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  • Leroy Dwayne
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Sep 2008
    • 2
    #1

    Greetings

    Hello, Landover Baptist Church.
    I am a salesman for a large Ag. Equipment Distributor, and my job sometimes takes me around the globe.
    Now, there are many temptations for a single man in the world, and I've succumbed to my share...A friend of mine suggested maybe I should re-evaluate my life and get right with the Lord.
    He said that since I'm on the road so much I should find an online Baptist church to join.
    Landover Baptist was among the first to come up on the search, and though I haven't had much of a chance to browse your forums, I have a good feeling this may be the right church for me!

    Truly, Leroy Dwayne.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: Greetings

      Originally posted by Leroy Dwayne View Post
      Hello, Landover Baptist Church.
      I am a salesman for a large Ag. Equipment Distributor, and my job sometimes takes me around the globe.
      Now, there are many temptations for a single man in the world, and I've succumbed to my share...A friend of mine suggested maybe I should re-evaluate my life and get right with the Lord.
      He said that since I'm on the road so much I should find an online Baptist church to join.
      Landover Baptist was among the first to come up on the search, and though I haven't had much of a chance to browse your forums, I have a good feeling this may be the right church for me!

      Truly, Leroy Dwayne.
      Welcome sir, to God's favorite forum. Feel free to have a look around.

      Please tell us about yourself. How old are you? Have you heard the Good News about Jesus Christ? What sins have you been involved in? Don't spare us the details, Jesus want's to know.

      Why did your parents give you a negro name?
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Leroy Dwayne
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Sep 2008
          • 2
          #3
          Re: Greetings

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          Welcome sir, to God's favorite forum. Feel free to have a look around.

          Please tell us about yourself. How old are you? Have you heard the Good News about Jesus Christ? What sins have you been involved in? Don't spare us the details, Jesus want's to know.

          Why did your parents give you a negro name?
          Well hello, Pastor Ezekiel! I am 48 yrs young, and don't feel a day older! As for my offshore transgressions, I'm not sure if I can bring myself to describe them on a family forum such as yours, but if Jesus wants to know, perhaps a PG version....

          Negro name...??? Really?

            Comment

            • Sledge Riprock
              The Lord's Favorite Head Trauma Victim
              Forum Member
              • Aug 2008
              • 188
              #4
              Re: Greetings

              If I'm not mistaken, this fine young gentleman has enough names for two colored boys. Leroy Johnson, a scary negro character from that hit 80's Secular Teen Film "Fame!" His tagline was "I's young, I's single, and I loves to mingle!" He got one of the female leads pregnant, she had to quit school and not become "Famous." Then there's Dwayne Wade, a very large, very scary, and very rich negro basketball player. I do not believe he is a True Christian™. But welcome Leroy Dwayne! It's good to have you. Tell us of your indescretions, even in they have to be PG. But if it's at all possible, the Pastors prefer PG-13 at least.
              A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!

              Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16
              sigpic
              A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!

                Comment

                • Brother Guy Bayard
                  Anvil of the Antipodes
                  True Christian™
                  • Jul 2007
                  • 1271
                  #5
                  Re: Greetings

                  He sure sounds like a coloured boy...
                  The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
                  Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL

                    Comment

                    • Talitha
                      Deaconess
                      Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                      True Christian™
                      • Aug 2026
                      • 15118
                      #6
                      Re: Greetings

                      Well, Colored or not, welcome to God's favorite Forums. I guess that;s why it came up first in your search.
                      We're not racist here boy, so don't you be shy about telling the truth.
                      When did you give up your Colored Lifestyle? Did you attend any of the more well known Ex-Nigra Ministries? Are you completely white all over or a more Golden Caramel like our own Remy?
                      Do you still get urges to rape Christian White Women, play the Harmonica or Tap dance?

                      It's really nice to have you here with us True Christian(tm) White folks.

                      Sister Talitha

                      Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                      HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                      being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


                        Comment

                        • Nobar King
                          Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                          Christ's Guardian
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2007
                          • 23748
                          #7
                          Re: Greetings

                          I'm more interested in who your friend is who has such a strong influence on you.
                          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                            Comment

                            • Rev. M. Rodimer
                              Honorary True Christian™
                              Forum Member
                              • May 2008
                              • 13996
                              #8
                              Re: Greetings

                              Originally posted by Leroy Dwayne View Post
                              Well hello, Pastor Ezekiel! I am 48 yrs young, and don't feel a day older! As for my offshore transgressions, I'm not sure if I can bring myself to describe them on a family forum such as yours, but if Jesus wants to know, perhaps a PG version....
                              Welcome, Mr. Dwayne.

                              You may have noticed that it was required to submit your date of birth to register. People under the age of 18 are not permitted to post here.

                              You see, God's Word can be a bit much for children. The stories of incest (such as Lot's daughters getting their father drunk and impregnating themselves by way of him), genocide and rape (such as the fate of the Midianites, see Numbers 31), and commands to execute by stoning any number of disgusting sinners (sodomites, witches, adulterers, disobedient children, and certain rape victims) could be a bit disturbing. We know how children get when you discuss killing just one animal, much less thousands of animal sacrifices, pouring the blood upon God's altar in the Temple; of course there's that time when God drowned all the animals and all the people because the people weren't doing what He wanted them to do. Also, the image of Christ, Destroyer of Nations, who will slaughter 1/3 of all humanity at His return (see Revelation), might induce nightmares in younger kids.

                              So, you may feel free to discuss whatever you desire here, sir.

                              Welcome! Would you like to share with us your favorite Bible story or verse?
                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                Comment

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