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Well my name is Conrad. I'm 26 years old, and I work at our local gas station. I haven't been to church in a real long time, and I was hoping to reconnect with it. I don't like the churches here, they are too moderate with their teachings. I have looked over this site, and it seems to be in the right place with God. I don't know what else to say, so that's it, I guess.
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Re: Hey guys...
Welcome Conrad!
How did you find our little beacon of Faith here on the Godless internets? As you may or may not know, the World Wide Webs are infested with all manner of perversions and pornographic website pages.
Are you a Baptist my friend? I certainly hope so. If you are not, we can help you find the True Way through study of the KJAV 1611 Bible.
Tell us more about yourself son. Do you have a Godly wife? Any Children? Have you debauched yourself with wanton whores in your time away from the Lord?Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University
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Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21 -
Re: Hey guys...
Connie, if you're 26 then my pitbull is a Hindoo god.
Better come clean, son. You're one of those gametards, aren't you.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
Why did you stop attending service in the first place? Were you molested by a Cathylick?
Do you, or have you ever, participated in heathen moon worship rituals while fornicating with an unshaven hippie drag queen?
Proverbs 23:14- "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
All Unsaved Trash: Read this before posting.Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
The way that I found Landover Baptist was going to Google and simply typing in "God's favorite church". The very first result was Landover, so I am giving it a try, since it is God's favorite church, at least according to Google.
Unfortunately, I have done my fair share of unholy things while I was away from the Lord. I have fornicated, I have abused drugs, I have done many things wrong, but I'm here now to repent for those sins. I want a fresh start, so that is why I'm here.
Pastor Ezekiel, I am, in fact, 26. If you are referring to my profile picture, it is a picture from about to be what I think was the beginning of my straying from the Lord. I don't want True Christians, such as yourselves, to see me as I am now until I have revamped my life to serve the Lord.
I'm not too sure why I stopped attending church. I guess I just rebelled against my parents. They pretty much forced me into the church since I was little, but I just quit going once I got old enough to say "no" to them. I realize now, though, it was a bad decision to tell them that.
As for the moon worshiping thing, I do not know, nor wish to know what that is or what it entails.Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
Well son, you have come to the right place if you want to get your sorry butt Saved(c) from eternal damnation.
Have you got yourself a KJV1611 Bible? If you don't, the Word of God can be had for free if you just visit your local Independent Baptist Church and ask the Pastor for one. Make sure you ask specifically for a KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible.
Also you can read one online at www.biblegateway.com. And for your assisted reading pleasure, Brother V has got a wonderful thread going HERE called "Bible in a Year."
What kind of filth and depravity are you still involved with? You a queer boy? Do you play with yourself? Sniff gasoline fumes? Play chink-made video games? Tell us the truth, boy. Jesus is watching.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
Were your parents Catholics? Did they molest you?
Proverbs 23:14- "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
All Unsaved Trash: Read this before posting.Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
I do not own a Bible, because I did not know what kind to get. There are so many different kinds to choose from I just didn't know which was the right one. I do now though. Also, my parents are not Catholics--they are Methodists, and they NEVER molested me.
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Re: Hey guys...
Yes, because that's how all the kids in 1998 looked and dressed.Originally posted by Conrad Jenkins View Post
The greasy face and lack of tan give it away, gamer. Does your father know you're here? If my kid tried any of that feces, I would make him choose his own rod. Proverbs 13:24 If it wasn't painful enough, I would go get one for him.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: Hey guys...
He does look a bit like that Alaskan teen aged homer we had here a few months back. I think his name was Kotex. This little punk is trying to punk Landover and Baby Jesus.
Luke 5:31
And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick
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Re: Hey guys...
Are you absolutely sure your crazed liberal father has never anally violated you? What about your haggardly mother? Does she touch you in naughty places? Have you ever been raped by any family member whatsoever? Also, do you refer to these disgusting acts as "wincest"?
Please, do not attempt to lie or decieve True Christians™. It will only serve to put you closer to the reaches of Satan. You must come clean about every "daisy chain" you've ever participated in, and must admit every time you've sold yourself to another man for drug money. Please. It is for the good of your soul.
Proverbs 23:14- "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
All Unsaved Trash: Read this before posting.Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
Why must I be called a liar on this site? I am merely introducing myself and both Pastor Ezekiel and Levi Jones have called me a liar. I just want to be reunited with the Lord, and I thought this was the place to start.Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
NO ONE HAS EVER MOLESTED ME!!! I also have never sold my body to men for drug money, but I have sold myself to women. There are some fatties that pay good money for it. I have also stolen for drug money. I am sorry now for what I've done.Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
We get plenty of degenerates waltzing in here thinking they can fool us. The DOF is running a background check on you even as we speak, so everything will be sorted out one way or the other PDQ.Originally posted by Conrad Jenkins View Post
That must have been disgusting to sell your body to obese women. Did you sell yourself to men too?
Through Jesus, all sins can be washed clean, boy.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Hey guys...
So you chose to have sex with your uncle?
I am frankly concerned that you have the AIDS from all this unprotected anal sex with male family members.
Proverbs 23:14- "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
All Unsaved Trash: Read this before posting.Comment
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