Hello Everyone.

[duTiFul]

I would first like to thank you all for allowing this unsaved unwelcome trash onto these forums. I thought I might have been banned from even entering, guess you don't have the IP of all the unsaved on a database somewhere. I promise to keep it civil here....at least semi-civil.

HAI THUR!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Hello Everyone.

Welcome Friend. Can you tell us a bit more about yourself? Are you a decent Christian? Do you dislike Obama as much as you do Hillary Clinton? What is your favorite Bible verse?

While we may not have a database with all the IP's of Unsaved Trash - Jesus has BTW- we have our own Department of Faith that is already looking into your file.

If there's anything you are hiding from us, now is the time to come forward.

[duTiFul]

Re: Hello Everyone.

Already working on my file eh?

Well guess there's no reason to hide it anymore.

I am currently a a member of the Unreal Tournament Christian Gaming Map Ministry. Although, I am not currently playing UT, my passion still lies in making the horribly violent and distasteful venue known as "video-games" a place for the Lord. And if that means fragging every virtual homer and negro from here to California, I'll do it.

On the topic of Obama, it's not that I dislike the "man", it's more like I Love him in Christ so much, that I wish for nothing more than for him to see the future his life holds if he continues on his Godless ways. I want him to see the hungry flames of hell devouring his flesh, and scorching his lungs. I want him to feel the excruiating pain of eternal damnation and the experience the thought of spending an eternity without any chance at True Salvation. But I only wish these things, so that he might be Truly Saved. I'm a softie, I know.

And Hellery Clit-on, well let's just say, Christ is still working on my heart.

And I must say my favorite Bible passage is not necessarily one verse. Naturally I enjoy the entire Word of God, but my favorite passage is from Revelation.

And I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach unto them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people,
And there followed another angel, saying, Babylon is fallen, is fallen, that great city, because she made all nations drink of the wine of the wrath of her fornication.
And the third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand,
The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb:
And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

Revelation 14:6-11

It reminds me that no matter how hard I try some people are just never going to get it, and that they will experience the full wrath of God, while I will be beyond the Pearly Gates, not having to worry about their everlasting damnation.

[Talitha]

Re: Hello Everyone.

Welcome to Landover friend. It's nice to occasionally find someone who shares our Christian belief.

"Unreal Tournament Christian Gaming Map Ministry" is a bit of a strange conflict with what we believe so I'm pleased you do not presently play
Have you ever thought of joining the Police so you get to shoot people for real? (whilst upholding the State Laws of course).

[duTiFul]

Re: Hello Everyone.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ministries.html

It must have slipped your inept female mind Talitha. Forgiven. This time.

Join the Police? Why in God's Glorious Name would I do that? I have no intention of helping the liberal socialist government or media one bit. However I do own tons of guns.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L90ghtJBjWE&feature=related

Had a hard time at first justifying my stance on guns but then I found http://www.christiangunowner.com/index.html , and it helped out a lot.

[Talitha]

Re: Hello Everyone.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ministries.html

It must have slipped your inept female mind Talitha. Forgiven. This time.

Whilst as a Female, I admit to having a mind more akin to a Pink Kitten than a True Christian™ Male, I suggest you watch your Tongue.
You are Unsaved Trash right now, and as such must treat ALL True Christians™ with more respect.
Any more "Lip" from you and you will receive an Infraction from me that may result in you being SHUNNED.

Do I make myself clear?

[duTiFul]

Re: Hello Everyone.

Perhaps I phrased it wrong, you forgot something, I corrected you, I don't see any harm in that.

In any case, glad to be here, hopefully I'll be able to give to the Lord soon. I'm currently unemployed, which I think is because I didn't do a better job of keeping that terrorist HUSSEIN out of the Oval Office.

[duTiFul]

Re: Hello Everyone.

Well I suppose I should apologize for insulting you Sister Talitha. I did not mean to upset you or go against how things were run around here.

I guess I grew up in a much stricter environment. I'm still learning.

Formal Apology,

I, duTiFul, apologize for overstepping my bounds and insulting Sister Talitha, A TRUE CHRISTIAN™, and me being unsaved trash, should not have insulted you. Please find it in your "compassion and caring love" that "knows no bounds" (as stated to me by Pastor Wide-Open) to forgive me.

Humbled,

duTiFul

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello Everyone.

I would first like to thank you all for allowing this unsaved unwelcome trash onto these forums. I thought I might have been banned from even entering, guess you don't have the IP of all the unsaved on a database somewhere. I promise to keep it civil here....at least semi-civil.

HAI THUR!

You might be surprised what the DOF keeps tabs on.

Why do you worship satan?

[duTiFul]

Re: Hello Everyone.

Pastor Ezekiel, I was not aware that I was a satan worshiper. Thank you for bringing me to the light. As I have previously stated, I'm going to have to beat up small Negro children to get the money to tithe this coming month, but I do fully intend to.

Thank you for your patience Pastor Ezekiel.

Humbly,
duTiFul

[Deaner]

Re: Hello Everyone.

As I have previously stated, I'm going to have to beat up small Negro children to get the money to tithe this coming month,

Beat up negros for money; what kind of Christian are you? Darkies don't have any money. Go get your parents credit card and tell them you're going to buy the whole family eternal bliss and happiness in Heaven. Who could resist that?

[duTiFul]

Re: Hello Everyone.

My parents are currently in hell because they didn't give to this church. They were godless people.

Brother Deaner, you were completely right, I didn't think that the darkies didn't have money, maybe I'll go beat up the joos. Those poor unsaved Jesus-Killers have all the money.

[JennyD]

Re: Hello Everyone.

My parents are currently in hell because they didn't give to this church. They were godless people.

Brother Deaner, you were completely right, I didn't think that the darkies didn't have money, maybe I'll go beat up the joos. Those poor unsaved Jesus-Killers have all the money.

Stealing is stealing, friend.

We do not advocate stealing. We are Christians.

Perhaps you could make some money by joining the Godly US Army, and going to Iraq! Our boys (and gals) are over there liberating American oil from God-mocking Muslims. Now, THAT is a Godly endeavor!

[duTiFul]

Re: Hello Everyone.

GREAT IDEA SISTER JENNY!!

Although I've heard that I don't get enough money to survive or even protect myself over there? Much less be equipped with the proper loadout to wipe those Mooslims over there, off the face of the Earth.

By the way, Pray for me as the gas tank in my SUV seems to be continually empty these days. I missed two Godly Abortion Rallies this month because of it.

[JennyD]

Re: Hello Everyone.

GREAT IDEA SISTER JENNY!!

Although I've heard that I don't get enough money to survive or even protect myself over there? Much less be equipped with the proper loadout to wipe those Mooslims over there, off the face of the Earth.

Oh, nonsense. The Army will take care of you, and you can direct-deposit your paycheck to Landover.

By the way, Pray for me as the gas tank in my SUV seems to be continually empty these days. I missed two Godly Abortion Rallies this month because of it.

Really? With gas at just over $2 a gallon?

You MUST be poor. In spirit.