[Martha Chump]

Re: interfaith

Have you tried using fermented hops? Cram some in a bottle with a little sugar and keep in a warm place. You'll need to tie the corks down otherwise they'll pop out.

I don't tend to endorse anything made by the French, but they do have delicious cuisine. Sourdough goes nicely with a bit of escargot avec crème fraîche?

I once tried making sourdough. Dear, oh dear, too much alkaline in a blistering heat. I came to the kitchen finding a blob engorging Peter's Sunday notes I absent-mindedly left on the counter. I was disciplined appropriately thereafter.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Contemporary English Version(s)

Did you know many of them leave out important verses altogether? It's an attempt to placate catholicism, islam probably, zen-type mumbojumbo; who knows what future plans these "translators" have to incorporate heresies (and outright demon worship) into what they see as the fold of Christendom but which no-one else would ever know was supposed to be a Church.

It's best not to read them at all, unless for instance it's necessary to see what the Roman heretics have done to The Ten Commandments or something. It revolts me.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: interfaith

my sourdough starter needs feeding.

Have you tried using fermented hops? Cram some in a bottle with a little sugar and keep in a warm place. You'll need to tie the corks down otherwise they'll pop out.

[Basilissa]

Re: interfaith

The vacuum seal existed well before COVID. It's there to keep that great big Jesus-y essence perma-sealed within the sanctum. Occasional anal sneezes and the mixing of bodily odors create a milieu aroma that makes one say, "Smells like Holy Ghost!"

I'm glad that I'm not a member of your congregation, sweetie. While it's true that God likes a good fart, your congregation seems to have been some sort of OCD freaks even before the coronapanic struck. That is quite pathetic.

I guess I should give you a few minutes of my prayer, but I really can't spare the time, my sourdough starter needs feeding.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Do tell us more of your life among the savages of New England while we await the report from the Security Ministry on your background.


God Bless!

I feel a strong disconnect - the affluence of our town is wasted on material pursuits of this world. Peter has photo documented the neighbours kids, which we keep under watch in hopes to bring them to Jesus and parlay the youth to take back our hood for Christ.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

I have to say, I love how pure and clean the King James Version text is - poetic even!

Take this beautifully written verse.

Leviticus 20:13

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them


The text is written with dripping rich description.


Whereas, say the Contemporary English Version sounds like it was spoken by your average Karen from the Middle East.


"It's disgusting for men to have sex with one another, and those who do will be put to death, just as they deserve."

[Martha Chump]

Re: interfaith

Vacuum sealed?! Dear Miss Martha, a sanctuary is a place where one worships the with all one's heart, in true reverence and dedication -- not a place where one engages in activities akin to kitchen preparation tasks and chop-chop activity!



And, where is your faith in the first place? I'm surprised that you would take part in such commotion, considering that it is the Almighty's preference to protect beloved children (assuming one is a dedicated , first and foremost.)

Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the , and their righteousness is of me, saith the ."

Oh hello Mrs. White! Please don't mistake me. I'd never raise a tongue against Our Beloved Lord! My faith is nurtured by heeding to Our Lord!

Romans 10:17 - So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

[Des]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Thank you for pointing out the evident, sir. It is true, I wed into Oriental-American domiciliary. Our wealth is built upon a China-based Bible printing empire; bulk Bible exports marketed for mass demand in desolate countries. Peter was so clever, he bought out a cigarette factory and converted it for Godly purposes, in an otherwise atheistic, communist dictatorship.

So now you are going to hell and the chinks are using Bible pages to roll their tobacco in now that the cigarette factories all shut down. Hmmm!


Just don't go marrying your whelp off to decent, hard working Americans. But if your daughters should need employment in a clean, Godly environment, I am always willing to suffer the presence of slants as domestic staff.

[Isabella White]

Re: interfaith

As you enter our faith sanctuary, you will find each chamber is further vacuum sealed, encasing believers in, and keeping the corona out! No masks are necessary, in fact, are highly discouraged, for the low air pressure might cause unwanted suffocation. (Ventilation is in next years budget.)

Vacuum sealed?! Dear Miss Martha, a sanctuary is a place where one worships the with all one's heart, in true reverence and dedication -- not a place where one engages in activities akin to kitchen preparation tasks and chop-chop activity!



And, where is your faith in the first place? I'm surprised that you would take part in such commotion, considering that it is the Almighty's preference to protect beloved children (assuming one is a dedicated , first and foremost.)

Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the , and their righteousness is of me, saith the ."

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Isn't Chung a chink name? You didn't accidentally find yourself wed to a chinaman, did you? That almost happened to me once. I was lucky to have the good people of LBC point out the anatomical features my face blindness had missed.

Deuteronomy 7:3Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

Thank you for pointing out the evident, sir. It is true, I wed into Oriental-American domiciliary. Our wealth is built upon a China-based Bible printing empire; bulk Bible exports marketed for mass demand in desolate countries. Peter was so clever, he bought out a cigarette factory and converted it for Godly purposes, in an otherwise atheistic, communist dictatorship.

[Des]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Isn't Chung a chink name? You didn't accidentally find yourself wed to a chinaman, did you? That almost happened to me once. I was lucky to have the good people of LBC point out the anatomical features my face blindness had missed.

Deuteronomy 7:3Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

[Martha Chump]

Re: interfaith

Vacuum sealing a sanctuary sounds to me like a slap in the President's face. Haven't you heard? We've turned the corner on the pandemic. Acting as if COVID were a deadly disease just plays into the hands of the Democrat party and Satan.

The vacuum seal existed well before COVID. It's there to keep that great big Jesus-y essence perma-sealed within the sanctum. Occasional anal sneezes and the mixing of bodily odors create a milieu aroma that makes one say, "Smells like Holy Ghost!"

[Diesel Stanford]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Greetings and welcome to this Protestant forum. I also enjoy hearing the voice of the kids singing in church.



May i ask you why are you teaching if the Word of God forbids it?
(Timotheus 2:11-12) 11La donna impari in silenzio, con tutta sottomissione. 12Non concedo a nessuna donna di insegnare, né di dettare legge all'uomo; piuttosto se ne stia in atteggiamento tranquillo.



Anyway, for the rest i agree pretty much with you and hope that President Trump stays in office for the next four years as well, as Americans can't have Bidet to turn America into a worse Obamanation.


Cheers!

And I pray that you become a true Christian and realize that the Catholic Church damns. Biden is the true fruit of a Roman Catholic. While Donald Trump is a godly Presbyterian (and so am I, which of course is not to say that Baptist churches are bad, any evangelical church that use the Authorized King James Bible and preaches from it is welcome).

[Des]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Vacuum sealing is for how you store the meat you killed while hunting on Nugent's Spiritwild ranch or his Sunrize Saafari Hunts or as a mild discipline for wives or housekeeping staff. Seal the perp in a latex vacuum bed and mount it to the wall for a few hours and they will for darn sure not fold the towels wrong again!

Oh, and a tentative hello to Martha. Martha...isn't that a Catholic name? You said something about lost in translation. Guido isn't your first language, is it?

[WWJDnow]

Re: interfaith

As you enter our faith sanctuary, you will find each chamber is further vacuum sealed, encasing believers in, and keeping the corona out! No masks are necessary, in fact, are highly discouraged, for the low air pressure might cause unwanted suffocation. (Ventilation is in next years budget.)

Vacuum sealing a sanctuary sounds to me like a slap in the President's face. Haven't you heard? We've turned the corner on the pandemic. Acting as if COVID were a deadly disease just plays into the hands of the Democrat party and Satan.