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  • Mr Holyfire
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Nov 2009
    • 99
    #1

    New Member

    Hello, my name is Len Holyfire.

    I am from Clearwater, Florida.
    I attend Calvary Road Baptist Church.

    I have been Baptist since the day I was born.
    I've only just come back to church after leaving it 14 years ago due to my father beating me up as a kid.

    It wasn't until recently that I realised that the beatings I copped were most deserved because all children need to have good Christian beatings from their fathers.

    So, what is I should do in order to be a TrueChristian?

    Thank you,
    Leonard Holyfire
    Leonard Paul Holyfire
    Demonologist
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: New Member

      Start Praising Him and stop mocking Him.

      What's your pastor's name? I'd like to give him a call...
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Mr Holyfire
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Nov 2009
          • 99
          #3
          Re: New Member

          Hello Pastor Zeke,

          Thank you very much for the correction.

          I shall praise Jesus until the day I die!

          I am so grateful to be in Jesus' favorite church!
          I also agree 100% to the policy set in these forums!

          I received a private message from you before and would like to apologize.
          Sorry Pastor Zeke
          Leonard Paul Holyfire
          Demonologist

            Comment

            • Mr Holyfire
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Nov 2009
              • 99
              #4
              Re: New Member

              How do I visit Landover Baptist Church?
              Leonard Paul Holyfire
              Demonologist

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556
                  #5
                  Re: New Member

                  Originally posted by Mr Holyfire View Post
                  How do I visit Landover Baptist Church?
                  You don't. Unsaved NOT Welcome.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • Mr Holyfire
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Nov 2009
                      • 99
                      #6
                      Re: New Member

                      Okay, help me be saved then.

                      I think I need to go to rehabilitation with Landover, and need quarantining!

                      Thank you Pastor Zeke.

                      Your's in Christ,
                      Len Holyfire
                      Leonard Paul Holyfire
                      Demonologist

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78556
                          #7
                          Re: New Member

                          Originally posted by Mr Holyfire View Post
                          Okay, help me be saved then.

                          I think I need to go to rehabilitation with Landover, and need quarantining!

                          Thank you Pastor Zeke.

                          Your's in Christ,
                          Len Holyfire
                          Request granted.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • Brother Enoch
                              The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                              True Christian™
                              • Jun 2008
                              • 4392
                              #8
                              Re: New Member

                              Nice to almost meet you, Holyfire.

                                Comment

                                • HTannor
                                  America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Jun 2009
                                  • 2612
                                  #9
                                  Re: New Member

                                  Holyfield. Holyfield?

                                  Are you some relation to that darkie pugilist, Evander Holyfield?

                                  After leaving quarantine, you might consider enrolling in our chruch's ex-negra program.
                                  The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                                  "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

                                    Comment

                                    • Vavoline Johnson
                                      Mammy
                                      Forum Member
                                      • Apr 2009
                                      • 960
                                      #10
                                      Re: New Member

                                      Originally posted by HTannor View Post
                                      Holyfield. Holyfield?

                                      Are you some relation to that darkie pugilist, Evander Holyfield?

                                      After leaving quarantine, you might consider enrolling in our chruch's ex-negra program.
                                      Well, Mr HTanner, it always nice to get some fresh colored blood here at da church and a Negro celebrity at that!
                                      Welcome Mr Evander, hope you get well soon.
                                      Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

                                        Comment

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