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  • Mrs. Robert Roberts
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Feb 2009
    • 109

    #1

    I'm back!

    Lordy! Praise the Lord! I'm back at Landover Baptist.
    I'm not sure how many of you remember me. It's been about 5 years?
    Mr Roberts and I have been on various missions in Sodom and other Heathen lands, trying to beat some Godliness into the locals.

    When I was here at LBC before I used to help with the church picnics. Are they still going on? I have some chicken salad that I made before we left five years ago and I'd like to bring it to the next picnic.

    It's good to be back!

    Mrs. Robert Roberts
    George Jesus Bush
    Savior of Democracy

    Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: I'm back!

    Welcome back to God's favorite forum. Things may have changed a bit, as Jesus has been supervising us pretty closely. Have a look around, and tell us about your travels.

    How's your husband Robert?
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • JennyD
      Honorary True Christian™
      Sweet Placid Sister
      Forum Member
      • Dec 2007
      • 9567

      #3
      Re: I'm back!

      I hope the chicken salad was in the freezer, dear.
      www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
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      Comment

      • Mrs. Robert Roberts
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Feb 2009
        • 109

        #4
        Re: I'm back!

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Welcome back to God's favorite forum. Things may have changed a bit, as Jesus has been supervising us pretty closely. Have a look around, and tell us about your travels.

        How's your husband Robert?
        Thank you dear Pastor.
        Mr. Robert Roberts and I have been all over the world saving souls for Jesus. Or as far as one can get with a 1959 Rambler. The transmission gave out on a 25,000 foot peak in Nepal. Mr Roberts is waiting there for a part that has to be shipped in from New Jersey. I suspect it may take awhile. He was too cheap to have it flown in, and opted for mule train instead.
        George Jesus Bush
        Savior of Democracy

        Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.

        Comment

        • Mrs. Robert Roberts
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Feb 2009
          • 109

          #5
          Re: I'm back!

          Originally posted by JennyD View Post
          I hope the chicken salad was in the freezer, dear.
          No dear. We unplugged the freezer before we left and submerged all the food in the back forty pond wrapped ina large trash bag. It should be fine.
          Waste not, want not as Mr. Roberts late Aunt Tilly used to say....... Poor thing died from some kind of stomach ailment while we were away.
          George Jesus Bush
          Savior of Democracy

          Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.

          Comment

          • Pastor Al E Pistle
            Christ's Cōnsiliārius
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 9323

            #6
            Re: I'm back!

            Originally posted by MrsRobertRoberts View Post
            No dear. We unplugged the freezer before we left and submerged all the food in the back forty pond wrapped ina large trash bag. It should be fine.
            Waste not, want not as Mr. Roberts late Aunt Tilly used to say....... Poor thing died from some kind of stomach ailment while we were away.
            GAHHHHHHHHHHK! I think I remember you. Didn't you bring potluck when we dedicated the new church and 41 people got the ptomaine?

            I'll bet I still have a picture of you somewhere but I think it's under a different name. Do you have orange......er.....red hair?
            Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
            "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
            Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


            Comment

            • Nobar King
              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
              Christ's Guardian
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2007
              • 23748

              #7
              Re: I'm back!

              I'm not sure why there is a totem pole in your avatar. Are you an eskimo?
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

              Comment

              • Mrs. Robert Roberts
                True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Feb 2009
                • 109

                #8
                Re: I'm back!

                Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                GAHHHHHHHHHHK! I think I remember you. Didn't you bring potluck when we dedicated the new church and 41 people got the ptomaine?

                I'll bet I still have a picture of you somewhere but I think it's under a different name. Do you have orange......er.....red hair?
                Dear Pastor.
                Yes, I did indeed bring potluck to the church quite a few times back then. And sadly a "few" people did come down with some tummy aches. (well twelve did die, but I think that was a coincidence). I have subsequently revised my recipe for Coc au Racoon and now cook it until at least rare.

                My name was the same then, of course.

                I honestly don't remember if my hair was orange at that time, but it's entirely possible. Mr. Robert's brother Bob was in the trucking business at that time and used to come across a lot of hair coloring products that he said fell off the back of the truck. He would give them to me to try out.

                Praise the Lord,
                Mrs. Robert Roberts
                George Jesus Bush
                Savior of Democracy

                Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.

                Comment

                • Mrs. Robert Roberts
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Feb 2009
                  • 109

                  #9
                  Re: I'm back!

                  Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                  I'm not sure why there is a totem pole in your avatar. Are you an eskimo?
                  Dear Brother King.
                  No, I am not eskimo, although Mr Roberts does enjoy an eskimo pie for dessert when I serve my special sauteed squirrel and spaghetti.

                  The totem pole that you refer to is of course the "Old Rugged Cross", in the 1939 Bavarian style. Mr. Roberts picked it up at a garage sale years ago. Can you imagine anyone parting with such an object of beauty?
                  George Jesus Bush
                  Savior of Democracy

                  Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.

                  Comment

                  • SayvedByTheLord
                    Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
                    True Christian™
                    • May 2007
                    • 3151

                    #10
                    Re: I'm back!

                    You seem to be quite the culinary artist. You do only use the finest meat collected from the side of the road ?


                    Leviticus 26:27-29

                    27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                    28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                    29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                    Comment

                    • Mrs. Robert Roberts
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Feb 2009
                      • 109

                      #11
                      Re: I'm back!

                      Originally posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
                      You seem to be quite the culinary artist. You do only use the finest meat collected from the side of the road ?
                      Dear Brother Sayved
                      I generally only prepare those gifts from Jesus on special holidays like Thanksgiving and Ground Hogs Day. It's a lot of work! What with driving all over town, scraping the little critters up, skinning, cleaning, filleting, etc.

                      Mr. Roberts likes to take little Robby Jr. out hunting with the new machine gun that we got the little tyke for his 7th birthday. They usually come back with squirrels, possums, boar, etc. And if they don't have a good day, there's always the neighbors cat.
                      George Jesus Bush
                      Savior of Democracy

                      Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.

                      Comment

                      • Nobar King
                        Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                        Christ's Guardian
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2007
                        • 23748

                        #12
                        Re: I'm back!

                        Maybe I could get you to take care of some chickens?
                        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                        Comment

                        • Mrs. Robert Roberts
                          True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Feb 2009
                          • 109

                          #13
                          Re: I'm back!

                          Chicken Cacciatore would be perfect for the next church picnic.

                          Have you considered putting up some chicken wire around the garden? Or better yet an electric fence.
                          If it's a vegatable garden I'd definately wash the produce well before eating as the chickens are no doubt doing more in there than just pecking the seeds. Salmonella anyone?
                          George Jesus Bush
                          Savior of Democracy

                          Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.

                          Comment

                          • Nobar King
                            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                            Christ's Guardian
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2007
                            • 23748

                            #14
                            Re: I'm back!

                            I already have a picket fence, but the chickens can get thru it easily.
                            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                            Comment

                            • Mrs. Robert Roberts
                              True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Feb 2009
                              • 109

                              #15
                              Re: I'm back!

                              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                              I already have a picket fence, but the chickens can get thru it easily.
                              Perfect. Now just roll out some chicken wire and staple it to the picket fence. On the inside would be less unsightly.
                              George Jesus Bush
                              Savior of Democracy

                              Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.

                              Comment

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