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  • #1

    Hello everyone!

    Hello! I'm new and very confused and don't know what I should be doing in this forum, and why I am "Unsaved Trash" even though I went to church for about 12 years. Please tell me what I should do in this forum and become a Christian.



    P.S. I like that Trump icon
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  • #2
    Re: Hello everyone!

    Hello Random Friend! I hope I can call you friend! I'd like to call you Brother or Sister, but I don't know if you are truly a member of the Body of Christ™. It sounds like you're interested in become one! That's fantastic! Did you know the angels rejoice greater than any earthly celebration you have ever heard of each time a sinner repents and accepts Christ (Luke 15:10)!

    So all you have to do is acknowledge your station in creation. That is to say, when you recognize your inherent offense to the Lord thy God for having been born a sinner and allowing your sin nature to thrive thus far (Ephesians 2:3), you will naturally be horrified. You will wonder why the Lord thy God hasn't smited you already, either in your sleep (which would be more merciful than you deserve), or through some horrendously painful and torturous event. You will naturally feel overwhelming gratitude that He hasn't already booted you down to the pits of Hell, and will want to give your soul to Him, believe everything He says in His autobiography, and accept Him as your Lord and Master (Romans 10:9)!

    Are you ready to pray the Sinner's Prayer, dear?
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • #3
      Re: Hello everyone!

      Hello there,


      Church attendance does not guarantee Salvation. Accepting Jesus Christ into your heart and reading, believing and obeying the KJV Bible are the prerequisites.


      A gentle reminder that your first steps on this Godly forum is to tell us which Church you attend, your favorite Bible Verse, and your path to Belief.


      Phil
      58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


      Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello everyone!

        Originally posted by RandomChristian View Post
        Hello! I'm new and very confused and don't know what I should be doing in this forum, and why I am "Unsaved Trash" even though I went to church for about 12 years. Please tell me what I should do in this forum and become a Christian.



        P.S. I like that Trump icon

        Brother or Sister Random:


        Even I was labeled as unsaved trash when I first visited this forum; the Church has done incredibly thorough investigations and determined that my experience with the Lord is genuine. Only then was I able to shed the moniker of being trash.


        My recommendations to you:


        Post a proper introduction - including whether you are male or the weaker s-e-x. Begin to walk with the Lord and repent as Sister Mary has told you. The Lord will begin to move in your life and you'll be on your way to learning what Christianity truly is! It is a way of life like none other. How I rejoice in my salvation - and you will, too.


        With prayers,
        BrotherLarry
        Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
        “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

        Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
        Amen and Amen

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello everyone!

          Originally posted by RandomChristian View Post
          Hello! I'm new and very confused and don't know what I should be doing in this forum, and why I am "Unsaved Trash" even though I went to church for about 12 years. Please tell me what I should do in this forum and become a Christian.

          P.S. I like that Trump icon

          Hello, RandomChristian. Thank you first for appreciating the Divinely Appointed President Donald Trump of the United States of America. Unfortunately, everyone has to be labeled as unsaved trash when they first enter the One True Church™ of God. Atheists are always infiltrating this forum and trying to troll us so you can see why the Pastors of Landover Baptist had to take precautions. Until the Holy Spirit guides them into discerning your true intentions, I'm afraid you will be labeled unsaved trash (which is better than you deserve anyway, as Sister Mary Etheldreda has graciously pointed out).


          As Brother Phil has said, why don't you tell us what Church you attend, your favorite Bible Verse and how you came to find Jesus?

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hello everyone!

            Welcome friend! Everyone is unsaved until they have proven to God Almighty they are worthy of Him taking a fleeting moment in His busy schedule to notice their existence.
            Tell me, what have you done for God and not what you expect God to do for you, there is no need to be selfish. Have you given most of your income to Him to prove you are willing to suffer as He did on the Cross so long ago? Do you help your Pastor out by painting his house, washing his car, tending to his young sons?
            Give until you bleed from your ankles and wrists as Jesus did on the cross and pray that God cares.
            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello everyone!

              My friends here make good points. I can only add that in Christianity we are all born sinners. We take that literally here at Landover Baptist and require that you find Jesus or forever be "unsaved trash."
              Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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