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hello bretheren, I am reverend Christopher McChan, or as my congregation calls me SparkleJugs. I do not know why they call me this, but I use this nickname to help them follow jesus, for we are all sinners and none of us deserve his grand salvation, but he blesses us with his forgiveness each and every day!
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Re: I AM ALMIGHTY REVEREND McCHAN!
False Christian alert.Originally posted by Rev. SparkleJugs View Post -
Re: I AM ALMIGHTY REVEREND McCHAN!
HOW DARE YOU FEEL DUBIUOSLY ABOUT MY FAITH, HEATHAN! YOU ARE NOT HOLY ENOUGH TO WASH MY SHOES, HOMER!Comment
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Re: I AM ALMIGHTY REVEREND McCHAN!
There is only One Almighty, and that is our Lord, God. I don't know what "church" you preach at, "Reverend", but perhaps you need to spend some time conversing with one of our grand Landover pastors.Posted via Prayer
1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!
Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
Greetings, Reverend!
What manner of name is McChan?
For that matter, whence came Sparklejugs? Tell me, do you have a Bedazzler and use it often on your jugs? Of milk, or OJ?
Does the name somehow relate to a particular ministry in which you engage? We'd love to hear the details of how you share God's Word!
Do you share God's Word at a particular church, or do you engage more in one-on-one or small-group outreach, grasping individual souls for Jesus?
As to the meat of the matter, which version of the King James 1611 Bible do you use? Hardcover or softcover, or the large-type edition?
What is your favorite Bible verse, and why?
Again, welcome to God's Favorite Forum!Last edited by OnYourKnees; 01-14-2007, 05:09 AM.Comment
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
McChan is a name of german-irish decent, although I have very little irish in my blood (about 5%). I've overcome many hardships due to the name. I use the hardcover small print version, as was intended by God. I do not know why, but a young boy of no more than 14 said it once at our children's service, and the name sort of stuck with the children, so I embraced it.
I usually preach in the sandy baptist church, in Oregon, God's great rain state.
My favorite verse is "A wise son maketh a glad father." Proverbs 10:1Comment
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
Glad to hear it, Reverend! And very thoughtful of you to provide a link to your favorite verse!Originally posted by Rev. SparkleJugs View Post
I use the same version as you! For a brief time, while witnessing behind a truck stop outside Miami, I used a hardcover large-print version -- for the sake of all the retirees down that way. Easier for them to read, you know.
As you have no doubt experienced, sometimes it's necessary to use one's Bible to physically rebuke the unSaved. While the hardcover large-print version is excellent for deterring a would-be mugger, it may be a bit heavy for rebuking your average RV-driving 72-year-old.
Fortunately, the Sheriff was a man of God who was in the market for a new Winnebago, so I took his advice to switch back to the small-type version. Lesson learned!Comment
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
Please forgive me if I do not know the bible as well as I should, I only recently became a reverend, and was an assistant to our previous reverend until his unfortunate expiration a month ago.Comment
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
Well you certainly aren't recognized as a "reverend" here at Landover Baptist. I suggest that you resign your position at whatever false Christian cult you previously belonged to, and begin to seek the meaning of Jesus' bloody sacrifice for us all here with us.Originally posted by Rev. SparkleJugs View Post
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
Welcome, Sparkler. I think. Since you're on Moderation, I do not wish to be caught Dead giving you an enthusiastic welcome should you not prove to meet our standards, because then your stench would rub off onto me and then all the Brothers and Sisters'd sneer at ME!
You know?Comment
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
Whelcome Chan,
I echo Sister SUV I echo Sister SUV I echo Sister Suv
We know it's just a matter of your finding your 'sea legs' here at Land-
over. Read the forums and get with the program.
Cheers,
PeterComment
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
Welcome Stranger.Originally posted by Rev. SparkleJugs View Post
Your Surname sounds like you are a Scots-Chink. Tell me, have you Yellow Blood circulating somewhere in your veins? If you are not at least a 10th generation American White Male then you may not be allowed into Freehold without special Concessions issued by a Pastor.
Sparklejugs? Hmm, sounds like the place where that Homer Michael Jackson would keep his Jesus© Juice.Last edited by Talitha; 01-14-2007, 05:07 PM.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
All too well. I'm not sure why I'm on moderation, but I probably said something stupid. I'm afraid my knowledge of the bible isn't anywhere near as extensive as most on this forum...Originally posted by SUV View Post
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Re: I am Reverend Sparklejugs!
Of course; that's why we're Jesus' elect, and you're not, or at least not yet. Still, have heart, study your Bible, and stick around: Christ could yet decide to welcome you to His Almighty Bosom. Or maybe He will move us to ban you and forever sever your connection with His Church, and thus your best chance of avoiding eternal damnation. At this early stage, there's just no way of saying.Originally posted by Rev. SparkleJugs View PostAll too well. I'm not sure why I'm on moderation, but I probably said something stupid. I'm afraid my knowledge of the bible isn't anywhere near as extensive as most on this forum...
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
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God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.Comment
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