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Greetings from the Godless atheist infestation of the Pacific NW
Greetings Friends in Christ:
My name is Pastor Budd Marshall Pickard. My friends call me Pastor Budd Marshall for short. I used to allow Pastor B.M. - but was told that it had become "urban" slang for one of our unmentionable body functions. I live on a small compound on an Island in the Puget Sound. I am the Youth Pastor at the Island Fundamentalist Church of Christ. I'm responsible for shaping the young minds into good Christian soldiers. We start Christian education earlier than many churches. But you would be surprised how many 1 and 2 year olds can understand the concept of evil and hell.
The paragraphs that follow will tell a tale of my parentage, as well as show you the love I have for the Word of God.
I became a "real" Christian at the age of 14 after I was told about the greatness of my biological Father. He is Dr. Kent Hovind, the Worlds greatest Creation Scientist. On a later post I'll go into detail about why he was framed by the Government and the Godless atheists, in league with the Catholics and the Elks Lodges. It was always my goal to follow in his giant footsteps but my mother reminded me that I could never reveal my true identity to non-believers. I'm finally able to tell the story since you are obviously all True Christians
My Mother and "Dr. Dad" as I now lovingly and respectfully refer to him went to High School together. I was told it was a torrid love affair - and that it was only through the will of God and her devotion to the Holy Scriptures that she stayed pure. Ma and I would discuss his wanton advances throughout the years. We agree that it was Satan who gave him those desirous thoughts. The devil knew the man that Dad would become, and knew fathering a child out of wedlock it would destroy him forever. Can you imagine him trying to reach the masses with a sin like that on his record?
But I had to come from somewhere. Well folks, despite what you may have previously been told, a woman CAN get pregnant without ever defiling her body with premarital sex. My mother was extremely clear that she never succumbed to his advances and of course I believe her.
It has always pained me to admit that my Dad committed sexual immorality with his self abuse in my moms bathroom. I'm sure it also pained the Lord. When my mom asked him about the act - he admitted it, but claimed he was totally unaware his seed was deposited on her shower sponge. That was, sadly, the last time they spoke. Apparently God has plans for me, though according to Jeremiah 1:5, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.- because when my mother was cleansing herself with her sponge, well - I think you all get the picture.
My mother raised me to be a Christian, and I first accepted the Lord at age 3, just after we moved to an extremely small town in Central Oregon. A very old man was babysitting me and screamed for hours about how I was going to Hell for using the toilet and for playing with the house cat. My crying at his screams only made him scream more that I would burn forever. My mother calmed me down - but I accepted the love of Christ that night. I was the youngest member of our church to accept the Lord - a title I held for almost four years until "Little Mikey Smith" - the pastors son supposedly accepted Christ at age 1. I have no comment on the issue. I sometimes wished we hadn't moved to such a small remote community - but it had it's benefits.
My mom wanted to be with like minded folk. Unfortunately, this was a group of apocolypse fanatics who believed the Antichrist was upon the Earth and somehow they convinced themselves the bible foretold a zombie apocalypse where the undead would hunt Christians relentlessly. I finally escaped and joined a legitimate fundamentalist Christian Church in Springfield, Oregon.
I lived in exile with my mother until her untimely death from a combination of gingivitis and chrones disease. I shipped her off to the Lord five years ago. Her death focused me and I further developed the fundamentalist Christian belief system that has made me the man I am today. Following is a list of some of the beliefs that define me and my Pastoral style.
I have only the title of "Youth Pastor" because the man training me didn't have the capacity to grant full pastoral privileges. I didn't let that stop me from creating a three tier creationism curriculum designed to teach our kids to be warriors for the Word of God from age 1 to adulthood.
I am also furthering my education at Trinity United Online Bible College. Incidentally they also operate a Trendwest Resorts timeshare and a prepaid legal distributorship out of their location, but I figure a diploma is a diploma. They are not accredited - but I figure it won't matter once I can put that Dr. next to my name. My dad was Dr. Dino. I plan to use the name Dr. Budd Marshall Pickard - Bible Thumper. I got the nickname when I would smack a child in the head if they were stuttering when reading the word of God. Nothing angers me more than a stupid stuttering kid screwing up the beauty of God's word. I don't believe in DNA, but whatever God put in me that was of my dad - I plan to use to reach the masses. Though the atheists tried to stop him, he just kept on telling the same ol' word of God. No matter how much scientific mumbo jumbo they threw at him - the Holy Bible (KJV) deflected it back. It's a great example I plan to follow.
Being new here - I'm anxious to learn and to someday be able to be welcomed through the gates at Landover as a True Christian! I'm assuming the gates are armed - so I assume it's best not to come if not invited - right?
Thank you for your time. God Bless.
Pastor Budd Marshall Pickard
My name is Pastor Budd Marshall Pickard. My friends call me Pastor Budd Marshall for short. I used to allow Pastor B.M. - but was told that it had become "urban" slang for one of our unmentionable body functions. I live on a small compound on an Island in the Puget Sound. I am the Youth Pastor at the Island Fundamentalist Church of Christ. I'm responsible for shaping the young minds into good Christian soldiers. We start Christian education earlier than many churches. But you would be surprised how many 1 and 2 year olds can understand the concept of evil and hell.
The paragraphs that follow will tell a tale of my parentage, as well as show you the love I have for the Word of God.
I became a "real" Christian at the age of 14 after I was told about the greatness of my biological Father. He is Dr. Kent Hovind, the Worlds greatest Creation Scientist. On a later post I'll go into detail about why he was framed by the Government and the Godless atheists, in league with the Catholics and the Elks Lodges. It was always my goal to follow in his giant footsteps but my mother reminded me that I could never reveal my true identity to non-believers. I'm finally able to tell the story since you are obviously all True Christians
My Mother and "Dr. Dad" as I now lovingly and respectfully refer to him went to High School together. I was told it was a torrid love affair - and that it was only through the will of God and her devotion to the Holy Scriptures that she stayed pure. Ma and I would discuss his wanton advances throughout the years. We agree that it was Satan who gave him those desirous thoughts. The devil knew the man that Dad would become, and knew fathering a child out of wedlock it would destroy him forever. Can you imagine him trying to reach the masses with a sin like that on his record?
But I had to come from somewhere. Well folks, despite what you may have previously been told, a woman CAN get pregnant without ever defiling her body with premarital sex. My mother was extremely clear that she never succumbed to his advances and of course I believe her.
It has always pained me to admit that my Dad committed sexual immorality with his self abuse in my moms bathroom. I'm sure it also pained the Lord. When my mom asked him about the act - he admitted it, but claimed he was totally unaware his seed was deposited on her shower sponge. That was, sadly, the last time they spoke. Apparently God has plans for me, though according to Jeremiah 1:5, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.- because when my mother was cleansing herself with her sponge, well - I think you all get the picture.
My mother raised me to be a Christian, and I first accepted the Lord at age 3, just after we moved to an extremely small town in Central Oregon. A very old man was babysitting me and screamed for hours about how I was going to Hell for using the toilet and for playing with the house cat. My crying at his screams only made him scream more that I would burn forever. My mother calmed me down - but I accepted the love of Christ that night. I was the youngest member of our church to accept the Lord - a title I held for almost four years until "Little Mikey Smith" - the pastors son supposedly accepted Christ at age 1. I have no comment on the issue. I sometimes wished we hadn't moved to such a small remote community - but it had it's benefits.
My mom wanted to be with like minded folk. Unfortunately, this was a group of apocolypse fanatics who believed the Antichrist was upon the Earth and somehow they convinced themselves the bible foretold a zombie apocalypse where the undead would hunt Christians relentlessly. I finally escaped and joined a legitimate fundamentalist Christian Church in Springfield, Oregon.
I lived in exile with my mother until her untimely death from a combination of gingivitis and chrones disease. I shipped her off to the Lord five years ago. Her death focused me and I further developed the fundamentalist Christian belief system that has made me the man I am today. Following is a list of some of the beliefs that define me and my Pastoral style.
- Literal Young Earth Creationism
- Young Earth Creationism for kids (Age 1 - 8)
- Young Earth Creationism for older kids (Age 9-13)
- Young Earth Creationism for young adults (Age 14-18)
- Defeating the evil of Mormonism
- Removing "body function" ads from the television
- Supporting Conservative Christian politicians
- Protecting Marriage by not allowing homosexuals to destroy everything we have worked for. Gay rights = no rights.
I have only the title of "Youth Pastor" because the man training me didn't have the capacity to grant full pastoral privileges. I didn't let that stop me from creating a three tier creationism curriculum designed to teach our kids to be warriors for the Word of God from age 1 to adulthood.
I am also furthering my education at Trinity United Online Bible College. Incidentally they also operate a Trendwest Resorts timeshare and a prepaid legal distributorship out of their location, but I figure a diploma is a diploma. They are not accredited - but I figure it won't matter once I can put that Dr. next to my name. My dad was Dr. Dino. I plan to use the name Dr. Budd Marshall Pickard - Bible Thumper. I got the nickname when I would smack a child in the head if they were stuttering when reading the word of God. Nothing angers me more than a stupid stuttering kid screwing up the beauty of God's word. I don't believe in DNA, but whatever God put in me that was of my dad - I plan to use to reach the masses. Though the atheists tried to stop him, he just kept on telling the same ol' word of God. No matter how much scientific mumbo jumbo they threw at him - the Holy Bible (KJV) deflected it back. It's a great example I plan to follow.
Being new here - I'm anxious to learn and to someday be able to be welcomed through the gates at Landover as a True Christian! I'm assuming the gates are armed - so I assume it's best not to come if not invited - right?
Thank you for your time. God Bless.
Pastor Budd Marshall Pickard
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