Little Koty's Introduction And Rant

[Koty.Thompson (Quarantined)]

"To assure that you get full credit for your donation in Heaven, giving to the Landover Baptist Church or forum thereof is not tax-deductible on earth and will secure you no worldly (ascertainable, material) gain. As Godly Christians, we intend to take over this country and do not constitute a charity. You agree that we make no representations to induce you to donate a love offering!"

There is so much wrong with this (the wrong is bolded). First off, Heaven does not require and monetary gain in order to go there. This technique was used in the 16th century by the Catholic Church in order to gain lots of money on Earth for their greedy desires. Martin Luther did, however, refuted this with his "95 Theses," which led to the creation of the Protestant religion. The Protestant religion was eventually divided into different denominations--including Landover Baptists.

Secondly, why is this church planning on taking over the country? This seems like the worst thing you could do, because in order to take over a country, there will most likely be death (murder). I am pretty sure that murder will send you to Hell, so is this entire church going to Hell?

--Koty

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Does your mother know you've skipped school to sit on your teenage pimply posterior and post blasphemies?

[Koty.Thompson (Quarantined)]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Does your husband know that you've skipped out on you duties as a wife and done something outside the kitchen or bedroom?

(Did he take the chain off you?)

--Also, I like to believe that I don't have to pay money to assure myself into Heaven. I'll just get saved.

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Does your husband know that you've skipped out on you duties as a wife and done something outside the kitchen or bedroom?

(Did he take the chain off you?)

--Also, I like to believe that I don't have to pay money to assure myself into Heaven. I'll just get saved.

Num 18:27 And this your heave offering (best tenth) shall be reckoned unto you, as though it were the corn of the threshingfloor, and as the fulness of the winepress.

I think you should tithe.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Koty, are you here to mock GOD and persecute us True Christians?

If so you are wasting your time. You GLORIFY us with your persecution. JESUS warned us about it and said we would be blessed when this happened.

You FAIL.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Questions on Tithing:

What does "Tithe" mean?

I highly recommend this article: How much should I tithe?

Where do payments of money go and what are they spent on?

The IRS says everything we do is charity. End of story.

How can people afford to live if they give most of their income away?

God provides. HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THE GENEROSITY OF GOD!

Matthew 6:34 Take no thought for the morrow."

Matthew 6.25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on.
Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

But I'm what if I'm poor?

Jesus expects you to tithe 100%:

Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much.
42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing.
43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:
44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living

Jesus says you should give everything: EVERYTHING, even your own family:

Matthew 19:29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

What happens if I don't have the money and never will?

Take out loans and apply for credit cards. The rapture will take you to heaven before you have to pay anything back. Just take a look at the news: disasters, wars, signs all over the place. Clearly we are living in the end times. Keep one credit card to buy food. Send the rest to LBC.

Remember, you can also give with services rather than cash, becoming a missionary is the best way to do this. For example, our Iraq mission is constantly asking for more missionaires due to high turnover.

Okay, I'll give all I have, but why do you have to be so pushy?

Because it's not your money in the first place, it belongs to God:

Psalm 24:1 The earth is the LORD'S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

Haggai 2:8 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.

What happens if I don't tithe?

You are a criminal, and will be treated like one:

Malachi 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Secondly, why is this church planning on taking over the country? This seems like the worst thing you could do, because in order to take over a country, there will most likely be death (murder). I am pretty sure that murder will send you to Hell, so is this entire church going to Hell?

Dear Kotex -

First, looking at your thread title . . . there are no bastards at Landover Baptist. God does not allow bastards in His congregation, or their children, or grandchildren, etc., to the tenth generation:

Deuteronomy 23:2
A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Second, establishing God's Kingdom requires taking charge of the country. Nobody said that would be through violent revolution, but rather through the ballot box. Why is it you atheists assume that Christians are as hate-filled and violent as you are?

Death does not equal murder. Execution is not murder, for example, and neither is engaging in Godly warfare:

Exodus 15:3
The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.

I hope this helps you understand God a little better.

Reading the Bible would help even more! Have you noticed the Bible in a Year section of this forum? Scroll down the main index until you find it, and start reading along with Brother V!

[Koty.Thompson (Quarantined)]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Just a quick question on tithing. If I do in fact need to tithe, then why does it need to be at Landover Baptist Church? Why can't I tithe at a different baptist church? (question specifically to Jeb Thurmond) --"Send the rest to LBC."

Also "Execution is not murder"? Does this mean that it is okay to execute babies before their birth (abortion). If execution is not murder, then it should be okay. I don't a double standard started (i.e. it's okay to execute the "wrong" (which is a perspective by the way), but not okay to execute babies). Choose one or the other. Personally, I think that it is wrong to execute anyone--IT IS MURDER.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Also "Execution is not murder"? Does this mean that it is okay to execute babies before their birth (abortion).

Read what Christians believe about abortion.

The Bible clearly states that pregnant criminals should be executed:

Genesis 38:24:
24 About three months later Judah was told, "Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant."

Judah said, "Bring her out and have her burned to death!"
(Full chapter)

Killing, whether of an adult or a fetus, is acceptable when Godly men authorize it. It is not acceptable when some slut wants to avoid responsibility for opening her legs. This is why we seek to outlaw (secular) abortion as it is currently practised.

[Koty.Thompson (Quarantined)]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Read what Christians believe about abortion.

The Bible clearly states that pregnant criminals should be executed:

Genesis 38:24:
24 About three months later Judah was told, "Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant."

Judah said, "Bring her out and have her burned to death!"
(Full chapter)

Burning a woman to death is clearly murder. If you don't think so, then you are perfectly fine with (for example) burning your daughter to death for getting pregnant while prostituting herself. If this is true, then you really need to reevaluate your life.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Burning a woman to death is clearly murder.

Murder is when a person chooses to kill a person. When God chooses to kill a person, it is called "smiting".

If you don't think so, then you are perfectly fine with (for example) burning your daughter to death for getting pregnant while prostituting herself. If this is true, then you really need to reevaluate your life.

Of course I would not be fine with it, my tears would be sizzling on the torch as I light her up. This is why I work so hard to keep daughters from prostituting themselves!

If parents had to watch their teenage daughters being burned alive for getting pregnant, they would put more effort into raising moral daughters! I'm not "perfectly fine" with it - but it's God's decision, not mine, and I have to obey.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

Just a quick question on tithing. If I do in fact need to tithe, then why does it need to be at Landover Baptist Church? Why can't I tithe at a different baptist church?

If you can find another church which follows the entire Bible -- like my church, North Salem Baptist Church -- then it's fine to tithe there.

However, if you tithe to a church that does not follow the entire Bible, such as the Catholics, or Lutherans, or Methodists, or Southern Baptists, then you may as well be giving your money to the Freedom from Religion Foundation or Satanic Church. You'd be advancing the destruction of God's Word, and delaying the arrival of His Kingdom, by contributing to His enemies.

It's safest to tithe to Landover. North Salem doesn't have a website, so we can't yet accept PayPal tithes.

Also "Execution is not murder"? Does this mean that it is okay to execute babies before their birth (abortion).

Execution is the lawful termination of a life as punishment for a crime, in accordance with God's Law. What crime has the fetus committed, that you would execute it?

Personally, I think that it is wrong to execute anyone--IT IS MURDER.

When you're God, your opinion will matter. Until then, God directs us to execute people who commit crimes against Him. He wins, you lose.

Burning a woman to death is clearly murder. If you don't think so, then you are perfectly fine with (for example) burning your daughter to death for getting pregnant while prostituting herself. If this is true, then you really need to reevaluate your life.

No, she was to be executed for the crime of adultery. That is a perfectly appropriate response, since God says adulterers should be put to death.

Why do you hate God, Kotex?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Donations to God or to greedy Bastards?

I have moved this thread into the "introductions" section of the forum, because it seems to have become your catch-all. You spew out hate like an atheist.

Now I have a couple of questions for you:

Are you a boy or a girl? I can't tell from your avatar or your posts.

Why do you hate God?