Greetings Brothers and help meets

[Heath N. Basher]

Greetings Brothers and help meets,

I am trapped behind the Zion curtain in the den of iniquities to end all dens of iniquities. Or maybe it's the whore mother of all dens of iniquities. Anyhow, I am trapped in Zion and have been surrounded by the evil cult of Mormon.

There are many misguided strays around here who's souls are crying out to be saved. Unlike the darker races, these sinners are actually worth the time and resources to put them on the road to salvation; i.e. they're good at paying the 10% tithe.

I am secretly typing this on a computer smuggled past the barricades and barbed-wire. This is my short introduction plus a request for all your prayers in my single-handed fight against the legions of hell.

YIC,

Heath N. Basher

PS. My favorite bible verse can be found in my signature (below).

[JennyD]

Re: Greetings Brothers and help meets

Shouldn't that be "helps meet", Mr. Basher?

"Help" being the noun, and "meet" being the adjective.

Also, why are you trapped by Mormons in Israel?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings Brothers and help meets

How old are you boy? What church do you attend?

[Juliette]

Re: Greetings Brothers and help meets

How old are you boy? What church do you attend?

Excuse me to interrupt you Pastor. You must be tired of all the hard work you're doing.
Why calling this obvious pagan harlot 'a boy'?

[Heath N. Basher]

Re: Greetings Brothers and help meets

No silly woman, I am not in Israel, I am trapped in is Isn't-real! Zion is the term the godless mormon savages have stolen from us True Christians (TM) to refer to their kingdom of sin, wickedness and depravity.

The only True Christians (TM) around these parts have been forced into hiding. The worshippers of false idols and false prophets have threatened to stone us True Believers on sight for our True Worship. The godless heathens burn down our places of worship while they build LSD "temples" on every street corner dedicated to the blasphemous worship of the whore of Zion, Joseph Smith (fornicator and pervert).

----------------

Pastor Ezekiel, I am as old as the number of generations from Abraham to OUR LORD Jesus Christ (see: Matthew 1:17); and about that infraction you busted me with costing me a 100 points:

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15)

Just you keep that in mind, Pastor, next time you go handing out demerits!

Yours in CHRIST,

Heath N. Basher

[Heath N. Basher]

Re: Greetings Brothers and help meets

One more thing, miss smartypants!

Are you actually suggesting that Jesus didn't know proper English grammar when he picked up his Holy pen and jotted down these immortal lines?

And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

[Genesis 2:18]

Don't bother packing a parka when you travel on to the pearly gates!


YIC!!!

Heath N. Basher

[Heath N. Basher]

Re: Greetings Brothers and help meets

Another demerit?

Thank you Pastor Ezekiel, may I have another?

-------------------------

"Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22

Yours In CHRIST!

Heath N. Basher

[JennyD]

Re: Greetings Brothers and help meets

One more thing, miss smartypants!

Are you actually suggesting that Jesus didn't know proper English grammar when he picked up his Holy pen and jotted down these immortal lines?


[Genesis 2:18]

Don't bother packing a parka when you travel on to the pearly gates!


YIC!!!

Heath N. Basher

No, dimwit, I'm suggesting YOU don't know proper English grammar.

You attempted to pluralize "help meet" by saying "help meets". You added an "s" to the adjective, not the noun. The plural should be "helps meet".

Jesus has perfect grammar. You, on the other hand, are an Unsaved Moron who seems to be trying very hard to get banned.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Greetings Brothers and help meets

Son, new Unsaved Trash like yourself need to take it slow. Tell us a bit more about yourself, not your situation. Are you married? Have you fathered any Soldiers for Christ with you wife?

If you are not married, why aren't you? You're not a fornicator or a faggot, are you boy? God's not fond of fornicators and queers boy!


Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities.
Jude 1:7-8