Greetings

[godsangel]

I would like to say hello to the members here.

I would like to learn more and be enlightened and so I have come here. It is my hope that you will teach me the lessons to a better life.

If you will indulge me, I will give you a little bit of my background.

I am 33 years old. As a child, I was "exposed" to religion (I prefer to not disclose the religion. I will say that it was not Baptism.) In my adolescences, I became involved in many activities. I fell away from church. I did not forget the teachings, I just did not visit the church.

Recently, I had an epiphany. (It must have been the Lord's work) I feel I must get involved in church. I was drawn to Baptism, I am not sure why - perhaps it is the teachings?

As far as work goes, I am currently seeking a career that will allow me to share with the Lord. Previously, I was in a Public Relations positions. It was my responsibility to ensure that our customers had a positive experience at our facility. It was (now their) mission to ensure the highest level of customer service so that the clients would return.

Thank you for your time.

God's Angel.

[godsangel]

Re: Greetings

My apologies for the double post. I received a second email shortly after my registration email. In the second email it asks that I write in an American grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules.

Please pardon my ignorance, but I am not fluent in American. (A failure of the Public School System, perhaps). I was taught English, and did well, however, I have not studied American.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thank you.

God's Angel

[HTannor]

Re: Greetings

Welcome, godsangel.

I hope you find your time with us both enlightening and fulfilling.

Each of us, upon first arriving, is classified as Unsaved Trash, Under Investigation, and should eventually progress beyond that classification.

In your case, however, it may take a bit longer due to your previous life in a Public Relations career. Sadly, many PR people have an inbred propensity towards absolute bull shittery straining credibility.

Once you achieve our trust, you will burst out of the US/UI label and be accepted by us.

In the meantime you may wish to expand a bit on your profile. For example, are you male or female? If the latter, how are your pie making skills?

If the former, what is your favorite automatic weapon? Just a simple make, model, and muzzle velocity will do to start.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings

What Godforsaken country are you from? You need to go find your English teacher and slap her. "Adolescences?" And "Baptism" is not a religion...

Have you ever read the Holy Bible?

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Greetings

My apologies for the double post. I received a second email shortly after my registration email. In the second email it asks that I write in an American grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules.

Please pardon my ignorance, but I am not fluent in American. (A failure of the Public School System, perhaps). I was taught English, and did well, however, I have not studied American.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thank you.

God's Angel

Good mornin. You ain't from Somali, is you? They don talk good english ober dere. What school did you go to?
It weren't no Heebrew school, was it, cause no-one of us understand dat jibberish talk, neither.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Greetings

Welcome! From you first two rather cryptic posts, I gathered that you are an unemployed female that rejected God as a teenager. Is that correct?

Well, you have come to the right place! This is God's Favorite Church™ and if we accept you, He will accept you! Have you given your husband any little Soldiers for Christ?

[godsangel]

Re: Greetings

I'd rather remain vague. On the internet, nothing is what it seems. Deception is everywhere.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Greetings

I'd rather remain vague. On the internet, nothing is what it seems. Deception is everywhere.

What are you trying to hide? Are you a prostitute or something?

[angels]

Re: Greetings

Hi God's Angel. Welcome to The Best Forum ever.

[godsangel]

Re: Greetings

What are you trying to hide? Are you a prostitute or something?

I am simply proceeding with caution. I know enough about the internet to know that (some) people are not who they appear to be.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings

I am simply proceeding with caution. I know enough about the internet to know that (some) people are not who they appear to be.

I appreciate the honesty. However, even admitted secrecy will only serve to make others leery of you. Accordingly, you will find most unwilling to talk to you.

[HTannor]

Re: Greetings

I know enough about the internet to know that (some) people are not who they appear to be.

WHAT! That is absolutely not true here. We are what we seem. God-fearing, pious individuals seeking salvation amongst our peers.

[godsangel]

Re: Greetings

I appreciate the honesty. However, even admitted secrecy will only serve to make others leery of you. Accordingly, you will find most unwilling to talk to you.

So be it. I will be able to find salvation in the church and IRL, however, personal security cannot be guarantied on the internet.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings

So be it. I will be able to find salvation in the church and IRL, however, personal security cannot be guarantied on the internet.

We have the DOF. And if you feel we are naive about the Internet, think again.

[godsangel]

Re: Greetings

We have the DOF. And if you feel we are naive about the Internet, think again.

You are misconstruing my words. Since you made the comment "most will be unwilling to talk to you" -

My reply meant that I am okay with limited conversation. Perhaps as I spend more time on the site, I will become more open.