X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • HellJell-o
    Unsaved trash
    • Dec 2015
    • 12

    #1

    10 Facts About A Godless Heathen

    1) I support abortion
    2) I'm a Democrat
    3) I'm 24 and not married, and not a virgin
    4) I'm a LaVeyan Satanist
    5) I practice magick
    6) I work as a doctor for Planned Parenthood
    7) I'm covered with tattoos and piercings
    8) I have a pet snake named Judas
    9) I turn crosses upside down when I see one
    10) I masturbate regularly
  • ScotJim
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Nov 2014
    • 16

    #2
    Re: 10 Facts About A Godless Heathen

    Originally posted by HellYeah View Post
    1) I support abortion
    2) I'm a Democrat
    3) I'm 24 and not married, and not a virgin
    4) I'm a LaVeyan Satanist
    5) I practice magick
    6) I work as a doctor for Planned Parenthood
    7) I'm covered with tattoos and piercings
    8) I have a pet snake named Judas
    9) I turn crosses upside down when I see one
    10) I masturbate regularly
    I don't see how this contributes to discussions regarding the true Christian faith? However this does seem like petty taunting, an attempt I will expect you will find will fail miserably as Jesus teaches all of his children to rise above such childish, ignorant comments.

    Comment

    • handmaiden
      Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
      True Christian™
      • May 2010
      • 11603

      #3
      Re: 10 Facts About A Godless Heathen

      Originally posted by HellYeah View Post
      1) I support abortion
      2) I'm a Democrat
      3) I'm 24 and not married, and not a virgin
      4) I'm a LaVeyan Satanist
      5) I practice magick
      6) I work as a doctor for Planned Parenthood
      7) I'm covered with tattoos and piercings
      8) I have a pet snake named Judas
      9) I turn crosses upside down when I see one
      10) I masturbate regularly
      All you really need to do is plainly state, "I neither believe nor do I obey the Bible 100%".


      This puts you in clear and direct opposition with the official position espoused by Landover Baptist.


      There is no need for lurid details. The Bible makes it clear that Eve disobeyed the Lord and tasted of the fruit specifically forbidden. It doesn't go into vivid details about her firm you-know-whats-its, nor are we given any descriptions of Adam's manly form. We can infer that he had no belly button since he was not born of the womb.


      All the story needs to relate to get God's point across is that they disobeyed. You disobey God, too. Nobody is going to throw you a parade for standing up to the scary folks at LBC (you were sitting down at a keyboard anyway) and nobody at LBC is going to condemn you to hell.


      The Bible condemns you to hell and, again, not for any of your top ten reasons. We here at LBC will point out the passages that offer a ticket to travel in the other direction. We can't buy the ticket for you or place it in your hand. You can't even buy the ticket. You have to walk up to Jesus and ask for the ticket. Then you have to keep walking in the right direction until it's time to board the train. If you veer off the path, you could hand your ticket to the wrong person and board a train that will make a few snazzy turns and head right down to hell where you were headed before anyway.


      I hope this clarifies a few things.


      Notbothered to be offendedly Yours,
      Handmaiden
      His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

      Guns For God and the Economy

      Comment

      • Marshal Kim Jong-un
        Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
        • Dec 2016
        • 215

        #4
        Re: 10 Facts About A Godless Heathen

        Originally posted by HellYeah View Post
        1) I support abortion
        2) I'm a Democrat
        3) I'm 24 and not married, and not a virgin
        4) I'm a LaVeyan Satanist
        5) I practice magick
        6) I work as a doctor for Planned Parenthood
        7) I'm covered with tattoos and piercings
        8) I have a pet snake named Judas
        9) I turn crosses upside down when I see one
        10) I masturbate regularly
        Hello friend. You seem like a really nice person, but why is you a Democrat? Does you not know that this party will very similar to the Republican party in that they promote capitalism and imperialism? They rigged the primaries against Bernie Sanders and WikiLeaks proved this!!
        "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

        I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.

        Comment

        Working...