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  • #1

    Greetings Believers!!

    My name is Marquella. I live in Wisconsin and worship every day at the FSM Church. Yes, I'm a Pastafarian and hope to be accepted by all. I'm a middle-aged full time student and I believe that no soul shall be left unsaved. Hail all that shall enter here, for none shall leave without their soul being spent in eternal salvation!! All Words here are the Word of God, for He would never allow anyone to utter Words that were Untrue.
    As Christian as most could ever hope to be.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Greetings Believers!!

    We do not accept cultists. Would you like to hear about my best friend, Jesus?
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Greetings Believers!!

      I'm not familiar with your friend, Jesus. Is he a janitor at the mall? I know I saw a guy there with Jesus as his name on his uniform. It may not be the same one, could you please enlighten me?

      Thanks,
      Mar
      As Christian as most could ever hope to be.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Greetings Believers!!

        Originally posted by marquella View Post
        I'm not familiar with your friend, Jesus. Is he a janitor at the mall? I know I saw a guy there with Jesus as his name on his uniform. It may not be the same one, could you please enlighten me?

        Thanks,
        Mar
        No, our Jesus sends you to eternal damnation in a firey pit to be tortured and punished forever and ever as an expression of His love, then laughs at you from Heaven where He lives.

        He also hates being mocked.

        Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
        1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
        1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Greetings Believers!!

          I've searched my telephone directory, and I can't seem to find the FSM Church you are speaking of. Are you sure you didn't just make that up?

          Psalm 40:4
          Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
          Psalm 81:10:
          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Greetings Believers!!

            Wow, that seems quite extreme to the Jesus I met at the mall. He just wanted to clean everything and make it shiny and new. I'm a little freaked out of your Jesus, doesn't sound like a clean freak to me. Who cleans up all this mess after he rips you from this earth? Sounds absolutely muddled and unGodly to me. I thought cleanliness was next to Godliness? Am I mistaken?
            As Christian as most could ever hope to be.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Greetings Believers!!

              I'm willing enough to accept that I could be wrong.

              Thank you for your attention and assistance on my spiritual journey to truth.

              Mar
              As Christian as most could ever hope to be.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Greetings Believers!!

                I doubt you'd find it in your phone book, it's an Asian Christian group. It stands for the Fountain of Sinai Mountaineers. Moses led us to the truth and from there, we were all separated. I seek the one and only real truth that Moses sought.
                As Christian as most could ever hope to be.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Greetings Believers!!

                  Friend, are you saying Ornamentals don't use phones? That's borderline racist isn't it?

                  Anyway, standing near a mountain would bring you Salvation(R). You better get right with Baby Jesus before he prevents you from seeing your next birthday greeting cards!

                  Proverbs 26:6
                  He that sendeth a message by the hand of a fool cutteth off the feet, and drinketh damage.
                  Psalm 81:10:
                  I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                  open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Greetings Believers!!

                    Originally posted by marquella View Post
                    I doubt you'd find it in your phone book, it's an Asian Christian group. It stands for the Fountain of Sinai Mountaineers. Moses led us to the truth and from there, we were all separated. I seek the one and only real truth that Moses sought.
                    I believe that if there is no landline perhaps you can ask around for a cell number? Somthing like that is at the very least possible in a situation like this. I can't imagine a buisness not having a phone. Other than that...you take care of yourself and don't make any trouble around here.

                    God Bless!
                    I have no sig to put here. Just haven't thought about it yet and don't have an idea what to do. Got suggestions? PM me and let me know.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Greetings Believers!!

                      Last time I had to call them it was *666, not sure if that number is still active or not, I haven't needed to call them through a landline in some quite some time.

                      Bless You in Eternal Light,
                      Mar
                      As Christian as most could ever hope to be.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Greetings Believers!!

                        Originally posted by marquella View Post
                        Last time I had to call them it was *666, not sure if that number is still active or not, I haven't needed to call them through a landline in some quite some time.

                        Bless You in Eternal Light,
                        Mar
                        Your quote at the end of your post bothers me a bit. I have no idea what this "eternal light" is that you speak of. In the KJV1611 we have this quote:
                        4In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
                        This is referring of course to Jesus Christ and not some vague light! I think you might be talking about somthing occultic and wrong! Your signiture is a lie and God is not going to allow a unrepenetent liar in his kingdom. You should repent of your deception now.
                        I have no sig to put here. Just haven't thought about it yet and don't have an idea what to do. Got suggestions? PM me and let me know.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Greetings Believers!!

                          It's from this bible verse that I have come to believe in eternal light and hope that all shall partake...

                          John 12
                          12:46                           I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness.

                          Eternal lightness so that ye shall never endure darkeness if you believe.
                          As Christian as most could ever hope to be.

                          Comment

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