I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

[WoodyUzimon6618]

Hello Landover Baptist Church. I am Woody Uzimon. I am 61 years old and I was born and raised in Stonework, Virginia. I was a Christian since the beginning. My parents were gay atheists. When I was born out of my father's eye socket I knew something wasn't right. My parents had rainbow-colored shirts, didn't carry the bible around, and sprouted tiny devil horns when God or Jesus was mentioned. When I arrived home from the Atheist Hospital my parents fitted me with gay pride infant clothes. I couldn't help but pray the gay away. Once the prayer was over I realized I prayed too hard. My parents fell over and they died. That experience is what made me become a Christian. I am a baptist for Jesus Himself Church in Virginia. i like to expose classic demonic possession in popular media and various different musicians. My friend Paul and I have a youtube-show dedicated to debunking a sinner known as "Weezer" as the devil he truly is. A link to that youtube-page is here. I hope to alert the believers on this site about the truly anti-Christian themes that some of your children are taking part in.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

Hello Mr. Uzimon and welcome to our friendly forum! I can assure you no True Christian™ lets their child engage in any demonic activities, however we do warn unsaved trash who sometimes stumble upon us about the perils of Satan. Usually they are here to vex us with foolishness and absurd stories, hoping, I suppose, to rattle us as if we're all desperately prudish pearl clutchers. They reveal their own stupidity as there's hardly any greater gore, horror, violence than can be found in Christ's own autobiography, the Holy Bible.

Anyway, why don't you tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. That would be a good place to start our new friendship!

[WoodyUzimon6618]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

Hello Mr. Uzimon and welcome to our friendly forum! I can assure you no True Christian™ lets their child engage in any demonic activities, however we do warn unsaved trash who sometimes stumble upon us about the perils of Satan. Usually they are here to vex us with foolishness and absurd stories, hoping, I suppose, to rattle us as if we're all desperately prudish pearl clutchers. They reveal their own stupidity as there's hardly any greater gore, horror, violence than can be found in Christ's own autobiography, the Holy Bible.

Anyway, why don't you tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. That would be a good place to start our new friendship!

Hello, Mary Etheldreda! I go to Jesus Himself Church in Virginia. My favorite bible verse is Matthew 12:43-45. I came to find Jesus with the story above.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

Mr. Uzimov,

Such an interesting choice for a verse in your post!

Psalms 66:18
If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

Would you be kind enough to share with us why you chose to cite this verse in your username?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[WoodyUzimon6618]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

Hello, Elmer G. White! I didn't expect WoodyUzimon to be available so I just picked those numbers.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

Hello, Elmer G. White! I didn't expect WoodyUzimon to be available so I just picked those numbers.

Dear friend,

You may think that you picked an arbitrary number but Jesus must have had His hands involved. Please study Psalms 66:18 very carefully. It is probably a message from Jesus. To you!

I can also see that your name 'Uzimon' is actually just 'Nomizu' spelled backwards. This also requires an explanation. 野水 Or no-mizu is, as you of course know, a Japanese surname that could be translated as the field of fresh water (field + cold water). Do you have an unnatural interest in Chinese paraphernalia or could this also be an obvious Biblical reference?

Judges 5:4
LORD, when thou wentest out of Seir, when thou marchedst out of the field of Edom, the earth trembled, and the heavens dropped, the clouds also dropped water.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[WoodyUzimon6618]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

You are absolutely correct, Mr. White. That is a message from the Lord himself. My last name is Uzimon.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

You are absolutely correct, Mr. White. That is a message from the Lord himself. My last name is Uzimon.

Mr. Uzimon, you're turning out to be a fascinating man! While I'm not quite sure what you mean by your testimony (born from your father's eye to atheist parents yet you were a Christian from the beginning, and I'm not sure where praying away the gay fits in, but anyway), you must have many adventures of a spiritual kind to share! Tell us what you do for a living. How do you best like to share the Good News with the Spiritually Walking Dead that surrounds you?

[WoodyUzimon6618]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

Mr. Uzimon, you're turning out to be a fascinating man! While I'm not quite sure what you mean by your testimony (born from your father's eye to atheist parents yet you were a Christian from the beginning, and I'm not sure where praying away the gay fits in, but anyway), you must have many adventures of a spiritual kind to share! Tell us what you do for a living. How do you best like to share the Good News with the Spiritually Walking Dead that surrounds you?

By "since the beginning" I mean since I was just an infant. I found that being a Christian is what life is all about. I could have been a sinning Catholic. Also, praying the gay away caused my parents to fall over and die.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

By "since the beginning" I mean since I was just an infant. I found that being a Christian is what life is all about. I could have been a sinning Catholic. Also, praying the gay away caused my parents to fall over and die.

Clearly you weren't a Christian since infancy. How could you confess your sins and accept Christ to be born again before you even stopped drooling, pooping in your diapers, and sucking on your mother's teat?

[WoodyUzimon6618]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

I baptized myself hours after my parents fell over and died. My parents were both two atheist gay men. I never had a mother!

[Nobar King]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

I baptized myself hours after my parents fell over and died. My parents were both two atheist gay men. I never had a mother!

I am unsure of the veracity of some of this.

[WoodyUzimon6618]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

I am unsure of the veracity of some of this.

Some of it is exaggerated.

[BlueProdigy]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

Everyone knows demons die to Wrath of God...


but so does everything else.

[refridgerator]

Re: I am here to spread the word about possible demons lurking around our everyday lives.

Dear friend,

You may think that you picked an arbitrary number but Jesus must have had His hands involved. Please study Psalms 66:18 very carefully. It is probably a message from Jesus. To you!

I can also see that your name 'Uzimon' is actually just 'Nomizu' spelled backwards. This also requires an explanation. 野水 Or no-mizu is, as you of course know, a Japanese surname that could be translated as the field of fresh water (field + cold water). Do you have an unnatural interest in Chinese paraphernalia or could this also be an obvious Biblical reference?

Judges 5:4
LORD, when thou wentest out of Seir, when thou marchedst out of the field of Edom, the earth trembled, and the heavens dropped, the clouds also dropped water.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

A Professor should circunscript his knowledge divulgation to the are he studies.

In Chinese you just can't now what does a series of sillabes means, because the accent of a sillabe can change it meaning completely.

Example:

媽 - ma - Mother

马 - ma - Horse