Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

[Sarah Esther]

Hey all! My name is Sarah Esther, but feel free to call me either one! (I normally go by Sarah-- thank God I was named by such great women of the Bible! Praise!) I recently moved to Iowa (I am originally from Alabama!) because I heard about Landover Baptist and I have become a member! Hallelujah! I am a single Christian woman and I hope that someday soon God is going to grant me a sturdy, firm and manly warrior for God to help me make many little soliders for Christ! I can't wait to find a husband to submit to!!

God Bless!!!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Hey all! My name is Sarah Esther, but feel free to call me either one! (I normally go by Sarah-- thank God I was named by such great women of the Bible! Praise!) I recently moved to Iowa (I am originally from Alabama!) because I heard about Landover Baptist and I have become a member! Hallelujah! I am a single Christian woman and I hope that someday soon God is going to grant me a sturdy, firm and manly warrior for God to help me make many little soliders for Christ! I can't wait to find a husband to submit to!!

God Bless!!!

Hello Sarah and welcome to Landover. I am sorry for the disability of beauty which JESUS gave you because you will tend to distract the newly-saved men at Sermon on Sunday. But if you will wear a size 16 black muu-muu with a headscarf, that will help. Please ask Mistress Cookie if you can borrow one of her dowdy outfits.

There is plenty of time. The Department of Faith will have to do a complete background check to see if you qualify for membership and can pay the tithes. If so, Pastor Zeke and myself will examine you personally and certify that you are a virgin and worthy of marriage to a TRUE CHRISTIAN™ man.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Gee, you look familiar girl. Have we met someplace before?

[Sarah Esther]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Hello Sarah and welcome to Landover. I am sorry for the disability of beauty which JESUS gave you because you will tend to distract the newly-saved men at Sermon on Sunday. But if you will wear a size 16 black muu-muu with a headscarf, that will help. Please ask Mistress Cookie if you can borrow one of her dowdy outfits.

There is plenty of time. The Department of Faith will have to do a complete background check to see if you qualify for membership and can pay the tithes. If so, Pastor Zeke and myself will examine you personally and certify that you are a virgin and worthy of marriage to a TRUE CHRISTIAN™ man.

Hello Pastor and thank you for that welcome! Glory! Oh my! I do not want to lead any God-blessed men astray, thank you so much for pointing that out to me, Pastor! I will most certainly contact Mistress Cookie immediately; thank you!!

I am looking forward to the background check to prove myself!! I am also looking forward to sermon on Sunday! No more of that waffle-fluff Christianity! It's time to spread the real thing! Praise!

[Sarah Esther]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Gee, you look familiar girl. Have we met someplace before?

I went to Sermon last Sunday, Pastor, but I was too shy to come and introduce myself to everyone! I plan to get much more involved with the church, though! Praise! I am truly looking forward to being part of the Blessed Church with such wonderful Pastors!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

I went to Sermon last Sunday, Pastor, but I was too shy to come and introduce myself to everyone! I plan to get much more involved with the church, though! Praise! I am truly looking forward to being part of the Blessed Church with such wonderful Pastors!

Lady, you sure didn't come to my sermon. We don't allow unsaved trash within miles of this place.

Let's do first things first, shall we? Give us your particulars, then click on that shiny "Donate" button at the bottom of the page to ensure your Love Offering reaches Jesus directly, and THEN we can begin the discussion about you possibly being allowed into Freehold.

Jesus is not easily tricked.

[Sarah Esther]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Lady, you sure didn't come to my sermon. We don't allow unsaved trash within miles of this place.

Let's do first things first, shall we? Give us your particulars, then click on that shiny "Donate" button at the bottom of the page to ensure your Love Offering reaches Jesus directly, and THEN we can begin the discussion about you possibly being allowed into Freehold.

Jesus is not easily tricked.

Pastor, I beg your forgiveness. I am certainly not tryin' to trick anyone!
And as for the particulars, I beg your pardon, but I am not sure what you mean. I will try and tell you about myself, though, since I think that's what you're asking for!

Let's see! I grew up in Alabama and was homeschooled for all of my years. I had six brothers and sisters and was very blessed with a strong, firm Christian family. I became saved at the age of 12! Before that, however, for a few months I had been hanging out with /heathens/! They would curse and wear dark clothing and listen to the most horrible heavy music. My father found out about it and beat JESUS into me and HALLELUJAH PRAISE FOR THAT!!! I can never thank him enough! He saved my soul!!

I came with my sister Mary to Iowa and am very excited to join a True Christian™ church. I hope you all find me worthy!! There is no better church than this!! Praise Jesus!!!

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Hey all! My name is Sarah Esther, but feel free to call me either one! (I normally go by Sarah-- thank God I was named by such great women of the Bible! Praise!) I recently moved to Iowa (I am originally from Alabama!) because I heard about Landover Baptist and I have become a member! Hallelujah! I am a single Christian woman and I hope that someday soon God is going to grant me a sturdy, firm and manly warrior for God to help me make many little soliders for Christ! I can't wait to find a husband to submit to!!

God Bless!!!

Greetings sister Either one.
You seem like a very nice young lady. I am also happy that you were home schooled! I am a strong advocate for home schooling because reeding is fundermental.
I hope you enjoy your salavtion here at LBC.
One question: Do you bake pies?

Mrs. Robert Roberts

[Jethro]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Pastor, I beg your forgiveness. I am certainly not tryin' to trick anyone!
And as for the particulars, I beg your pardon, but I am not sure what you mean. I will try and tell you about myself, though, since I think that's what you're asking for!

Let's see! I grew up in Alabama and was homeschooled for all of my years. I had six brothers and sisters and was very blessed with a strong, firm Christian family. I became saved at the age of 12! Before that, however, for a few months I had been hanging out with /heathens/! They would curse and wear dark clothing and listen to the most horrible heavy music. My father found out about it and beat JESUS into me and HALLELUJAH PRAISE FOR THAT!!! I can never thank him enough! He saved my soul!!

I came with my sister Mary to Iowa and am very excited to join a True Christian™ church. I hope you all find me worthy!! There is no better church than this!! Praise Jesus!!!

GLORY, homeschooling is the lifeblood of our great nation !

I have one question, are those real ?

[Sarah Esther]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Greetings sister Either one.
You seem like a very nice young lady. I am also happy that you were home schooled! I am a strong advocate for home schooling because reeding is fundermental.
I hope you enjoy your salavtion here at LBC.
One question: Do you bake pies?

Mrs. Robert Roberts

Thank you, sister! You certainly seem very kind yourself! I whole heartedly agree with the homeschooling. I am so grateful that I was blessed to learn in my own home, away from all the evils of the world. Public schools are schools for Satan!! Parents wonder what is going wrong in their families, well, I say it's because they're letting their children romp around at school like animals!

I do bake pies, sister! In fact, I love baking of any kind! Do you? Perhaps on Sunday we shall meet up to exhange recipes for our best pies. I make a mean strawberry pie I've been told!

Blessings!

[Sarah Esther]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

GLORY, homeschooling is the lifeblood of our great nation !

I have one question, are those real ?

Hallelujah!! Praise, brother Jethro! Homeschooling is the way to go!

Well, certainly! I don't believe in altering anything that Jesus gave you! He created us so we must stick with your appearance for we were made in the image of GOD, PRAISE!! Plastic surgery are the words of Satan!! All True Christian™ women are beautiful!

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Thank you, sister! You certainly seem very kind yourself! I whole heartedly agree with the homeschooling. I am so grateful that I was blessed to learn in my own home, away from all the evils of the world. Public schools are schools for Satan!! Parents wonder what is going wrong in their families, well, I say it's because they're letting their children romp around at school like animals!

I do bake pies, sister! In fact, I love baking of any kind! Do you? Perhaps on Sunday we shall meet up to exhange recipes for our best pies. I make a mean strawberry pie I've been told!

Blessings!

Dear sister Either one,
I'd like very much to exchange pie recipes with you. Strawberry is Mr. Roberts favorite fruit pie. Unfortunately he is highly allergic and breaks out into a severe rash. (I've been told that it might be the residual effect of demonic possession from the time before he was saved)
I also make a wonderful racoon pie.

Mrs. Robert Roberts

[streetlight88]

Re: Greetings in the name of JESUS!!!

Hey all! My name is Sarah Esther, but feel free to call me either one! (I normally go by Sarah-- thank God I was named by such great women of the Bible! Praise!) I recently moved to Iowa (I am originally from Alabama!) because I heard about Landover Baptist and I have become a member! Hallelujah! I am a single Christian woman and I hope that someday soon God is going to grant me a sturdy, firm and manly warrior for God to help me make many little soliders for Christ! I can't wait to find a husband to submit to!!

God Bless!!!

Ah, it's nice to meet a fellow Alabamian during fellowship here. I have also moved away from my home state of Alabama (I go to school in Mississippi now). It sounds like Alabama treated you well if that's where you found Jesus.