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  • #1

    Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

    Just a little hello to all you wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ!

    I remember the old forums and I am so happy that the Lord's will was done and these newer,more streamlined forums have come about.

    I do question the little smilies, however. A bit provocative, don't you think?

    See you all on Sunday!
    Malakhi 2:2 If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.
    2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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  • #2
    Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

    Originally posted by Miss Mercy View Post
    Just a little hello to all you wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ!

    I remember the old forums and I am so happy that the Lord's will was done and these newer,more streamlined forums have come about.

    I do question the little smilies, however. A bit provocative, don't you think?

    See you all on Sunday!
    Welcome to Landover, Ma'am. Since this is the "introductions" section of God's favorite forum, how about introducing yourself? Waltzing in and tossing off a rebuke isn't exactly what Jesus wants to hear from a daughter of Eve.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      Welcome to Landover, Ma'am. Since this is the "introductions" section of God's favorite forum, how about introducing yourself? Waltzing in and tossing off a rebuke isn't exactly what Jesus wants to hear from a daughter of Eve.
      Indeed, brother. The name "Miss Mercy" rings no bells of recognition. I suspect this person is just another hands-out, freeloading ne're-do-well who aims to cash in for her own purposes on Landover's name.
      sigpic

      I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

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      • #4
        Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Welcome to Landover, Ma'am. Since this is the "introductions" section of God's favorite forum, how about introducing yourself? Waltzing in and tossing off a rebuke isn't exactly what Jesus wants to hear from a daughter of Eve.
        I do apologize, dear Brother.

        I will make sure to hit that "I Am Sorry"/Donate button this week!
        Malakhi 2:2 If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.
        2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

          I love Jesus and almighty God and would do for him what he tells me to.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

            Originally posted by Miss Mercy View Post
            I do apologize, dear Brother.

            I will make sure to hit that "I Am Sorry"/Donate button this week!
            How about that introduction now, Miss Messy?

            We're all eager to hear all about you.
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

              Miss Mercy,

              I am guessing that you are not married (re:Miss.) Why not? Have no men found you worthy of their hands? Did you not learn to cook, clean, and procreate as a good Christian woman should?
              HUNTING ATHEISTS SINCE 1989.

              I ♣ Seals!!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                How about that introduction now, Miss Messy?

                We're all eager to hear all about you.

                Dear Brother,

                I have been following the teachings of Sister Taffy and Betty Bowers for some time. I used to post in the forums back when it was a long string of posts; not these fancy yet easy to follow sections.

                It is very difficult to find a man who is truly following the word of our Lord. Indeed, the only men worthy of my time are right here at LBC!

                I left Freehold back around 2005 as I was being stalked by a man who swore he was a man of God. It turns out he was a nasty papist! He had forged all manner of documents which made him appear to my dear parents as a suitable young man. My dear mother keeled over from a heart attack and my father led the stoning of this disgusting man.

                That said I have returned to continue my learning and loving of the true Christian way of life! I am so happy that security has been tightened around here.

                I devote most of my time to keeping my dear mother's teachings alive. I cook for my dear father, knit and sew for him, clean for him, and listen nightly to his readings from our KJV and occasionally a rousing delivery of Jonathan Edwards', "Sinners In The Hands of An Angry God". He has told me many times it will break his heart but he must find a proper husband for me. I only use the internet to post and read here when he allows me too, and always under his supervision.

                I do not work as I know a woman's place is certainly nowhere near a man's place. And a man's place is either at work or at Bible study learning to be a better leader of his household and his wife.

                I do hope this answers any questions you may have.
                Malakhi 2:2 If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.
                2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

                  Originally posted by barneyhilliard View Post
                  Miss Mercy,

                  I am guessing that you are not married (re:Miss.) Why not? Have no men found you worthy of their hands? Did you not learn to cook, clean, and procreate as a good Christian woman should?
                  Dear Brother Barney,

                  My dear father is indeed looking for a proper husband for me. He is rather afraid that too many men have become "modernized", that is that they do not wish to put forth the work to rule a proper household.
                  Malakhi 2:2 If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.
                  2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

                    You do sound like a good Christian woman, Miss Mercy.
                    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Praise Jesus and His Mighty Warriors!

                      Allow me to introduce myself madame. My name is Captain Aaron Portway. I work for Landover AirJesus. I am currently "single and looking" as they say.

                      I am 5' 5" tall, I weigh 175 lbs. and have a slight limp due to not wearing shoes as a child.

                      I have been Saved three times (twice Satan tempted me and I backslid into a life of sex, drugs, and depravity but thats over.) I love Jesus more than anything now. I would be very interested in meeting your father to speak about your suitability as a wife, if and when you become a True Christian™.

                      If you are physically fit, able to bear children, and capable of loving a twice-divorced pilot with a weak chin (thus the beard), please contact me through the receptionist at Landover AirJesus.

                      And welcome back to the forum! Praise!
                      sigpic


                      Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                      God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                      Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

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