Intro

[Chezund Rice]

Hello good people of Landover, from the home of the Huskers. I was wandering about the http://www.whitehouse.org/ site when I had a Diogenes moment and discovered you.
I am an occasional Methodist who doesn't like to sing, although I'm not sure which one causes the other.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Intro

Hello good people of Landover, from the home of the Huskers. I was wandering about the http://www.whitehouse.org/ site when I had a Diogenes moment and discovered you.
I am an occasional Methodist who doesn't like to sing, although I'm not sure which one causes the other.

Welcome to "God's favorite forum". Please tell us about yourself, and read through these threads. I'm sorry to hear that you are an unsaved heathen Methodless false Christian. I pray that Jesus has called you here to open your eyes.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Intro

Hello good people of Landover, from the home of the Huskers. I was wandering about the http://www.whitehouse.org/ site when I had a Diogenes moment and discovered you.
I am an occasional Methodist who doesn't like to sing, although I'm not sure which one causes the other.

Are you from Minneapolis or Norway or what? Are you sure you sure you don't mean a Damascus moment rather than a Diogenes one? Either way, the Sword of Damocles is hanging over you - and when I say Damocles, I mean JESUS! I must confess to being relieved you don't like singing - the prospect of being condemned to eternal Hellfire for being a lukewarm Methodist who rejects Christ must be quite a dreary and depressing one, so if you did take up singing without first accepting Salvation, then you could probably only manage to produce some kind of joyless Morrisseyesque emo caterwauling. God hates that!
Anyway, welcome aboard, and I trust that, over time, you'll become a valued, welcome, tithing member of our community.

[Chezund Rice]

Re: Intro

Not much to tell, Pastor. I work 10 hour nights, sleep during the day and spend what time I have left with my wife and 2 teenage boys.
Does Landover still purchase children? They're lazy, argumentative & profane but seeing as how Iowa is mere hours away and all......
Actually, I'm reconsidering this rash proposal - farm labor's mighty scarce in parts of this state.
Well, I need to go make my breakfast and get some sleep while it's peaceful and quiet here. The kids are in school and the wife's off visiting friends, family or just spending money.
I'll take your advice and read some of the forum first. Adventure awaits.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Intro

Not much to tell, Pastor. I work 10 hour nights, sleep during the day and spend what time I have left with my wife and 2 teenage boys.
Does Landover still purchase children? They're lazy, argumentative & profane but seeing as how Iowa is mere hours away and all......
Actually, I'm reconsidering this rash proposal - farm labor's mighty scarce in parts of this state.
Well, I need to go make my breakfast and get some sleep while it's peaceful and quiet here. The kids are in school and the wife's off visiting friends, family or just spending money.
I'll take your advice and read some of the forum first. Adventure awaits.

Did you see my previous post, or did we cross-post? Oh, and would you describe your sons as being stubborn, rebellious, gluttons and drunkards, by any chance?

[Chezund Rice]

Re: Intro

Did you see my previous post, or did we cross-post? Oh, and would you describe your sons as being stubborn, rebellious, gluttons and drunkards, by any chance?

There appears to be a demon loose in my server network, Brother. He keeps kicking me offline.
My boys might actully be better people if the were drunkards, at least they'd act happier. As for the rest, yes I would say they are.
As regards your first post, my descent is German, but I'm all American Nebraskan. I think that sword you speak of might have long since fallen, so I'm unsure if I've had a Damocles moment (unless I caught it again on the upswing).

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Intro

There appears to be a demon loose in my server network, Brother. He keeps kicking me offline.
My boys might actully be better people if the were drunkards, at least they'd act happier. As for the rest, yes I would say they are.
As regards your first post, my descent is German, but I'm all American Nebraskan. I think that sword you speak of might have long since fallen, so I'm unsure if I've had a Damocles moment (unless I caught it again on the upswing).

Deuteronomy 21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

On the other hand, if they're not drunkards, I don't know if you could honestly make that statement from verse 20, so it's hard to say if you have legitimate grounds for executing them or not. They're not emos, are they?

[Chezund Rice]

Re: Intro

No, not emo; Except about the occasional girl. And we've laid hold and chastised 'em from time to time but they seem to have a short term memory.
Sorry for the long delay, but my work has picked up and we can't seem to keep good help (or get the good help to show up all the time).
The kids have been no problem this week, since I'm so exhausted I just collapse on the bed until it's time to go back to work. I don't hear a thing.
What's God's word on sleep? Would he be offended if I just wanted to take a few Decades off and catch some Z's on a nice soft cloud?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Intro

No, not emo; Except about the occasional girl. And we've laid hold and chastised 'em from time to time but they seem to have a short term memory.
Sorry for the long delay, but my work has picked up and we can't seem to keep good help (or get the good help to show up all the time).
The kids have been no problem this week, since I'm so exhausted I just collapse on the bed until it's time to go back to work. I don't hear a thing.
What's God's word on sleep? Would he be offended if I just wanted to take a few Decades off and catch some Z's on a nice soft cloud?

It's hard to say. As I'm sure you're aware, He disapproves very strongly of sloth and laziness. On the other hand, He does also tell us:
Psalm 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

As far as acquiring decent help, I've just thought of a way you could put your lazy sons to good use and get some new helpers at the same time: just get them to join the army.
Deuteronomy 20:10 When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim peace unto it.
11 And it shall be, if it make thee answer of peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be, that all the people that is found therein shall be tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee.
12 And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it:
13 And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword:
14 But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.

Depending on how much resistance the heathens put up, your sons may be required to slaughter all the men they can find. But either way, God approves of your sons taking all the Iraqi women, children, and cattle they like home as souvenirs. So get your boys to the recruiting office now!

[Chezund Rice]

Re: Intro

Well, Praise God Brother! A solution to my life's irritations may be soon at hand. Saw something about this in the news - "‘Bong Hits 4 Jesus’ case heads to high court".
Don't know the specifics of the case, will Landover soon be able to offer them?