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  • Martin Poofter
    Unsaved trash, Hateful Bigot
    • Mar 2009
    • 54

    #1

    Mortification

    I am mortified to find that I have received an infraction on my first day in the presence of Landover for having posted in colors when it would appear that I should not have done so.

    I suppose the A representing a choice of colors in which to post is a test laid on me by Jesus and I have failed miserably. I am asked by Pastor Ezekiel which church I attend. Well, it's the one in Quex Road, Kilburn.

    Like most people, I consider myself a sinner and have come here for guidance. Living in a country that many now consider to be hell on earth, under a one eyed socialist Prime Minister is one thing, but realising that he has a propensity to miss going to church on Sundays is another. I may well be a sinner but alongside him, I can definitely claim to have found Jesus. Or perhaps Jesus found me and lead me here.

    I noticed a photo of a London bus in a thread. I would like to have copied it so that I could mention that I have seen the devil sitting in the back seat. Did anyone else notice him? Is this a revelation and if so, what is it intended to convey?

    And what of me? I am as normal as an Englishman could be under the circumstances. Not half as normal as an American, I hasten to add. How can we be considered normal when having been brought up by parents to enjoy tea and biscuits at 4pm every day?

    I would much rather have been introduced to a gun at a young age. Now, that really is power to the people.
    Romans 14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
  • Talitha
    Deaconess
    Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2026
    • 15118

    #2
    Re: Mortification

    Romans 8:13
    For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.


    You shall receive Sanctification here, friend.

    The Infractions you receive here are a sign of our True Christian(tm) Love towards you.
    To receive an Infraction from a Pastor is something you should treasure.

    Sister Talitha

    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



    Comment

    • Martin Poofter
      Unsaved trash, Hateful Bigot
      • Mar 2009
      • 54

      #3
      Re: Mortification

      Well, thank you Sister. It is so gratifying I can be loved, especially by someone as thoughtful as you. I will pray for you in Quex Road.
      Romans 14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

      Comment

      • Talitha
        Deaconess
        Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
        True Christian™
        • Mar 2026
        • 15118

        #4
        Re: Mortification

        Originally posted by Martin Luther View Post
        Well, thank you Sister. It is so gratifying I can be loved, especially by someone as thoughtful as you. I will pray for you in Quex Road.
        This "Methodist" Church sounds a bit false to me.
        Tell me, which Bible to you believe in, and which is your favorite verse?

        Unless you are a True Christian(tm) Baptist then God will not answer your Prayers.

        Sister Talitha

        Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


        HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
        being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



        Comment

        • Martin Poofter
          Unsaved trash, Hateful Bigot
          • Mar 2009
          • 54

          #5
          Re: Mortification

          Why would it sound false, Sister?

          The New International Bible is used in my Methodist Church and my favorite verse is "Whether therefore ye eat or drink or whatever ye do, do all in the glory of God"

          Don't you think that's wonderful, Sister?
          Romans 14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

          Comment

          • Nobar King
            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
            Christ's Guardian
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2007
            • 23748

            #6
            Re: Mortification

            That's why we say grace before dinner. But, you're quoting from a wrong Bible. The KJV Bible states that you should do all of this "to the glory of God", not in it. That one small word makes a big difference, don't you agree?
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • Martin Poofter
              Unsaved trash, Hateful Bigot
              • Mar 2009
              • 54

              #7
              Re: Mortification

              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
              That's why we say grace before diner. But, you're quoting from a wrong Bible. The KJV Bible states that you should do all of this "to the glory of God", not in it. That one small word makes a big difference, don't you agree?
              Oh! Yes, you are right. That's what happens when I type from memory. I have an affliction unfortunately - dyslexia so I have to use a spell checker. It didn't pick that up, although it did warn me about weather for whether.

              Perish the thought that I should freeze because of a typing error.
              Romans 14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

              Comment

              • Nobar King
                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                Christ's Guardian
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2007
                • 23748

                #8
                Re: Mortification

                Lying to Jesus will not get you any points here, bub.
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                Comment

                • Wide-Open
                  Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                  A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                  Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                  True Christian™
                  • Nov 2007
                  • 18449

                  #9
                  Re: Mortification

                  Originally posted by Martin Luther View Post
                  Perish the thought that I should freeze because of a typing error.
                  With the Lord, anything is possible Friend.

                  But please listen to Sister Talita: she may have an underachieving female brain, but she is absolutely right about using the correct Bible version. Using one of these forged bibles - where the words of Baby Jesus are mutilated beyond recognition - is pointless: you might as well read the koran, a Haynes manual about a Volvo 240, or even worse, a cathlyck bible.

                  The King James 1611 Authorized Version is what God wants us to read. He inspired King James directly - although he was just a tool, as he turned out to be somewhat of a homer later in life - to write down the words that He wanted us to read (and read and read...).

                  Reading a false bible is your choice, and God gives you that choice in all his mercy, but you will end up in a place where freezing will be the least of your worries.

                  You sound like a nice chap, so I hope you can see the Light® soon.
                  Psalm 81:10:
                  I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                  open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                  Comment

                  • Capt. Aaron Portway
                    One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
                    Salvation from Above
                    God's Favorite Pilot™
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2008
                    • 6309

                    #10
                    Re: Mortification

                    Brother Luther,

                    Your heart seems to be in the right place, but you need to renounce your False Christian church ASAP and join an Idependent Baptist congregation immediately!

                    And get yourself a KJV 1611 today! If Jesus decides to take you while you're still reading the New INFIDEL Version, you'll end up in Hell for sure!
                    sigpic


                    Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                    God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                    Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

                    Comment

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