[Tertius The Scribe]

Re: Hey guys...

And there you were supposedly "repentant".

Why do you lie? Are you the offspring of Satan? How long have you been "porking" your "hawt" cousins? DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HIDE YOUR SHAME AGAIN, YOU WEURBOO GAMETARD.

[Conrad Jenkins]

Re: Hey guys...

I've been addicted to cocaine and angel dust for quite a few years and I just got our of rehab 3 or 4 months ago.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hey guys...

Also when you say "DOF" and "PDQ", what do those letters stand for? I am just curious.

DOF = Department Of Faith (a division of Homeland Security)

PDQ = Pretty Damned Quick


If you aren't a queer, then why aren't you over in Iraquistan sending mudslime demons to hell for Jesus?

[Conrad Jenkins]

Re: Hey guys...

I have never done anything sexual with anyone in my entire family. That is a very sick and disgusting thing. I would never even think of my family members like that.

It was very disgusting selling my body to them, and no I did not sell myself to men--that where I draw the line. I am not gay.

Also when you say "DOF" and "PDQ", what do those letters stand for? I am just curious.

[Tertius The Scribe]

Re: Hey guys...

So you chose to have sex with your uncle?

I am frankly concerned that you have the AIDS from all this unprotected anal sex with male family members.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hey guys...

Why must I be called a liar on this site? I am merely introducing myself and both Pastor Ezekiel and Levi Jones have called me a liar. I just want to be reunited with the Lord, and I thought this was the place to start.

We get plenty of degenerates waltzing in here thinking they can fool us. The DOF is running a background check on you even as we speak, so everything will be sorted out one way or the other PDQ.

That must have been disgusting to sell your body to obese women. Did you sell yourself to men too?

Through Jesus, all sins can be washed clean, boy.

[Conrad Jenkins]

Re: Hey guys...

NO ONE HAS EVER MOLESTED ME!!! I also have never sold my body to men for drug money, but I have sold myself to women. There are some fatties that pay good money for it. I have also stolen for drug money. I am sorry now for what I've done.

[Conrad Jenkins]

Re: Hey guys...

Why must I be called a liar on this site? I am merely introducing myself and both Pastor Ezekiel and Levi Jones have called me a liar. I just want to be reunited with the Lord, and I thought this was the place to start.

[Tertius The Scribe]

Re: Hey guys...

Are you absolutely sure your crazed liberal father has never anally violated you? What about your haggardly mother? Does she touch you in naughty places? Have you ever been raped by any family member whatsoever? Also, do you refer to these disgusting acts as "wincest"?

Please, do not attempt to lie or decieve True Christians™. It will only serve to put you closer to the reaches of Satan. You must come clean about every "daisy chain" you've ever participated in, and must admit every time you've sold yourself to another man for drug money. Please. It is for the good of your soul.

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Hey guys...

He does look a bit like that Alaskan teen aged homer we had here a few months back. I think his name was Kotex. This little punk is trying to punk Landover and Baby Jesus.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hey guys...

Pastor Ezekiel, I am, in fact, 26. If you are referring to my profile picture, it is a picture from about to be what I think was the beginning of my straying from the Lord.

Yes, because that's how all the kids in 1998 looked and dressed.

The greasy face and lack of tan give it away, gamer. Does your father know you're here? If my kid tried any of that feces, I would make him choose his own rod. Proverbs 13:24 If it wasn't painful enough, I would go get one for him.

[Conrad Jenkins]

Re: Hey guys...

I do not own a Bible, because I did not know what kind to get. There are so many different kinds to choose from I just didn't know which was the right one. I do now though . Also, my parents are not Catholics--they are Methodists, and they NEVER molested me.

[Tertius The Scribe]

Re: Hey guys...

Were your parents Catholics? Did they molest you?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hey guys...

Well son, you have come to the right place if you want to get your sorry butt Saved(c) from eternal damnation.

Have you got yourself a KJV1611 Bible? If you don't, the Word of God can be had for free if you just visit your local Independent Baptist Church and ask the Pastor for one. Make sure you ask specifically for a KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible.

Also you can read one online at www.biblegateway.com. And for your assisted reading pleasure, Brother V has got a wonderful thread going HERE called "Bible in a Year."

What kind of filth and depravity are you still involved with? You a queer boy? Do you play with yourself? Sniff gasoline fumes? Play chink-made video games? Tell us the truth, boy. Jesus is watching.

[Conrad Jenkins]

Re: Hey guys...

The way that I found Landover Baptist was going to Google and simply typing in "God's favorite church". The very first result was Landover, so I am giving it a try, since it is God's favorite church, at least according to Google.

Unfortunately, I have done my fair share of unholy things while I was away from the Lord. I have fornicated, I have abused drugs, I have done many things wrong, but I'm here now to repent for those sins. I want a fresh start, so that is why I'm here.

Pastor Ezekiel, I am, in fact, 26. If you are referring to my profile picture, it is a picture from about to be what I think was the beginning of my straying from the Lord. I don't want True Christians, such as yourselves, to see me as I am now until I have revamped my life to serve the Lord.

I'm not too sure why I stopped attending church. I guess I just rebelled against my parents. They pretty much forced me into the church since I was little, but I just quit going once I got old enough to say "no" to them. I realize now, though, it was a bad decision to tell them that.

As for the moon worshiping thing, I do not know, nor wish to know what that is or what it entails.