[Buckminster Carlson]

Re: Hi Everyone

Don't mind Brother Sayved, he's a bit of a kidder! He once put a live fish down my pants after service one Sunday! We all had a laugh about my slippery, quivering, one-pound trouser-trout that day!

I wish I could have been there, Captain. How on earth did he keep it during service that long?

What brought you to our fine church of the Interwebs Brother Buck? Are there any indiscretions that you feel the need to confess to us? Any debauchery, fornications, sinful desires? Anything at all? Tell us now, and the Lord may forgive you.

Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:

Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.

But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,

Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved)
Ephesians 2:2-5

You sound like a true man of God, quoting scripture like it's your native tongue. I don't have anything in my past to confess. Jesus done washed me good and clean. My nephew just got done hooking up the interwebs at my house and I figured I'd go and test it out. It only took me half an hour to find out how to search and I figured I'd make my first search in honor of Jesus: Baptist church. This one was the fourth one down and the only one worth staying at. Well, I should say that the main website was the fourth one down. I found this place later on. And I'm sure glad I did!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Hi Everyone

I wish I could have been there, Captain. How on earth did he keep it during service that long?

I kept it alive in a nether region that is unfit to mention on this forum.

YIC,
Sayved

[Nobar King]

Re: Hi Everyone

Brother Carlson, you seem like a Godly fellow, and we'd like to know a little more about you. Do you keep your lawn tidy? What kind of lawn mower do you ride?

[Buckminster Carlson]

Re: Hi Everyone

This is a picture of my lawn.





I fired the little Mexican boy that used to keep my lawn about six months ago and I've been mowing myself ever since. I use this John Deere mower.





For those bigger jobs around the farm, I use the tractor, but in all honesty I rarely pull this one out of the garage.

[Bob4God]

Re: Hi Everyone

Welcome Buck! I see you're from Kansas!

I was born and raised in Kansas, and only recently moved to Freehold to be closer to my Christian Brothers and Sisters. Tell me, did you ever hear of Corn Null Kansas? It's my hometown. Yes, I know the proper spelling is 'Knoll' but the Godly founders of the place were home schooled by well-intentioned parents.

Welcome, and GOD Bless!

-Bob4God

[Buckminster Carlson]

Re: Hi Everyone

Welcome Buck! I see you're from Kansas!

I was born and raised in Kansas, and only recently moved to Freehold to be closer to my Christian Brothers and Sisters. Tell me, did you ever hear of Corn Null Kansas? It's my hometown. Yes, I know the proper spelling is 'Knoll' but the Godly founders of the place were home schooled by well-intentioned parents.

Welcome, and GOD Bless!

-Bob4God

I can't say I've ever heard of the place, but I'm sure that just like everywhere else in Kansas, the people are friendly there. Were you home schooled yourself? I'd very much like to move to Freehold. It sounds like a wonderful place. An entire town filled with nothing but Christians. It must be wonderful living there.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Hi Everyone

Welcome, Brother Buck!

I'm sure you will meet my wife Delores and me at church sometime soon. Tonight we will say a prayer that through Landover Baptist Church you will truly experience the love and joy in a life devoted to Christ, and the sweet, caring embrace of God's borderline-sadistic wrath.

In Him,

Monty

[Buckminster Carlson]

Re: Hi Everyone

Thank you for the warm welcome, sir, but I'm still attending the First Baptist Church here in Ashland. I am sincerely interested in moving to Freehold. My son told me he would look after the farm until he sells it. I always knew he wanted to be a farmer instead of a pencil pusher. Anyway, I'd like to make reservations at a Sunday service ASAP and begin to look at real estate. Can you tell me who to get in touch with?

[Nobar King]

Re: Hi Everyone

Nancy at Landover Realty is nice. She'll drive you all over town and show you the choice spots.

[Buckminster Carlson]

Re: Hi Everyone

Thank you, Mr. King. I will contact her immediately.

[Bob4God]

Re: Hi Everyone

Yes, you'll find all of the real estate agents in Freehold to be very welcoming and willing to show you their property any time of the day.

If you visit Freehold, be sure to swing by the God Guns 'n Guts Hunting Club. I am often founding hanging out there discussing activities for True Christian manly men. Also, come see me at Freehold Firearms for all your gun, ammunition, armor and armor piercing needs.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Hi Everyone

I kept it alive in a nether region that is unfit to mention on this forum.

YIC,
Sayved

I guess I missed another of Brother Sayved's jokes the first time through this thread!

He had several trout in a big bucket in the back of his truck. I guess he'd had some good luck first thing in the morning out at Lake Merom.

And saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets.

And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon's, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship.
Luke 5:2-3