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  • Nova Joyner-Finer
    Forum Member, Pathetic Cripple
    Forum Member
    • Jun 2009
    • 7
    #1

    Blessings from Down-Under

    Hi all you wonderful friendly folks on fire for the Lord! My fires are burning burning burning red hot down under here in Western Australia! I'm a single female, on fire for the Lord and for anyone who knows how to make a Christian woman happy! I'm pure as the driven snow in case you're wondering, I'm 38 years old and I just hate all those wretched sinner folk with a passion like yourselves! I gird my loins against these folks and pray vigorously to the Good Lord to save me and keep me chaste and unmolested until such time as I can make baby soldiers for the Christian Army of Jesus. Praise Be!
    Its so good to be here among such likeminded folks who know exactly what Jesus wants from us and know exactly how to deliver it....
    So - How Do people?
    For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous.--Lev.21:18
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: Blessings from Down-Under

      Please tell us how you came to find Christ. What church do you attend?
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • HTannor
          America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2009
          • 2612
          #3
          Re: Blessings from Down-Under

          Welcome, Sister Nova.

          Just the thought of your girded loins fills me with joy.
          The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

          "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

            Comment

            • Miss April
              Landover's Version of Carrie Prejean
              Forum Member
              • Apr 2009
              • 685
              #4
              Re: Blessings from Down-Under

              Welcame sister Nova Joyner-Finer to Gods favorite forum its wonderful your from Australia how are you doing?

                Comment

                • Nova Joyner-Finer
                  Forum Member, Pathetic Cripple
                  Forum Member
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 7
                  #5
                  Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  Please tell us how you came to find Christ. What church do you attend?
                  I am unable to attend Church as I am paralysed from the waist down and there is no wheelchair ramp . So I spend my Sundays in the parking lot next to the Roman Catholic Church witnessing through a loud hailer during mass.
                  For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous.--Lev.21:18

                    Comment

                    • Nova Joyner-Finer
                      Forum Member, Pathetic Cripple
                      Forum Member
                      • Jun 2009
                      • 7
                      #6
                      Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                      Originally posted by Miss April View Post
                      Welcame sister Nova Joyner-Finer to Gods favorite forum its wonderful your from Australia how are you doing?
                      I am doing well thankyou . As well as can be expected living in a wheelchair with no feeling below my waist. Thankyou for asking.
                      For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous.--Lev.21:18

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78556
                          #7
                          Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                          OH SWEET JESUS A CRIPPLE!!

                          Getitawaygetitawaygetitaway!



                          Lady, there are no ramps in God's favorite church.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • Nova Joyner-Finer
                              Forum Member, Pathetic Cripple
                              Forum Member
                              • Jun 2009
                              • 7
                              #8
                              Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                              Originally posted by HTannor View Post
                              Welcome, Sister Nova.

                              Just the thought of your girded loins fills me with joy.
                              I have to keep my girded loins clean as they are on fire so much for Jesus they require a lot of maintenance. My carer is kept very busy cleaning up after me - washing this, powdering that, time and time again.
                              For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous.--Lev.21:18

                                Comment

                                • Nova Joyner-Finer
                                  Forum Member, Pathetic Cripple
                                  Forum Member
                                  • Jun 2009
                                  • 7
                                  #9
                                  Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                  OH SWEET JESUS A CRIPPLE!!

                                  Getitawaygetitawaygetitaway!



                                  Lady, there are no ramps in God's favorite church.




                                  I deserve your rebuke Pastor - and I am careful not to offend fellow baptists with my infirmity, which is why I limit my socialising to witnessing to the cathyliks during their services from the car park next door. I think Jesus is happy with my compromise.
                                  For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous.--Lev.21:18

                                    Comment

                                    • James Hutchins
                                      True Christian™
                                      Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                       
                                      • Jun 2009
                                      • 29457
                                      #10
                                      Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                                      Originally posted by Nova Joyner-Finer View Post
                                      I deserve your rebuke Pastor - and I am careful not to offend fellow baptists with my infirmity, which is why I limit my socialising to witnessing to the cathyliks during their services from the car park next door. I think Jesus is happy with my compromise.
                                      Witnessing a catlick service is akin to tonguing the devil!
                                      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                        Comment

                                        • Nova Joyner-Finer
                                          Forum Member, Pathetic Cripple
                                          Forum Member
                                          • Jun 2009
                                          • 7
                                          #11
                                          Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                                          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                                          Witnessing a catlick service is akin to tonguing the devil!
                                          Witnessing - or 'tongueing the devil' as you put it gets me all damp and sweaty - so sweaty and damp in fact my moist and fragrant undergarments must be replaced by my carer each time. Those Cathliks have a lot of services so I find my self in a stste of undress most of the time, being sponged dry and powdered sometimes 5 times aday.
                                          For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous.--Lev.21:18

                                            Comment

                                            • James Hutchins
                                              True Christian™
                                              Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                               
                                              • Jun 2009
                                              • 29457
                                              #12
                                              Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                                              How come no picture? Always funnypleasing to see the face of a cripple Christian.
                                              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                                Comment

                                                • James Hutchins
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                                   
                                                  • Jun 2009
                                                  • 29457
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                                                  Ah, you added a picture, good! You seem to be a foulfine, stout person. I can see why you are infirm.
                                                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                       
                                                      • Sep 2006
                                                      • 78556
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                                                      Originally posted by Nova Joyner-Finer View Post
                                                      Witnessing - or 'tongueing the devil' as you put it gets me all damp and sweaty - so sweaty and damp in fact my moist and fragrant undergarments must be replaced by my carer each time. Those Cathliks have a lot of services so I find my self in a stste of undress most of the time, being sponged dry and powdered sometimes 5 times aday.
                                                      You must be quite a sight out there in your wheelchair and your bullhorn. Do you hand out Chick Tracts? Do you have a drool cup you throw at them?

                                                      We really should get some video of that.
                                                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                        Comment

                                                        • HTannor
                                                          America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
                                                          True Christian™
                                                          • Jun 2009
                                                          • 2612
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Blessings from Down-Under

                                                          Please ignore my previous post.

                                                          In my haste, I expressed joy about Sister Nova’s girded loins.

                                                          Finding out she’s impaired forces me to wonder how one girds loins that are numb.
                                                          The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                                                          "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

                                                            Comment

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