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  • Open-Minded Philosopher
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Aug 2007
    • 10
    #1

    Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

    Just letting you all know that. And hello! I love each and every one of you!

    Oh, I do have a problem with Lust, but I think you can all forgive me like your wonderful invisible deity from above! =D
    Your purpose is what you want it to be.
    Tags: None
    • eliot mayfield
      God Squad
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 9324
      #2
      Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

      Originally posted by Open-Minded Philosopher View Post
      Just letting you all know that. And hello! I love each and every one of you!

      Oh, I do have a problem with Lust, but I think you can all forgive me like your wonderful invisible deity from above! =D
      What makes you think God forgives you? Could you show me a verse or two?
      Matthew:
      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


      sigpic

        Comment

        • Brother Enoch
          The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2008
          • 4392
          #3
          Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

          Masturbating to Jesus is not cool.

            Comment

            • Nobar King
              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
              Christ's Guardian
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2007
              • 23748
              #4
              Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

              I think she means that she's sleeping with the gardener.
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556
                  #5
                  Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

                  Originally posted by Open-Minded Philosopher View Post
                  Just letting you all know that. And hello! I love each and every one of you!

                  Oh, I do have a problem with Lust, but I think you can all forgive me like your wonderful invisible deity from above! =D
                  You have more problems than that, lady. God will not be mocked!

                  Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
                  1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
                  1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.
                  Please tell us about yourself. How old are you? What church do you attend? How many times a week does your husband beat you?
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • Open-Minded Philosopher
                      Unsaved trash
                      Under Investigation
                      • Aug 2007
                      • 10
                      #6
                      Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      You have more problems than that, lady. God will not be mocked!



                      Please tell us about yourself. How old are you? What church do you attend? How many times a week does your husband beat you?


                      I presently attend the church services offered by the local homeless shelter when I have a moment between jobs.

                      20 years old as of January 9th

                      Hun, I'll leave it to you to gather if I'm married or otherwise. Although I have dabbled in being bi-curious in my fall semester of University. Interestingly enough, I'm straight. Odd indeed.



                      How about some questions for you now, Stranger! If you were a giraffe and had just jumped out of a plane without a parachute, what would you prefer as your last meal; Garden salad or a pizza? Oh, and it's happening on a thursday. Everything is relevant.
                      Your purpose is what you want it to be.

                        Comment

                        • Brother Enoch
                          The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2008
                          • 4392
                          #7
                          Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

                          Originally posted by Open-Minded Philosopher View Post
                          How about some questions for you now, Stranger! If you were a giraffe and had just jumped out of a plane without a parachute, what would you prefer as your last meal; Garden salad or a pizza? Oh, and it's happening on a thursday. Everything is relevant.
                          Up your thorazine dose, friend.

                            Comment

                            • SUV
                              True Christian™ Princess
                              The Driving Force behind RA12
                              Have at it, anytime!
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 11027
                              #8
                              Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

                              At the bowling alley, too

                                Comment

                                • piercegraham
                                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                                  • Sep 2009
                                  • 186
                                  #9
                                  Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

                                  Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post
                                  Up your thorazine dose, friend.
                                  Ive got agree with you on that
                                  That has to have been the most random post i've ever seen

                                    Comment

                                    • Lola Handcock
                                      Forum Member
                                      • Oct 2009
                                      • 739
                                      #10
                                      Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

                                      Originally posted by piercegraham View Post
                                      Ive got agree with you on that
                                      That has to have been the most random post i've ever seen

                                      Percy ever consider getting a dose for your self,It could help with your Homersexural urges !

                                        Comment

                                        • Bryan Tamariki
                                          Forum Member
                                          Forum Member
                                          • Aug 2007
                                          • 285
                                          #11
                                          Re: Jesus is a sweet-talker in bed.

                                          Originally posted by piercegraham View Post
                                          Ive got agree with you on that
                                          That has to have been the most random post i've ever seen
                                          You must be crazy if even piercedgayham can't understand your posts.

                                          You cannot dabble with lezbeanism anymore than you can 'dabble' in drugs or satanism - repent of your sin now witch!

                                          Our Lord Jesus when he was on Earth was a chaste man and an example to us all, not a perverted mastebation fantasy!
                                          Joshua 24:15
                                          And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

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