man or a woman. If I had been paying closer attention, I would have been tipped off by the fact that one of the cars in the parking lot had a 'Rubio for President" sticker on its bumper.

Goodness, what a struggle! I find when I'm feeling lost or confused, I simply drop everything and pray. It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing. Jesus has never steered me wrong because He loves me. I've not yet been called to make contact with a sinner like other Driver Prayer Warriors, but I know if I do make contact, it is His Will and I pray His Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

Anyway, it's not just when I'm driving. I stop whatever I'm doing when my spirit compels me to take my problems to the Throne Room of Heaven. I physically stop, close my eyes, drop to my knees, and mentally wash the feet of my Lord and Savior with liquid prayer. I tune out everything around me: shoppers at the market; the people in line at the post office; the doctor telling me the conspiracy theories he's bought about vaccinating my children, whatever. It doesn't matter. I'm in the presence of my King and nothing on earth can distract me from that. I don't care what people think about me, I know that I have the peace they don't and all their reprimanding me, warning me of oncoming traffic, yelling at me, mocking me and screaming they'll call children's services to take away my children won't get in the way of my prayers. I am commanded to pray always, and so I do. I can't help it if my groaning and moaning can't be understood by people around me. Paul tells us this is to be expected (Romans 8:26). I swear, if one more person calls the ambulance about a "woman having an epileptic seizure in the middle of the crosswalk" one more time, I'll get very cross. They won't know what kind of force they'd be dealing with when the Daughter of the King comes with all the power and might of Heaven and unleashes the Wrath of God like the fury of a thousand warrior angels!

But I digress. The point is, Jesus always answers me. I pray He will answer you, too.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Greetings to All

Brother Landers,


Thank you for educating me about the joo woman. I had no idea and frankly had little interest in investigating her background. All I know now is that she is burning in hell if she didn't repent of her sins. (2 Thessalonians 1:8,9)


You would do well to try Sister Mary's suggestion about prayer. She isn't just making this up as we've all heard stories of her impromptu prayer sessions, from the school supplies store (she home schools and needs stuff now and then) to the grocery (the bread aisle seems to inspire most of her prayer time there) to the hardware store (where she puts on the whole armour of God, and she's not afraid to use a power drill if need be). As she said, JESUS ALWAYS ANSWERS.


I've heard some say, "I'm seeking the face of God on this matter," or "I just can't find the will of GOD." When it comes to something as important as regular church attendance, it matters little whether you can find God. The thing to remember is HE KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE. He has known us forever (Isaiah 44:24) and no matter how much we try to hide from Him, He can locate us in a millisecond. Surely, then, He can help you find a church home.


Until then, continue to worship with us, praising Jesus in all things, for He is worthy. GREAT is the LORD, and GREATLY to be PRAISED.
Hallelujah!


COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

[Brock Landers]

Re: Greetings to All

@Mary Etheldreda, BrotherLarry

Thank you for the encouragement. I will include my search for a Godly Church in my prayers. Lately, all of my prayers have been devoted to asking HIM to send a lightning bolt or meteor to smite all of the Philistines that are trying to stop Donald Trump from achieving his rightful role as our President. I need to remember that HE can do many things at once. Thanks again for the reminder.

Brother Landers

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Greetings to All

@I Man Rastafari
Thank you for the welcome. I am sorry you have to be a Negro. One of your ancestors must have done something very bad for you to be so afflicted.

It is difficult to be a Black man in the white man's world but I am still quite happy to be one of the chosen people of Jah who is also a Black man like me. My ancestors were fighting off lions and other dangers and ruling the known world when the white man showed up to rob us to America to be slaves. Soon we will return to the rule of Africa and then the rest of the world which is how Jah intended the world to be.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Greetings to All

Brick, I'm unclear as to why you wrote a long description of yourself getting drunk and watching television? Were you drunk when you typed that stuff? When (or if) you sober up, you might realize the stories you tell when you're drunk aren't that interesting to people who aren't themselves intoxicated.

How about putting down that bottle and picking up a Bible?