[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Hello

Mr. Young, I have been wondering if you are the bald man who appears on television in advertisements promising my investments will go up with the stock market but never down. His name is TJ Young also.
I am in favor of sure fire investment strategies that cannot lose. I am currently communicating with an investment advisor with offices on a fashionable square in London concerning a possibly lucrative plan to retrieve bales of US dollars held by dishonest customs officials in Senegal. These bales are actually the property of the widow of Jonas Sambivi, the CIA's man in Angola before his untimely death. A certain trifling sum of money is needed as gifts for the customs officials to induce them to give up the bales of money and the investors will be repaid with some of the bales of US dollars. Do you think you would be interested in this plan? I can't see what could possibly go wrong.

Thank you, Brother Moss, for that reassurance and optimism. I also received that opportunity apparently on a selective mailing that might have included only you and me. On your recommendation I have sent the required sum and am certain I will soon have funds necessary to keep for myself and share with Landover Baptist.

[Brother Gonzalez]

Re: Hello

Hi Mr Young, I hope you are fine.

Thanks for your introduction. I have some questions for you:


1) what is your favorite material for a discipline rod? Wood, metal, hard plastic?


2) what is your standpoint regarding the wave of hate crime in your country? I mean, all those Mexicans and nigras taking American jobs, raping white girls and damaging cars with their bodies.


3) do you wash your hands often? Why?


4) have you ever committed blasphemy against the Holy Ghost?


5) what's your personal favorite way to help God on Earth? Mine is building the wall, others prefer to boycott abortion clinics, others to watch Fox News.


Thanks for your answers.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello

Thank you, Brother Moss, for that reassurance and optimism. I also received that opportunity apparently on a selective mailing that might have included only you and me. On your recommendation I have sent the required sum and am certain I will soon have funds necessary to keep for myself and share with Landover Baptist.

I believe you have made an excellent decision Mr. Mayor. I was alarmed by the news brought by Sister Mitza and I immediately contacted Mr. Sinclair-Lovat, Esq. at his London office who assures me that he has personally seen the bales and that they are most certainly not photocopies. I have prayed extensively over this issue and I am convinced that we will all soon be rich. I intend to personally endow a private prayer chapel/escape pod for Pastor Zeke's new jet in addition to the tithe, of course.