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  • Santa Claus
    Unsaved Trash, Obese Child-Molesting Demon
    • Dec 1971
    • 213
    #1

    MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

    Ho Ho Ho!

    How's everybody doing? I need no introduction. You all know who I am. And I'm sure you all love me. We'll get along famously! As for Jesus, I've got nothing against the guy. I am of course more popular. Just look at all the kids who love me!

    I do have a favorite verse of the Bible, though. Matthew 2:11 "    And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh" Seriously. I was there. The story is twisted but who do you think brought all those nice things to baby Jesus? It was me!

    I have billions of followers who have seen me. Generations of kids have talked to me and touched me. What has Jesus to offer? He had only >500 people who saw him alive after he was dead. I have billions! Who do your kids write to? Me, not Jesus! What does he promise? Something in heaven. I not only promise. I deliver! I bring happiness to all of you every year!

    I do respect Jesus, too. We both follow your every step and see who's naughty and who's nice. I hope you're all going to be nice and I can bring you lots of nice stuff in just 10 days!

    I'm so happy to be here, my friends!
    Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
    Tags: None
    • Faith_Machine
      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 10050
      #2
      Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

      Hello, this is the introduction forum. Please tell us about your walk with Jesus. What church do you attend? Are you married? Do you have children? What line of work are you in?
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment

        • Santa Claus
          Unsaved Trash, Obese Child-Molesting Demon
          • Dec 1971
          • 213
          #3
          Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
          Hello, this is the introduction forum. Please tell us about your walk with Jesus. What church do you attend? Are you married? Do you have children? What line of work are you in?
          Ho Ho Ho!

          It's Little Faith! I remember you well, such a cute boy you were! Do you still have the video camera that I gave you in the 80's? You were so thrilled to get it! You were going to record some cheerleading contests if I remember correctly. Weren't you also in the squad?

          I never walked with Jesus, as he was just a little baby when we met and he could not yet walk. I work in the gift item industry. The missus helps me. Instead of conventional children we have elfs.
          Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!

            Comment

            • Marshal Kim Jong-un
              Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
              • Dec 2016
              • 215
              #4
              Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

              Originally posted by Santa Claus View Post
              Ho Ho Ho!

              How's everybody doing? I need no introduction. You all know who I am. And I'm sure you all love me. We'll get along famously! As for Jesus, I've got nothing against the guy. I am of course more popular. Just look at all the kids who love me!

              I do have a favorite verse of the Bible, though. Matthew 2:11 "              And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh" Seriously. I was there. The story is twisted but who do you think brought all those nice things to baby Jesus? It was me!

              I have billions of followers who have seen me. Generations of kids have talked to me and touched me. What has Jesus to offer? He had only >500 people who saw him alive after he was dead. I have billions! Who do your kids write to? Me, not Jesus! What does he promise? Something in heaven. I not only promise. I deliver! I bring happiness to all of you every year!

              I do respect Jesus, too. We both follow your every step and see who's naughty and who's nice. I hope you're all going to be nice and I can bring you lots of nice stuff in just 10 days!

              I'm so happy to be here, my friends!
              Hello Santa Claus! I remember when on Kimilsungmas you brought me my first basketball! Glory to you Santa Claus for wearing red to glorify the socialist revolution! Ho ho ho!
              "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

              I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

                Comment

                • Roland
                  Obese Swedish Meatball
                  Delusional Forum Member
                  • May 2014
                  • 2193
                  #5
                  Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

                  Originally posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un View Post
                  Hello Santa Claus! I remember when on Kimilsungmas you brought me my first basketball! Glory to you Santa Claus for wearing red to glorify the socialist revolution! Ho ho ho!
                  As you are only taking away, letting people suffer in poverty, why do you think you have something in common with a guy supposedly handing out presents? At least Santa doesn´t rob you blind.
                  Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

                  Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.

                    Comment

                    • Marshal Kim Jong-un
                      Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
                      • Dec 2016
                      • 215
                      #6
                      Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

                      Originally posted by Roland View Post
                      As you are only taking away, letting people suffer in poverty, why do you think you have something in common with a guy supposedly handing out presents? At least Santa doesn´t rob you blind.
                      Friend, you are brainwashed by western propaganda, there are areas of the DPRK that are in poverty, and I do not deny this, however, it will because for the sanctions placed on us by imperialists. I have done my best to lead the country through these tough times. If you go to Koryotours, you can visit and see for yourself how the bright candle of the Juche socialist revolution has shone through the darkness of imperialism and capitalism that have plagued Korea. Soon, Korea will be reunified. Imperialist pig-dog prostitute Park Geun-hye already talks impeachment. However, until that day, we will remain strong and vigilant as we stand together in arms against imperialism, capitalism, tyranny and injustice! Long live the Eternal President Kim Il-sung, my noble father Kim Jong-il, the Workers' Party of Korea (as well as our Social Democratic and Chendoist comrades), and the Juche socialist revolution!
                      "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

                      I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

                        Comment

                        • Roland
                          Obese Swedish Meatball
                          Delusional Forum Member
                          • May 2014
                          • 2193
                          #7
                          Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

                          Originally posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un View Post
                          Friend, you are brainwashed [...]
                          Hello un,

                          Please don´t act like a toddler who soiled his pants. The only thing North Korea has to show for is extreme poverty, luxury for the party members who happen to be so lucky not to be found guilty for merely slightly offending your namesake and getting executed in the process, and of course concentration camps. After the Germans did the latter between 1940-1945 most people considered those ¨not done¨. But not you. You keep taking the route of Lenin, Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and keep on imprisoning, torturing and killing people. You just won´t learn.

                          May reciprocity set you straight*,

                          Roland

                          *Exodus 21:24
                          Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

                          Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.

                            Comment

                            • Marshal Kim Jong-un
                              Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
                              • Dec 2016
                              • 215
                              #8
                              Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

                              Originally posted by Roland View Post
                              Hello un,

                              Please don´t act like a toddler who soiled his pants. The only thing North Korea has to show for is extreme poverty, luxury for the party members who happen to be so lucky not to be found guilty for merely slightly offending your namesake and getting executed in the process, and of course concentration camps. After the Germans did the latter between 1940-1945 most people considered those ¨not done¨. But not you. You keep taking the route of Lenin, Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and keep on imprisoning, torturing and killing people. You just won´t learn.

                              May reciprocity set you straight*,

                              Roland

                              *Exodus 21:24
                              Friend, I am already tell you imperialist sanctions are the reasons why areas in DPRK are in poverty. I do not imprison, torture or kill innocent people. You have no proof of that. You have been brainwashed by liberal propaganda and right-wing lies. The murderers are the United States who fund the genocide of innocent Palestinians by IsraHELL. Lenin was a great man. It makes me laugh how liberals insult him, and yet admire people like Christopher Columbus who massacred native americans, and Winston Churchill who supported the gassing of "uncivilised tribes".
                              "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

                              I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

                                Comment

                                • Faith_Machine
                                  Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Mar 2011
                                  • 10050
                                  #9
                                  Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

                                  So we've got a bunch of fakers and liars here, pretending to be something they're not. You can't lie to God, boys. He sees right through you.

                                  Repent and beg His forgiveness while you can.
                                  WARNING:
                                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                                    Comment

                                    • Marshal Kim Jong-un
                                      Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
                                      • Dec 2016
                                      • 215
                                      #10
                                      Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

                                      Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                                      So we've got a bunch of fakers and liars here, pretending to be something they're not. You can't lie to God, boys. He sees right through you.

                                      Repent and beg His forgiveness while you can.
                                      I will never. If there is a god, then when I stand before him, he will beg for my forgiveness. As I say, the power of the Juche socialist revolution will crush your puny god.
                                      "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

                                      I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

                                        Comment

                                        • handmaiden
                                          Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                                          True Christian™
                                          • May 2010
                                          • 11403
                                          #11
                                          Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

                                          Originally posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un View Post
                                          I will never. If there is a god, then when I stand before him, he will beg for my forgiveness. As I say, the power of the Juche socialist revolution will crush your puny god.
                                          Our God is NOT puny!


                                          Psalm 50:1
                                          The mighty God, even the Lord, hath spoken, and called the earth from the rising of the sun unto the going down thereof.



                                          Our God is a mighty God and you are a deluded nut-case. Enjoy your rancid cabbage.


                                          Pleasantly Yours,
                                          Handmaiden
                                          His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                                          Guns For God and the Economy

                                            Comment

                                            • Marshal Kim Jong-un
                                              Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
                                              • Dec 2016
                                              • 215
                                              #12
                                              Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Ho Ho Ho!

                                              Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
                                              Our God is NOT puny!


                                              Psalm 50:1
                                              The mighty God, even the Lord, hath spoken, and called the earth from the rising of the sun unto the going down thereof.



                                              Our God is a mighty God and you are a deluded nut-case. Enjoy your rancid cabbage.


                                              Pleasantly Yours,
                                              Handmaiden











                                              "The fictitious Judeo-Christian God is a silly little idiot with hands tinier than Donald Trump and a brain tinier than him too. Kim Il-sung could kick his ass any day of the week." - Psalm 50:1, Bible (KJV - Kim Jong-un Version)
                                              "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

                                              I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

                                                Comment

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