How to close my account?

[Heavenisbest]

Can't find any way of doing it anywhere.

[upchucker67]

Re: How to close my account?

Friend, as eternal as the moon, once you come to Christ, there's no turning back. It's Heaven or Hell.

Psalms 89:37 It shall be established for ever as the moon, and as a faithful witness in heaven. Selah.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: How to close my account?

Can't find any way of doing it anywhere.

Dear Sinner,

As a senior member of the LB ChurchI have pondered about this timely question for many years and found no mortal way to close an account. Thus, the only way is to Pray that Jesus do it. Hitherto, no True Christian™ has ever asked that, and I surmise that Jesus only hears True Christian™ Prayers. You are welcome to try to Pray for that and the results will tell us - and you - about your Spiritual state (see also John 9:31 for reference).

However, the aim is not to close anything but to open your heart to Jesus Christ and President Trump.

Revelation 3:20
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[James Hutchins]

Re: How to close my account?

Can't find any way of doing it anywhere.

Contact your bank. Ask them for wire transfer any balance to LBC Trust, General Pastorial Fund. ABA#045100234 Account 8985532158730 and close the account. Praise the Glory. Jesus appreciates your kindness during these uncertain times.

[upchucker67]

Re: How to close my account?

Contact your bank. Ask them for wire transfer any balance to LBC Trust, General Pastorial Fund. ABA#045100234 Account 8985532158730 and close the account. Praise the Glory. Jesus appreciates your kindness during these uncertain times.

I'd be happy to offer my thenomonist services to help see this transaction through. I would personally be delighted to be wired the transfer as proxy to LBC and examine the digital transfer for demons and make sure nothing bounces, or isn't a trojan horse.

[Isabella White]

Re: How to close my account?

Can't find any way of doing it anywhere.

Dear Miss Best: If I were you, I would worry more about whether or not your name is written in the Book of Life, as maintained by Almighty. As a servant of the , I must remind you that the will judge your many sins on your personal Day of Judgement. If your name is not contained within that Blessed Book, then you will find that that will be of much more importance than whether or not you have been able to close your account at . And, I have no doubt that will make reference to our blessed corner of the interwebs here at , as evidence as to your decision to either serve or to reject .

Revelation 20:15 "And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire."

Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: How to close my account?

We need to get something straight here. Once you come to Landover Baptist you are going to hear you are a sinner. You will not hear it once but over and over. Most people, like you, do not want to hear the truth. Like you, they want to turn down the volume or tune us out entirely.

We don't allow that. To save you soul we need to continue to help you. We can only help by shouting loudly about your sin. Someday you will be grateful you were not able to close you account.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: How to close my account?

We need to get something straight here. Once you come to Landover Baptist you are going to hear you are a sinner. You will not hear it once but over and over. Most people, like you, do not want to hear the truth. Like you, they want to turn down the volume or tune us out entirely.

You may call me a weak-minded, over-sympathetic woman, but I find it tragic, Mr Mayor, Sir, that someone has somehow managed not to post for over 8 months and yet finds herself inexorably drawn by His Holy Will to return to our open arms, craving our attention, while still rejecting Jesus.

[James Hutchins]

Re: How to close my account?

You may call me a weak-minded, over-sympathetic woman, but I find it tragic, Mr Mayor, Sir, that someone has somehow managed not to post for over 8 months and yet finds herself inexorably drawn by His Holy Will to return to our open arms, craving our attention, while still rejecting Jesus.

I think it is God's inexpiable Will. He sees pure value in the most depraved of Sinners. Those that live in undeniable truths. The very most wretched of the world.
If they truly wanted to repent, they would. Failure is proof of Gods Majesty.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: How to close my account?

These are perilous times for sinners. Why would you want to reject the armor provided to Christians by God? Why would you reject His word said loud and clear? Do you not fear the Lake of Fire which knows no quenching?