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  • michael.bonnyn
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Dec 2009
    • 1

    #1

    Old Codger Needs Help

    Bretheren and Sistorians,

    I seek your advice on a matter of the gravest importance. The local church has recently become subject to a wave of mindless vandalism by youths. Only yesterday I caught an eight year old boy drawing a sacred, complete with tear drops, on the south facing wall of the church. When I confronted his parents about this they laughed in my face before ordering me to leave their shop.

    The surrounding village, right in the heart of the New Forest (England), is rife with teenage pregnancy, burglaries and gun crime. Last week an elderly lady was kidnapped by joy riders. Despite being released, shaken but unharmed, she does not yet have the courage to attend church.

    I refer regularly to the 10 commandments and hope that one day God will be unrelenting in his punishment of this sinful village. However, your advice and alert chart alarms me. Will I be caught in the cross fire of God's wrath purely because I live amongst these heathens?

    Please help. I am thinking about putting my house up for sale.
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Old Codger Needs Help

    Praise Jesus you got here just in time! Sell your house, apply for a Green Card, and get yourself off of that Godless rock called England. God hates England, as I'm sure I don't need to tell you!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Virgin93
      Unsaved teenaged foreigner
       
      • Sep 2009
      • 153

      #3
      Re: Old Codger Needs Help

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      Praise Jesus you got here just in time! Sell your house, apply for a Green Card, and get yourself off of that Godless rock called England. God hates England, as I'm sure I don't need to tell you!
      Dear Sir, I am sorry if that question may be stupid:
      Does God really hate England or just the Englishmen?

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556

        #4
        Re: Old Codger Needs Help

        Originally posted by Virgin93 View Post
        Dear Sir, I am sorry if that question may be stupid:
        Does God really hate England or just the Englishmen?
        Please click on and read the link I provided. It's that funny little blue line under the words.


        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

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